something of value may be lost
moving to austin means i will no longer be seasick, yet still docked. i might be seasick but it will be for good reason. it'll be because i am sailing through new waters nonstop. and that is the best thing i can do for myself right now.
i'm so glad i am not one of the many who are my age and staying in new jersey doing nothing with themselves not even going to school not even trying new things just seeing the same old people everyday who are in the same position as them. this is the time to get out! you can stay here and have a routine your whole life. DO SOMETHING! let's go! you're going to look back and wonder what the fuck you did with your youth and freedom. there's nothing keeping any of these people here. no responsibility. and if you're not even going to school then just go go go! i've seen it happen to so many people around here and so many of my older friends but they're in their late 20's or early 30's and have real jobs and they can't leave but they wish they could and wish they did. i don't want to have that feeling when i don't have to.
i'm so so glad i get to get out while i can and live and learn. there's so much i'm going to learn and see it's going to be so amazing. and i will probably end up back here but at least i'll be able to look back and say i got out and experienced something different! i am so lucky right now.
"JUST LEAP.. DON'T LOOK, OR YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!"
sometimes i listen to songs and they just make me want to fall in love when really that is the last thing i want/should do right now.
"i want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up"
i am being stupid. i am moving to austin and it is causing me to push people away and make sure new boys that i kiss or new friendships etc don't get too serious because i don't want anything keeping me here and holding me back from this great experience.
but that doesn't mean that i'm trying to push away the friends i've had forever and don't want to see them and keep them in my life because i do i do i do but everyone has gone their seperate ways and are talking bad about each other and worrying about everyones lives when it shouldn't be like that not at all why can't we put everything aside and love again? life was much easier that way, guys....... it really was.
"there are more than enough to fight and oppose
why waste good time fighting the people you like
who will fall defending your name
oh, don't feel so ashamed to have friends "