(no subject)
my roommates are
asleep and im here
in my cave of light
leaning anxiously
over my paper.
my fists are
prickling with colors.
i dip my brush into
a water-filled brandy glass and
bring it to my lips to
dry and
shape it before it
touches the paper and
ignites the colors.
one hand is not
enough, one color is
not enough, they
accumulate, they
bleed, i bleed.
my soul tugs excitedly.
my lips and the
tip of my nose
tingle. but no,
alas, not tonight.
There is profound truth!
hidden, scrambled like the
metaphors of a homeless drunkard.
and the whole body crawls, the whole body
strains to comprehend.
we are in between worlds,
we are in the marrow of this world, finally able to look out
and see, see! the layers, the life, the divine, dripping, throbbing,
ebbing and dissipating, the energy the blood of existance.
my eyes are as big as the moon, the whole universe reflected in them,
and the stars have never been closer.
i saw a tear in the world, at 60 mph, and
my senses exploded and i fell and
cut my chin and the pain
crawled happily like an orgasm.
And i realized i knew this place,
i tried to tell you, my soul knows this place
and this is how i knew you, this is
how i've loved you. i tried.
I ventured through unknown lands
my body knew the way
and i was laid down in a clearing.
i made love to a man,
i made love to a god,
i made love to a goddess,
and later to myself.
blood and seed.
and fire, i see it
reaching up in my mind and
suddenly i find myself
naked and white and perfect
in my forest cathedral.
There are awe-inspiring things that
i witnessed that night that i might never tell, but not this:
at the end i cried, huddled next to your sleeping form.
And the next day several layers had been peeled off everything
And the next day i announced my soul was okay to die.
And here i am
my body forgotten in my soul's journey.
here i am
drifting at the edge of gravity's pull,
at the edge of the atmosphere
almost there, too far away from before to feel that i'm not,
as all the edges of my life curl in to meet full circle.
___________
'and she knows':
'i feel as though i am reborn
in my mind
recast as child and mystic sage.'
--smashing pumpkins
___________
i understand.
i love.
asleep and im here
in my cave of light
leaning anxiously
over my paper.
my fists are
prickling with colors.
i dip my brush into
a water-filled brandy glass and
bring it to my lips to
dry and
shape it before it
touches the paper and
ignites the colors.
one hand is not
enough, one color is
not enough, they
accumulate, they
bleed, i bleed.
my soul tugs excitedly.
my lips and the
tip of my nose
tingle. but no,
alas, not tonight.
There is profound truth!
hidden, scrambled like the
metaphors of a homeless drunkard.
and the whole body crawls, the whole body
strains to comprehend.
we are in between worlds,
we are in the marrow of this world, finally able to look out
and see, see! the layers, the life, the divine, dripping, throbbing,
ebbing and dissipating, the energy the blood of existance.
my eyes are as big as the moon, the whole universe reflected in them,
and the stars have never been closer.
i saw a tear in the world, at 60 mph, and
my senses exploded and i fell and
cut my chin and the pain
crawled happily like an orgasm.
And i realized i knew this place,
i tried to tell you, my soul knows this place
and this is how i knew you, this is
how i've loved you. i tried.
I ventured through unknown lands
my body knew the way
and i was laid down in a clearing.
i made love to a man,
i made love to a god,
i made love to a goddess,
and later to myself.
blood and seed.
and fire, i see it
reaching up in my mind and
suddenly i find myself
naked and white and perfect
in my forest cathedral.
There are awe-inspiring things that
i witnessed that night that i might never tell, but not this:
at the end i cried, huddled next to your sleeping form.
And the next day several layers had been peeled off everything
And the next day i announced my soul was okay to die.
And here i am
my body forgotten in my soul's journey.
here i am
drifting at the edge of gravity's pull,
at the edge of the atmosphere
almost there, too far away from before to feel that i'm not,
as all the edges of my life curl in to meet full circle.
___________
'and she knows':
'i feel as though i am reborn
in my mind
recast as child and mystic sage.'
--smashing pumpkins
___________
i understand.
i love.