A New Fanfic
Many years ago, I had a series of short stories called Glimpses of a Brave New World. The stories were set in the third season and explored a number of the implications of time travel and missing ten years of your life that the series ignored. Recently, I was watching another television show featuring characters reacting illogically to large leaps forward in time and I was reminded of these stories that I hadn't thought of in years. Suddenly, I had a new storyline set within the Glimpses framework.
The Mirror-Images of Grief and Hope is about those who were left behind when the SeaQuest disappeared. What happens when you have grieved and mourned only to be offered hope again ten years later? There are no actual SeaQuest characters. You do not need to read any of the other stories in Glimpses of a Brave New World as it stands alone.
The Mirror-Images of Grief and Hope
This first broadcast hadn’t made much of an impact. The flashy, red banner brandished across the screen with the words: “breaking news” was eye catching. He had paid enough attention to hear the first details of the story, in a bizarre string of events a submarine had been found in a cornfield in Iowa. Weird, he had thought and then turned back to his business.
The second broadcast shattered his world:
“We bring you the first visual coverage of the submarine found in Riverside, Iowa earlier today. We apologize for the quality of these images but all non-military personal have been cleared from the field. As you can see, UEO helicopters are already on scene to begin airlifting the stranded sub.
Joining us via satellite is Dr. Carlos Walker, a doctor of maritime history at the State University of New York Maritime College. Dr. Walker, is there anything you can tell us about how this submarine managed to appear in a cornfield?”
“We’re all as baffled as you are as to how a boat of this size could be this far inland. It defies explanation.”
“Is there anything you can tell us about the submarine? If we don’t know how it got there, do we know where it came from?”
“I’m hesitant to say. From the images that have been released by the media, this boat has an extremely unique design. To my knowledge, there has been only one submarine with both the size and the shapes that we’re seeing, but I just don’t see how it could possibly be the same boat.”
The host laughed.
“You can’t possibly leave us hanging there, doctor. Just what is this ship?”
“The submarine was lost years ago with all hands on board. It can’t possibly be the same.”
“Wait, you mean…”
“The SeaQuest.”
His heart stopped and he felt a wave of vertigo at the name. The SeaQuest had disappeared ten years ago, leaving no trace and a thousand unanswered questions, taking his wife with it.
The third, fourth, fifth, and sixth broadcasts held more of the same. The only difference was that it became more and more certain that the stranded submarine was, in fact, the SeaQuest, despite silence from the UEO on the matter.
The seventh broadcast contained the word he was waiting for: survivors, but little other information. There were survivors being held in UEO custody. Not everyone who had disappeared with the SeaQuest was accounted for. They were compiling a list of the deceased but no bodies had been discovered. No more information would be released until the UEO could contact families.
He didn’t watch any more television after that.
*
“Oh, my God, Greg, I came home as soon as I heard. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here earlier. “
Gregory closed his eyes as his wife wrapped her arms around him. Slowly, he shifted to return the embrace.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said, with a hoarse voice. “I don’t know what to tell the kids. I don’t know if I should contact Jenna’s family?”
“The kids have probably already heard. If they haven’t, I will tell them when they get home from the mall. “
“It’s been ten years,” he said, helplessly. “I waited for so long. I don’t know what to think. I just…she was dead! I finally accepted that she was dead and we’re happy now. But now she might not be dead and, I’m sorry, I really am, but I don’t want her to be dead.”
He went into the bedroom and shut the door. Reaching into his underwear drawer, he pulled out a small, blue jewelry box containing his wedding ring. Gregory hadn’t looked at it since he had placed it in the box almost a year ago on the night before his proposal to Mary Anne. Flipping to box open, he starred at the worn, heavy gold band. Oh, Jenna.
The next few days were hell. Mary Anne was so incredibly sweet and supportive but she had to be scared out of her mind. She spent every moment away from his side cuddling their month-old son, James. When she thought he was asleep, she would snuggle up next to him in bed and weep. Deborah could not be pulled away from the photographs of her mom while Kenneth began having nightmares. Their house was always full of friends ineffectively trying to offer support but not knowing what to say. No one could discuss how their lives had changed because no one knew if anything had changed.
When the doorbell finally rang, it was almost a relief. He was alone in the house, having convinced Mary Anne to take James out while Deborah and Kenneth were visiting their maternal grandparents. He took a deep breath before opening the door, only to lose it again at the sight of the chaplain standing next to the Casualty Notification Officer.
“She’s dead,” he said, feeling a strange, chaotic rush of agony and relief.
“Gregory Tyler,” began the officer. He removed his cap and held it in his hands. “I regret to inform you that your wife, Helmswoman Jenna Tyler, was not amongst the survivors recovered with the SeaQuest. “
“And her body? I heard that there had been no bodies found.”
“That is correct, sir. I understand that the situation is highly unusual, but we have found everyone who can be found and your wife didn’t make it.”
“How did she die?”
“Helmswoman Tyler did her duty until the end. The details are all still classified, but I was told to tell you that she saved many lives. The United Earth Organization has lost a wonderful woman and we are very sorry for your loss.”
“I lost her ten years ago.” Hearing his voice crack, Gregory clinched his fists so that he would not cry in front of these strangers.
“And then you had hope. Don’t belittle your grief now,” said the chaplain. “Is there someone we should call for you?”
“No,” said Gregory with a shake of his head. “My wife will be home soon and we will see to notifying everyone else.”
“If you need anything, a support group has been set-up to help all of the SeaQuest families. We have counselors and other services waiting to help you.” The officer handed over several sheets of paper that Greg grasped blindly. “You should also be aware that you may be receiving a few of Helmswoman Tyler’s personal effects.”
Gregory nodded. They didn’t leave until Mary Anne returned but he could not have said what else they had discussed. His wife held him as he shook and tears fell down his face. He felt so guilty that she was here to help him. What kind of world did they live in when his wife had to help him through the grief of his wife’s death? How could he still feel so much love and grief for Jenna when he had promised himself to Mary Anne?
“We need to go tell Jon and Diane,” she said softly.
“And the kids,” he said. “I have to tell them that their mother’s not coming home. Again.”
