Writer's Block: It’s about to get hairy
I like beards. They are endlessly versatile. They can be employed to dry the feet, warm the chin, catch those alchemized gushers which will on occasion slip from a busily chewing mouth, and fill the knitting needles of the damned. I personally have achieved great effects with wizardbeard in the textile department. Certain patterns become that much easier when the wool moves of its own accord, and is susceptible to the lure of gushers. Besides which, a beard lends gravitas and dignity to faces that might otherwise be described as antiquated, senescent, gaga, or just irrevocably wrinkly. Through the forgiving screen of a beard, all things become possible once more; the owner of the beard, in defiance of the torpidity of blood and the withering of soul, may go bravely forth to seek new passion and new victories, albeit, one hopes, with their quasimagical pacemaker firmly in hand.