He slammed his fist down on the coffee table then ran his fingers through his hair.
“I hate this.”
“I know.”
She took him by the hand and led him from the house like a child. He let her, knowing that she was experiencing her own overwhelming emotions, despite never having actually met Jenna. The ride to Jenna’s parents’ house was silent. His children opened the door, knowing that their early arrival meant new news.
“She,” started Greg, shaking his head, “she wasn’t a survivor.” It was easier to say what she wasn’t than to say that Jenna was dead.
Deborah burst into tears but Kenneth just shrugged.
“She was already dead, so it doesn’t matter much any way.”
“Take that back!” shouted Deborah, as she hit her brother. “Take that back!”
“Stop, Deborah, stop,” said Greg as he grabbed her hands. “You know he doesn’t mean it.”
She twisted in his arms, clinging to him as she sobbed.
“It’s not fair,” she kept saying. “It’s not fair.”
“You shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up,” spat Kenneth. He rushed into the house then slammed open the other door to flee into the back yard.
Through the open door, they could hear Jenna’s parents talking from inside the house. Greg passed Deborah off to Mary Anne so that he could go meet them. Diane was already crying. By the time she reached the door, Jon was supporting most of her weight.
“Oh, mum,” said Greg. “Go back in and sit down. There’s nothing else we can do.”
“I just wanted my baby back. I waited for so many years and then finally I thought… but no.”
“I know.”
“I know you do,” she said and clutched his hand. Through the years, she had been extremely supportive of Greg, helping him through the pain and grief of losing Jenna. She took a deep breath to settle herself. “Now, someone should go see to my grandbaby. We’ll be fine here.”
Greg glanced quickly at Mary Anne who was comforting Deborah. She nodded. Jon gave him a gentle shove to his shoulder then began helping Diane back into their living room. Greg made his way through the familiar house, pausing to run his hands over the kitchen table where he had asked Jon for Jenna’s hand in marriage so long ago. When he went into the backyard, Kenneth was sitting in a tree.
“I’m too old to climb up there,” he told his son.
“I don’t want company, anyway.”
“I know you don’t. “ He leaned up against the trunk. A few minutes later, Kenneth jumped down.
“I feel stupid, you know, like I was duped. She was never going to come home and it was dumb to think that she might.”
“It wasn’t dumb, Kenneth. We all hoped for so many years and then to finally have news, it just seemed so promising.”
“You’re just saying that.” Kenneth shoved his hands in his pockets with a scowl. “You have Mary Anne and James now so you didn’t need her.”
“I can’t tell you that I know what I would have done if your mother had been one of the ones to come back. You’re right that it was complicated. But your mother was the love of my life, and however much I love Mary Anne; it never took one iota away from my love for Jenna. I would give anything for her to be alive.” Greg wiped his tears away again, uncomfortable at crying in front of his children.
Kenneth stared at him as though he had never before seen him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I love you, dad.”
“I love you, too. Now let’s go in. You owe your sister an apology and the family needs to be together right now.”
It was another six months before they received a box of her last belongings. They all cried again but this time it felt cleansing. Deborah lovingly unfolded Jenna’s uniforms and caressed the precious few mementos. Kenneth laughed at the anecdotes that could be deciphered from the condolence letters written by her surviving crewmates; they were heavily blackened with censorship strips to protect any classified materials. Greg felt that last piece within him settle again and Mary Anne just smiled. Their family would be fine.
*
Alex Hargrove sat alone that night. His television loomed in the corner of the room, black and silent.
At work the next day, no one spoke to him but everyone watched him. Whispers followed in his wake. People were more interested in staring at his wedding band than meeting his eyes. When his boss brought him into his office and started mumbling things like, “Alexander, I understand how hard this must be for you”; he took the rest of the week off.
He spent his free time cleaning his house. Beth’s pictures were dusted. He pulled out all of her clothes to launder then carefully sorted and shelved them the way she used to like it. For the first time in years, his closet looked full. He thought about making a trip to the grocery store to pick up some of her favorite foods but discarded the idea since he didn’t know when the government would let her come home. Mostly, he sat and thought and fiddled with his wedding ring. People had always told him that he needed to let Beth go but he just couldn’t and now he knew why. She was going to be on the list of survivors. His Beth was coming back to him.
When the military came to his door, there was just a single man and his driver with a black nondescript car. He felt a vicious moment of triumph, remembering when they had brought a whole crowd to tell him of Beth’s “death”.
“Are you Mr. Alexander Hargrove, once married to a Dr. Beth Hargrove?”
“I am Alex Hargrove, current husband of Beth Hargrove,” he said with emphasis.
“Yes, sir,” replied the officer with a brief smile. “I have good news. May I come in?”
“Please.” He led the man into his house. They took a seat at the kitchen table in front of small glasses of chilled water.
“As you have guessed, Mr. Hargrove, your wife Beth is among the survivors that were recently discovered. She is in excellent physical health. Currently, she is being held with the other science staff from the SeaQuest until they have been debriefed and it is safe to release them to the public. We are here to take you to her but first you will have to sign a few confidentiality agreements. When we reach the complex, you and a number of other family members will be briefed on the survivors’ condition and a few details of their experiences. We will also outline what your wife will and will not be allowed to discuss with you. Do you have any questions?”
He shook his head.
“I’ve dealt with enough military bureaucracy over the past ten years to know what to expect. Just give me the papers that I need to sign so we can leave.”
As prepared as he was for moronic military over caution, he raised an eyebrow at the non-disclosure agreements. These were some pretty serious stuff, like conspiracy theory level stuff. Still, he had to sign them to see his wife so sign them he did.
“Do I need to prepare anything?”
“You won’t be returning home for a few days but everything will be provided at the facility.” The officer then stood by the door until Alex was ready to leave. The ride was long. With no watch and the tinted windows obscuring the sun, it was difficult for Alex to judge but it seemed to him that they had travelled for hours when he began to doze. When he awoke, they had finally stopped and he stepped out into crisp morning air.
He was in a courtyard surrounded by steep white stucco walls. An elaborate stone fountain held court in the center. Parked around it on the cobblestone were another six black nondescript cars from which similarly disheveled passengers were emerging. Armed guards stood along the perimeter of the courtyard and in pairs by both exits. A balding man dressed in a lab coat with expensive dress slacks stood beside the lead car with a distinguished but portly military officer.
“If everyone would gather around, we will simply go through a quick security check and then get on with the debriefing,” said the balding man. A murmur of disquiet rustled through the crowd.
Alex hung back until he was last in line. He watched as the people in front of him first went through a metal detector, then an x-ray machine. By the time he passed through, the first ones had been physically patted down and scanned again for who knows what and were now being asked questions. He patiently put up with the treatment knowing that his wife waited at the end.
“They’re clear,” announced another military officer who was completely dressed in black. With this, the first officer disappeared, leaving them with the scientist. The remaining guards herded the group into a lecture hall.
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I am Dr. Everet Lynn. As you all know, the submarine SeaQuest was a duel venture between the military and various science organizations when she disappeared with all hands on deck ten years ago. Now that SeaQuest has been found again, it has been reassigned as solely a military vessel. As such, your loved ones are no longer needed aboard SeaQuest, therefore they will be slowly released back to civilian life as soon as it is safe to do so. Given that many of you have long since moved on with your lives, we recognize that their new civilian life may not include you. You have no legal obligations to any of the survivors. You may back out of meeting with your loved ones or participating in our arrangements at any time. Regardless of which path you choose, you will not be able to discuss anything you learn here today.
“There are a few curious events surrounding the recovery of the SeaQuest and her crew. We have found that for the members of SeaQuest, virtually no time has passed since the SeaQuest disappeared. No one we have questioned knows what happened. They do not know where they were. They do not know what they did. Understandably, this is very traumatic for them. We are currently providing counseling for the members of the science staff. Physically, your loved one will look exactly the same as they did ten years ago. They are under strict medical monitoring to see if their ordeal will have any long term effects, but there may be need for follow-up screenings. When it is time for them to be released, there will be several security measures in place to ensure their anonymity.
“Now I know this is a lot to absorb. Take a minute to think through the implications then we will let you see your loved ones, if you so desire.”
For Alex, there was no question of him wanting to see Beth, but he was struck with a sudden fear that Beth might not want to see him. He had gained weight during the years that she had been gone. He was graying at the temples. The idea, that she could be the same perfect, pristine Beth that he’d lost when he’d been depreciating, was daunting. He had never quite understood how Beth could have loved him as much as she had, so what did he have to offer her now? But at least he would have the chance to see her and hear her voice again before she asked him to leave.
A few people approached Dr. Lynn and were soon escorted from the room. The rest were led through narrow hallways until they reached a series of doors. Alex was pointed towards the third door from the left. With trepidation, he opened the door.
Inside sat Beth. She was perched on the edge of a metal stool with her elbows resting on the table. Her hair was a bit stringy and there were bags under her eyes. Her skin was pale beneath the bright florescent lights of the office. Alex had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Then her expression changed and she was staring at him with a look of horror.
“They told me it had been ten years; I didn’t believe them. It was just so impossible and their evidence so easy to hoax, but you, I almost didn’t recognize you. Oh my god, I’ve lost a decade of my life.”
“I knew that I would be a disappointment.” He began to weep. “I waited. I waited for you. I can’t believe you came back. I’m so glad you came back even though you don’t want me.”
Beth wrapped her frail arms around his shoulders. He startled, surprised that she could bring herself to touch him.
“I’m so sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to leave you for so long. My poor, precious Alex, I could never be disappointed in you.”
He looked up at her and smiled tentatively, worried that she was just placating him.
“I love you,” he said with every fiber of his being, because even if she never managed to love him back again, it was important to him that she knew.
“It doesn’t bother you that I’m now fifteen years younger than you?” She pulled at her sweater nervously.
“You’re perfect,” he said with conviction. “I will always love you. Do you…do you think you could get used to the new me?”
“I love everything about you that matters and I’ll love the new things about you, too.”
“Okay,” said Alex, willing to take her at her word. “I’m so glad you’re home; everything’s going to be perfect.”
“We still have a lot of things to work out, sweetheart. If I’ve missed ten years, I’m going to have to make so many adjustments.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “As long as we’re together, we can handle everything else.”
She still looked serious but Alex could not help smiling.
“I don’t know when they’re going to let us go free. They may never let us go free. We’re freaks of science and a horrible security risk. Are you willing to wait?”
Alex laughed.
“Beth, I’m good at waiting.”
“Yeah,” she smiled at him with tears in her eyes, “I guess you are.”
*
“Deshawn?” asked Elia, as she returned home from shopping. She found him starring at the blank television screen.
“They found the SeaQuest. Kimberly might be alive.”
“Oh,” she said, and sat heavily on the couch. “That’s just… I mean… wow…it’s just…”
“Yeah,” he said. “I know.” He shook his head. “Alia keeps asking what’s wrong and I don’t know where to start. We don’t even know anything and I can’t think.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Nothing. This changes nothing.” He got up and left the room.
The next few days passed in a series of awkward silences. When his wife tried to question him about his first wife, he ignored her or changed the subject. Co-workers at work were afraid to approach him. Elia’s friends kept the phone ringing as they tried to find out news or comfort Elia or do whatever women did when one of them was out of sorts.
Deshawn just felt numb. Losing Kimberly had been the most difficult thing he had ever been through. There were no answers, just his life being senselessly ripped apart. In some ways, learning that she was alive felt the same way. He had healed. He thought of her fondly and sadly but she wasn’t a gaping hole in his life the way she had been right after the disappearance. Meeting Elia, who was the brightest ray of sunshine he had ever met, was the last step to putting Kimberly behind him. And now Kimberly was back threatening his life with Elia. Part of him was angry at her for not staying properly dead and what kind of a horrible of a person did that make him? So he avoided Elia, who made him feel guilty, and any mention of Kimberly or SeaQuest and put his focus on his daughter, Alia.
When a Commander and a Lieutenant appeared in full uniform on his front doorstep, Deshawn was tempted to slam the door on them. Instead, he invited them into his home, telling Elia to take Alia outside to play.
“Your wife, Petty Officer Kimberly Mason, was one of the crewmembers to be recovered with the SeaQuest. “
“Ex-wife,” he said, rubbing his wedding band.
“The United Earth Organization has decided to regard the marital status of all survivors as a legal gray area. Marriages that occurred after the parties were declared deceased are, of course, still recognized; however, your marriage to Petty Officer Mason is also still legal. Technically both are your wives.”
“So now I’m a bigamist,” he said sarcastically. “Great.”
“Not at all, Mr. Mason. We are simply in a very unusual legal position. Should you choose to remain with your current wife, you will not need to divorce Petty Officer Mason. There will be a few simple forms to fill out either way. You have up to two years to make your decision.”
“Why so long?”
“SeaQuests capabilities are necessary for the protection of world freedoms. Unfortunately, only her current crew has the talent and training to harness those capabilities. It will be another year to six months before the situation stabilizes enough that any of the crew can be released on long term leave. As it stands, their current status is highly classified and it will be several months before you or anyone else can even contact a member of the SeaQuest crew. They are being kept with minimum contact and exposure to the current world climate for their own protection.”
“Typical. They get to fight for our freedom but get none for themselves. Is it even safe for her to fight? What happened to them? How are they coping?”
“I’m afraid that all information pertaining to SeaQuest is classified. We are only cleared to release the living status of the crewmembers. Rest assured, that you will be told more before you are reintroduced to your wife.”
“Six months to a year from now.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I wish I had better news. You can write to her.” He placed a business card on the table. “It will be screened; of course, as will any of her replies, but anything sent to this address will eventually reach SeaQuest.”
“Thank you, so much,” he said sarcastically. “I think, perhaps, it is time for you to leave.”
“One last thing,” said the Lieutenant. “If you need anything, a support group has been set-up to help all of the SeaQuest families. We have counselors and other services waiting to help you.” He handed over several sheets of paper.
“Well,” asked Elia. She had come back inside when she heard the car leave. Deshawn was still standing in the middle of the living room.
“Kim’s alive.”
“Okay, are we going to discuss what this means now?”
“There’s nothing to discuss.”
“The hell there’s not!” she shouted. “I have waited patiently for you because I know this whole situation is awful, but now you need to man up. You can’t just ignore this.”
“Mommy?” asked Alia, uncertainly from the doorway.
“We’ll discuss this later, Deshawn, but we are discussing this.”
She picked up her daughter and left the room. Deshawn sat on the couch with his head in his hands. The rest of the night passed in a frosty silence. It wasn’t until late that night when they were lying in bed starring at the ceiling that Elia finally spoke to him.
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
Deshawn sighed, knowing that he could not avoid it any longer.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You worry me, sometimes.” She traced the scar on his wrist from where he punched a wall after the death of Alia’s baby sister. Deshawn took her meaning: he didn’t deal the best with grief or complex emotion.
“I know. I don’t mean to be like this.”
“I’m just so afraid that I’m going to lose you,” admitted Elia.
Deshawn rolled over in bed and took her hand.
“You’re not going to lose me. We have been dating for seven years. Our daughter is five years old. We’ve been married for three years. This is our life; Kimberly doesn’t have a place here anymore. “
“But she’s alive and you loved her so much. She was practically all you talked about when we first met.” She wiped tears from her eyes.
“But I mourned her and let her go. I haven’t seen her in ten years; she’s a stranger. I don’t want to go back to the past. I don’t want to learn to love her again. I don’t care what the UEO says, we’re not married any more; I’m married to you. I love you. I’ll contact a lawyer to make sure that Kimberly gets everything she would have gotten if we’d divorced but that’s it.”
“God, I just feel so bad for her and so guilty. She goes off to war and suffers who knows what kinds of horrors and I steal her man. I know I’m a horrible person because I should give you back to her but I can’t. I love you.”
“Elia, Elia.” He held her close and gently rubbed her back. “You’re not a horrible person. No one could have imagined this situation and I don’t know how to deal with it but I’m not giving up you or Alia.”
“Will you at least contact Kimberly?”
“I don’t really see the point, other than to inform her of the results from the lawyer.” Deshawn just didn’t think it would be fair on anyone to maintain contact with Kimberly.
“I can’t imagine what she must be going through right now. You were her best friend and she was yours. I don’t want you to punish her or to regret how you handled this.”
“You’re a brave, brave woman, Mrs. Mason, and you’re right, but would it really be fair to you or to her?”
Elia leaned over and kissed him gently.
“I’m not going to be jealous as long as you are open with me. We can even go see her together if you would prefer.”
“They’re not letting me see her,” admitted Deshawn. “She’s still in the service, on duty no less.”
“Those heartless bastards! She’s been missing for ten years. They should let her go home and be reunited with her family.” She clutched him tight. “I am so glad you decided against reenlisting.”
“It’s not really surprising; we’re not people to the UEO and they’re desperate.”
“It’s still wrong. How am I supposed to get you to reconnect with Kimberly when she’s half a world away?”
“We can write letters but they’ll be delayed and screened and censored.”
“Bastards,” she muttered again. “All right, so the first thing to do is to write a letter letting Kimberly know that she’s still important to you but that you’ve remarried and have a family. Do you think you can do that?”
Deshawn smiled at his wife.
“I don’t think I have a choice.”
“You don’t,” replied Elia, with a smile. Deshawn was reminded of all the reasons he had married the woman in the first place. “I’m not going to let you abandon the poor woman, but you’re mine now. She’ll just have to be family.”
“I love you,” said Deshawn.
“I know.”
“No, I’m serious. This whole situation has been twisting inside me. Nothing I did was going to be the right thing, but you just laid everything out as pretty as can be. You make me think that maybe things can work. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. Now go to sleep.”
And Deshawn did, thankful that he had such a wonderful family.
*
He met the other two men as usual at the Remembrance Memorial. Like him, each was dressed in immaculate navy blue suits. He shook their hands, murmuring quiet greetings. Everything was the same as last year, but looking into their eyes, he knew that everything had changed. No one spoke as they placed their flowers on the granite steps. The very thing that had united them now made them different. He wouldn’t be returning next year.
The Mirror-Images of Grief and Hope is about those who were left behind when the SeaQuest disappeared. What happens when you have grieved and mourned only to be offered hope again ten years later? There are no actual SeaQuest characters. You do not need to read any of the other stories in Glimpses of a Brave New World as it stands alone.
The Mirror-Images of Grief and Hope
This first broadcast hadn’t made much of an impact. The flashy, red banner brandished across the screen with the words: “breaking news” was eye catching. He had paid enough attention to hear the first details of the story, in a bizarre string of events a submarine had been found in a cornfield in Iowa. Weird, he had thought and then turned back to his business.
The second broadcast shattered his world:
“We bring you the first visual coverage of the submarine found in Riverside, Iowa earlier today. We apologize for the quality of these images but all non-military personal have been cleared from the field. As you can see, UEO helicopters are already on scene to begin airlifting the stranded sub.
Joining us via satellite is Dr. Carlos Walker, a doctor of maritime history at the State University of New York Maritime College. Dr. Walker, is there anything you can tell us about how this submarine managed to appear in a cornfield?”
“We’re all as baffled as you are as to how a boat of this size could be this far inland. It defies explanation.”
“Is there anything you can tell us about the submarine? If we don’t know how it got there, do we know where it came from?”
“I’m hesitant to say. From the images that have been released by the media, this boat has an extremely unique design. To my knowledge, there has been only one submarine with both the size and the shapes that we’re seeing, but I just don’t see how it could possibly be the same boat.”
The host laughed.
“You can’t possibly leave us hanging there, doctor. Just what is this ship?”
“The submarine was lost years ago with all hands on board. It can’t possibly be the same.”
“Wait, you mean…”
“The SeaQuest.”
His heart stopped and he felt a wave of vertigo at the name. The SeaQuest had disappeared ten years ago, leaving no trace and a thousand unanswered questions, taking his wife with it.
The third, fourth, fifth, and sixth broadcasts held more of the same. The only difference was that it became more and more certain that the stranded submarine was, in fact, the SeaQuest, despite silence from the UEO on the matter.
The seventh broadcast contained the word he was waiting for: survivors, but little other information. There were survivors being held in UEO custody. Not everyone who had disappeared with the SeaQuest was accounted for. They were compiling a list of the deceased but no bodies had been discovered. No more information would be released until the UEO could contact families.
He didn’t watch any more television after that.
*
“Oh, my God, Greg, I came home as soon as I heard. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here earlier. “
Gregory closed his eyes as his wife wrapped her arms around him. Slowly, he shifted to return the embrace.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said, with a hoarse voice. “I don’t know what to tell the kids. I don’t know if I should contact Jenna’s family?”
“The kids have probably already heard. If they haven’t, I will tell them when they get home from the mall. “
“It’s been ten years,” he said, helplessly. “I waited for so long. I don’t know what to think. I just…she was dead! I finally accepted that she was dead and we’re happy now. But now she might not be dead and, I’m sorry, I really am, but I don’t want her to be dead.”
He went into the bedroom and shut the door. Reaching into his underwear drawer, he pulled out a small, blue jewelry box containing his wedding ring. Gregory hadn’t looked at it since he had placed it in the box almost a year ago on the night before his proposal to Mary Anne. Flipping to box open, he starred at the worn, heavy gold band. Oh, Jenna.
The next few days were hell. Mary Anne was so incredibly sweet and supportive but she had to be scared out of her mind. She spent every moment away from his side cuddling their month-old son, James. When she thought he was asleep, she would snuggle up next to him in bed and weep. Deborah could not be pulled away from the photographs of her mom while Kenneth began having nightmares. Their house was always full of friends ineffectively trying to offer support but not knowing what to say. No one could discuss how their lives had changed because no one knew if anything had changed.
When the doorbell finally rang, it was almost a relief. He was alone in the house, having convinced Mary Anne to take James out while Deborah and Kenneth were visiting their maternal grandparents. He took a deep breath before opening the door, only to lose it again at the sight of the chaplain standing next to the Casualty Notification Officer.
“She’s dead,” he said, feeling a strange, chaotic rush of agony and relief.
“Gregory Tyler,” began the officer. He removed his cap and held it in his hands. “I regret to inform you that your wife, Helmswoman Jenna Tyler, was not amongst the survivors recovered with the SeaQuest. “
“And her body? I heard that there had been no bodies found.”
“That is correct, sir. I understand that the situation is highly unusual, but we have found everyone who can be found and your wife didn’t make it.”
“How did she die?”
“Helmswoman Tyler did her duty until the end. The details are all still classified, but I was told to tell you that she saved many lives. The United Earth Organization has lost a wonderful woman and we are very sorry for your loss.”
“I lost her ten years ago.” Hearing his voice crack, Gregory clinched his fists so that he would not cry in front of these strangers.
“And then you had hope. Don’t belittle your grief now,” said the chaplain. “Is there someone we should call for you?”
“No,” said Gregory with a shake of his head. “My wife will be home soon and we will see to notifying everyone else.”
“If you need anything, a support group has been set-up to help all of the SeaQuest families. We have counselors and other services waiting to help you.” The officer handed over several sheets of paper that Greg grasped blindly. “You should also be aware that you may be receiving a few of Helmswoman Tyler’s personal effects.”
Gregory nodded. They didn’t leave until Mary Anne returned but he could not have said what else they had discussed. His wife held him as he shook and tears fell down his face. He felt so guilty that she was here to help him. What kind of world did they live in when his wife had to help him through the grief of his wife’s death? How could he still feel so much love and grief for Jenna when he had promised himself to Mary Anne?
“We need to go tell Jon and Diane,” she said softly.
“And the kids,” he said. “I have to tell them that their mother’s not coming home. Again.”
He slammed his fist down on the coffee table then ran his fingers through his hair.
“I hate this.”
“I know.”
She took him by the hand and led him from the house like a child. He let her, knowing that she was experiencing her own overwhelming emotions, despite never having actually met Jenna. The ride to Jenna’s parents’ house was silent. His children opened the door, knowing that their early arrival meant new news.
“She,” started Greg, shaking his head, “she wasn’t a survivor.” It was easier to say what she wasn’t than to say that Jenna was dead.
Deborah burst into tears but Kenneth just shrugged.
“She was already dead, so it doesn’t matter much any way.”
“Take that back!” shouted Deborah, as she hit her brother. “Take that back!”
“Stop, Deborah, stop,” said Greg as he grabbed her hands. “You know he doesn’t mean it.”
She twisted in his arms, clinging to him as she sobbed.
“It’s not fair,” she kept saying. “It’s not fair.”
“You shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up,” spat Kenneth. He rushed into the house then slammed open the other door to flee into the back yard.
Through the open door, they could hear Jenna’s parents talking from inside the house. Greg passed Deborah off to Mary Anne so that he could go meet them. Diane was already crying. By the time she reached the door, Jon was supporting most of her weight.
“Oh, mum,” said Greg. “Go back in and sit down. There’s nothing else we can do.”
“I just wanted my baby back. I waited for so many years and then finally I thought… but no.”
“I know.”
“I know you do,” she said and clutched his hand. Through the years, she had been extremely supportive of Greg, helping him through the pain and grief of losing Jenna. She took a deep breath to settle herself. “Now, someone should go see to my grandbaby. We’ll be fine here.”
Greg glanced quickly at Mary Anne who was comforting Deborah. She nodded. Jon gave him a gentle shove to his shoulder then began helping Diane back into their living room. Greg made his way through the familiar house, pausing to run his hands over the kitchen table where he had asked Jon for Jenna’s hand in marriage so long ago. When he went into the backyard, Kenneth was sitting in a tree.
“I’m too old to climb up there,” he told his son.
“I don’t want company, anyway.”
“I know you don’t. “ He leaned up against the trunk. A few minutes later, Kenneth jumped down.
“I feel stupid, you know, like I was duped. She was never going to come home and it was dumb to think that she might.”
“It wasn’t dumb, Kenneth. We all hoped for so many years and then to finally have news, it just seemed so promising.”
“You’re just saying that.” Kenneth shoved his hands in his pockets with a scowl. “You have Mary Anne and James now so you didn’t need her.”
“I can’t tell you that I know what I would have done if your mother had been one of the ones to come back. You’re right that it was complicated. But your mother was the love of my life, and however much I love Mary Anne; it never took one iota away from my love for Jenna. I would give anything for her to be alive.” Greg wiped his tears away again, uncomfortable at crying in front of his children.
Kenneth stared at him as though he had never before seen him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I love you, dad.”
“I love you, too. Now let’s go in. You owe your sister an apology and the family needs to be together right now.”
It was another six months before they received a box of her last belongings. They all cried again but this time it felt cleansing. Deborah lovingly unfolded Jenna’s uniforms and caressed the precious few mementos. Kenneth laughed at the anecdotes that could be deciphered from the condolence letters written by her surviving crewmates; they were heavily blackened with censorship strips to protect any classified materials. Greg felt that last piece within him settle again and Mary Anne just smiled. Their family would be fine.
*
Alex Hargrove sat alone that night. His television loomed in the corner of the room, black and silent.
At work the next day, no one spoke to him but everyone watched him. Whispers followed in his wake. People were more interested in staring at his wedding band than meeting his eyes. When his boss brought him into his office and started mumbling things like, “Alexander, I understand how hard this must be for you”; he took the rest of the week off.
He spent his free time cleaning his house. Beth’s pictures were dusted. He pulled out all of her clothes to launder then carefully sorted and shelved them the way she used to like it. For the first time in years, his closet looked full. He thought about making a trip to the grocery store to pick up some of her favorite foods but discarded the idea since he didn’t know when the government would let her come home. Mostly, he sat and thought and fiddled with his wedding ring. People had always told him that he needed to let Beth go but he just couldn’t and now he knew why. She was going to be on the list of survivors. His Beth was coming back to him.
When the military came to his door, there was just a single man and his driver with a black nondescript car. He felt a vicious moment of triumph, remembering when they had brought a whole crowd to tell him of Beth’s “death”.
“Are you Mr. Alexander Hargrove, once married to a Dr. Beth Hargrove?”
“I am Alex Hargrove, current husband of Beth Hargrove,” he said with emphasis.
“Yes, sir,” replied the officer with a brief smile. “I have good news. May I come in?”
“Please.” He led the man into his house. They took a seat at the kitchen table in front of small glasses of chilled water.
“As you have guessed, Mr. Hargrove, your wife Beth is among the survivors that were recently discovered. She is in excellent physical health. Currently, she is being held with the other science staff from the SeaQuest until they have been debriefed and it is safe to release them to the public. We are here to take you to her but first you will have to sign a few confidentiality agreements. When we reach the complex, you and a number of other family members will be briefed on the survivors’ condition and a few details of their experiences. We will also outline what your wife will and will not be allowed to discuss with you. Do you have any questions?”
He shook his head.
“I’ve dealt with enough military bureaucracy over the past ten years to know what to expect. Just give me the papers that I need to sign so we can leave.”
As prepared as he was for moronic military over caution, he raised an eyebrow at the non-disclosure agreements. These were some pretty serious stuff, like conspiracy theory level stuff. Still, he had to sign them to see his wife so sign them he did.
“Do I need to prepare anything?”
“You won’t be returning home for a few days but everything will be provided at the facility.” The officer then stood by the door until Alex was ready to leave. The ride was long. With no watch and the tinted windows obscuring the sun, it was difficult for Alex to judge but it seemed to him that they had travelled for hours when he began to doze. When he awoke, they had finally stopped and he stepped out into crisp morning air.
He was in a courtyard surrounded by steep white stucco walls. An elaborate stone fountain held court in the center. Parked around it on the cobblestone were another six black nondescript cars from which similarly disheveled passengers were emerging. Armed guards stood along the perimeter of the courtyard and in pairs by both exits. A balding man dressed in a lab coat with expensive dress slacks stood beside the lead car with a distinguished but portly military officer.
“If everyone would gather around, we will simply go through a quick security check and then get on with the debriefing,” said the balding man. A murmur of disquiet rustled through the crowd.
Alex hung back until he was last in line. He watched as the people in front of him first went through a metal detector, then an x-ray machine. By the time he passed through, the first ones had been physically patted down and scanned again for who knows what and were now being asked questions. He patiently put up with the treatment knowing that his wife waited at the end.
“They’re clear,” announced another military officer who was completely dressed in black. With this, the first officer disappeared, leaving them with the scientist. The remaining guards herded the group into a lecture hall.
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I am Dr. Everet Lynn. As you all know, the submarine SeaQuest was a duel venture between the military and various science organizations when she disappeared with all hands on deck ten years ago. Now that SeaQuest has been found again, it has been reassigned as solely a military vessel. As such, your loved ones are no longer needed aboard SeaQuest, therefore they will be slowly released back to civilian life as soon as it is safe to do so. Given that many of you have long since moved on with your lives, we recognize that their new civilian life may not include you. You have no legal obligations to any of the survivors. You may back out of meeting with your loved ones or participating in our arrangements at any time. Regardless of which path you choose, you will not be able to discuss anything you learn here today.
“There are a few curious events surrounding the recovery of the SeaQuest and her crew. We have found that for the members of SeaQuest, virtually no time has passed since the SeaQuest disappeared. No one we have questioned knows what happened. They do not know where they were. They do not know what they did. Understandably, this is very traumatic for them. We are currently providing counseling for the members of the science staff. Physically, your loved one will look exactly the same as they did ten years ago. They are under strict medical monitoring to see if their ordeal will have any long term effects, but there may be need for follow-up screenings. When it is time for them to be released, there will be several security measures in place to ensure their anonymity.
“Now I know this is a lot to absorb. Take a minute to think through the implications then we will let you see your loved ones, if you so desire.”
For Alex, there was no question of him wanting to see Beth, but he was struck with a sudden fear that Beth might not want to see him. He had gained weight during the years that she had been gone. He was graying at the temples. The idea, that she could be the same perfect, pristine Beth that he’d lost when he’d been depreciating, was daunting. He had never quite understood how Beth could have loved him as much as she had, so what did he have to offer her now? But at least he would have the chance to see her and hear her voice again before she asked him to leave.
A few people approached Dr. Lynn and were soon escorted from the room. The rest were led through narrow hallways until they reached a series of doors. Alex was pointed towards the third door from the left. With trepidation, he opened the door.
Inside sat Beth. She was perched on the edge of a metal stool with her elbows resting on the table. Her hair was a bit stringy and there were bags under her eyes. Her skin was pale beneath the bright florescent lights of the office. Alex had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Then her expression changed and she was staring at him with a look of horror.
“They told me it had been ten years; I didn’t believe them. It was just so impossible and their evidence so easy to hoax, but you, I almost didn’t recognize you. Oh my god, I’ve lost a decade of my life.”
“I knew that I would be a disappointment.” He began to weep. “I waited. I waited for you. I can’t believe you came back. I’m so glad you came back even though you don’t want me.”
Beth wrapped her frail arms around his shoulders. He startled, surprised that she could bring herself to touch him.
“I’m so sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to leave you for so long. My poor, precious Alex, I could never be disappointed in you.”
He looked up at her and smiled tentatively, worried that she was just placating him.
“I love you,” he said with every fiber of his being, because even if she never managed to love him back again, it was important to him that she knew.
“It doesn’t bother you that I’m now fifteen years younger than you?” She pulled at her sweater nervously.
“You’re perfect,” he said with conviction. “I will always love you. Do you…do you think you could get used to the new me?”
“I love everything about you that matters and I’ll love the new things about you, too.”
“Okay,” said Alex, willing to take her at her word. “I’m so glad you’re home; everything’s going to be perfect.”
“We still have a lot of things to work out, sweetheart. If I’ve missed ten years, I’m going to have to make so many adjustments.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “As long as we’re together, we can handle everything else.”
She still looked serious but Alex could not help smiling.
“I don’t know when they’re going to let us go free. They may never let us go free. We’re freaks of science and a horrible security risk. Are you willing to wait?”
Alex laughed.
“Beth, I’m good at waiting.”
“Yeah,” she smiled at him with tears in her eyes, “I guess you are.”
*
“Deshawn?” asked Elia, as she returned home from shopping. She found him starring at the blank television screen.
“They found the SeaQuest. Kimberly might be alive.”
“Oh,” she said, and sat heavily on the couch. “That’s just… I mean… wow…it’s just…”
“Yeah,” he said. “I know.” He shook his head. “Alia keeps asking what’s wrong and I don’t know where to start. We don’t even know anything and I can’t think.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Nothing. This changes nothing.” He got up and left the room.
The next few days passed in a series of awkward silences. When his wife tried to question him about his first wife, he ignored her or changed the subject. Co-workers at work were afraid to approach him. Elia’s friends kept the phone ringing as they tried to find out news or comfort Elia or do whatever women did when one of them was out of sorts.
Deshawn just felt numb. Losing Kimberly had been the most difficult thing he had ever been through. There were no answers, just his life being senselessly ripped apart. In some ways, learning that she was alive felt the same way. He had healed. He thought of her fondly and sadly but she wasn’t a gaping hole in his life the way she had been right after the disappearance. Meeting Elia, who was the brightest ray of sunshine he had ever met, was the last step to putting Kimberly behind him. And now Kimberly was back threatening his life with Elia. Part of him was angry at her for not staying properly dead and what kind of a horrible of a person did that make him? So he avoided Elia, who made him feel guilty, and any mention of Kimberly or SeaQuest and put his focus on his daughter, Alia.
When a Commander and a Lieutenant appeared in full uniform on his front doorstep, Deshawn was tempted to slam the door on them. Instead, he invited them into his home, telling Elia to take Alia outside to play.
“Your wife, Petty Officer Kimberly Mason, was one of the crewmembers to be recovered with the SeaQuest. “
“Ex-wife,” he said, rubbing his wedding band.
“The United Earth Organization has decided to regard the marital status of all survivors as a legal gray area. Marriages that occurred after the parties were declared deceased are, of course, still recognized; however, your marriage to Petty Officer Mason is also still legal. Technically both are your wives.”
“So now I’m a bigamist,” he said sarcastically. “Great.”
“Not at all, Mr. Mason. We are simply in a very unusual legal position. Should you choose to remain with your current wife, you will not need to divorce Petty Officer Mason. There will be a few simple forms to fill out either way. You have up to two years to make your decision.”
“Why so long?”
“SeaQuests capabilities are necessary for the protection of world freedoms. Unfortunately, only her current crew has the talent and training to harness those capabilities. It will be another year to six months before the situation stabilizes enough that any of the crew can be released on long term leave. As it stands, their current status is highly classified and it will be several months before you or anyone else can even contact a member of the SeaQuest crew. They are being kept with minimum contact and exposure to the current world climate for their own protection.”
“Typical. They get to fight for our freedom but get none for themselves. Is it even safe for her to fight? What happened to them? How are they coping?”
“I’m afraid that all information pertaining to SeaQuest is classified. We are only cleared to release the living status of the crewmembers. Rest assured, that you will be told more before you are reintroduced to your wife.”
“Six months to a year from now.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I wish I had better news. You can write to her.” He placed a business card on the table. “It will be screened; of course, as will any of her replies, but anything sent to this address will eventually reach SeaQuest.”
“Thank you, so much,” he said sarcastically. “I think, perhaps, it is time for you to leave.”
“One last thing,” said the Lieutenant. “If you need anything, a support group has been set-up to help all of the SeaQuest families. We have counselors and other services waiting to help you.” He handed over several sheets of paper.
“Well,” asked Elia. She had come back inside when she heard the car leave. Deshawn was still standing in the middle of the living room.
“Kim’s alive.”
“Okay, are we going to discuss what this means now?”
“There’s nothing to discuss.”
“The hell there’s not!” she shouted. “I have waited patiently for you because I know this whole situation is awful, but now you need to man up. You can’t just ignore this.”
“Mommy?” asked Alia, uncertainly from the doorway.
“We’ll discuss this later, Deshawn, but we are discussing this.”
She picked up her daughter and left the room. Deshawn sat on the couch with his head in his hands. The rest of the night passed in a frosty silence. It wasn’t until late that night when they were lying in bed starring at the ceiling that Elia finally spoke to him.
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
Deshawn sighed, knowing that he could not avoid it any longer.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You worry me, sometimes.” She traced the scar on his wrist from where he punched a wall after the death of Alia’s baby sister. Deshawn took her meaning: he didn’t deal the best with grief or complex emotion.
“I know. I don’t mean to be like this.”
“I’m just so afraid that I’m going to lose you,” admitted Elia.
Deshawn rolled over in bed and took her hand.
“You’re not going to lose me. We have been dating for seven years. Our daughter is five years old. We’ve been married for three years. This is our life; Kimberly doesn’t have a place here anymore. “
“But she’s alive and you loved her so much. She was practically all you talked about when we first met.” She wiped tears from her eyes.
“But I mourned her and let her go. I haven’t seen her in ten years; she’s a stranger. I don’t want to go back to the past. I don’t want to learn to love her again. I don’t care what the UEO says, we’re not married any more; I’m married to you. I love you. I’ll contact a lawyer to make sure that Kimberly gets everything she would have gotten if we’d divorced but that’s it.”
“God, I just feel so bad for her and so guilty. She goes off to war and suffers who knows what kinds of horrors and I steal her man. I know I’m a horrible person because I should give you back to her but I can’t. I love you.”
“Elia, Elia.” He held her close and gently rubbed her back. “You’re not a horrible person. No one could have imagined this situation and I don’t know how to deal with it but I’m not giving up you or Alia.”
“Will you at least contact Kimberly?”
“I don’t really see the point, other than to inform her of the results from the lawyer.” Deshawn just didn’t think it would be fair on anyone to maintain contact with Kimberly.
“I can’t imagine what she must be going through right now. You were her best friend and she was yours. I don’t want you to punish her or to regret how you handled this.”
“You’re a brave, brave woman, Mrs. Mason, and you’re right, but would it really be fair to you or to her?”
Elia leaned over and kissed him gently.
“I’m not going to be jealous as long as you are open with me. We can even go see her together if you would prefer.”
“They’re not letting me see her,” admitted Deshawn. “She’s still in the service, on duty no less.”
“Those heartless bastards! She’s been missing for ten years. They should let her go home and be reunited with her family.” She clutched him tight. “I am so glad you decided against reenlisting.”
“It’s not really surprising; we’re not people to the UEO and they’re desperate.”
“It’s still wrong. How am I supposed to get you to reconnect with Kimberly when she’s half a world away?”
“We can write letters but they’ll be delayed and screened and censored.”
“Bastards,” she muttered again. “All right, so the first thing to do is to write a letter letting Kimberly know that she’s still important to you but that you’ve remarried and have a family. Do you think you can do that?”
Deshawn smiled at his wife.
“I don’t think I have a choice.”
“You don’t,” replied Elia, with a smile. Deshawn was reminded of all the reasons he had married the woman in the first place. “I’m not going to let you abandon the poor woman, but you’re mine now. She’ll just have to be family.”
“I love you,” said Deshawn.
“I know.”
“No, I’m serious. This whole situation has been twisting inside me. Nothing I did was going to be the right thing, but you just laid everything out as pretty as can be. You make me think that maybe things can work. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. Now go to sleep.”
And Deshawn did, thankful that he had such a wonderful family.
*
He met the other two men as usual at the Remembrance Memorial. Like him, each was dressed in immaculate navy blue suits. He shook their hands, murmuring quiet greetings. Everything was the same as last year, but looking into their eyes, he knew that everything had changed. No one spoke as they placed their flowers on the granite steps. The very thing that had united them now made them different. He wouldn’t be returning next year.