I wish I could go back to nursing school...
I made a colassal (not sure if i spelled that right) mistake on dropping out of nursing school in 2007. Looking back in it and reflecting is what this is about...
For the first time in my life, I had direction. I finally realized I had the "one" and life was going pretty well. I wasnt skipping classes because of my rationale that i will make it up and what not. I was going to class, I was doing my homework. I did all the work to get into nursing school and after I got my admission letter into the CCM nursing program, that was it. I was finally starting my life. I was getting into a career that I could bring with me anywhere.
After a few months in the nursing program I did it again. My "rationale" kicked in because I thought I already knew what was being taught. I was the "hotshot" know it all when it came to labs and medications. I was in the Student Nurse Association. I was in charge of taping all of the lectures and putting them up on podcasts so the entire nursing school could listen to them. A lot people were depending on me to do that.
I stopped going to lectures. I stopped going to labs. I stopped going to clinicals. Looking back I do not even really remember the reason why I stopped. I think it was that I was scared. I am always getting scared of finishing something when I am in school. I have had so many different thoughts of majors...Math teacher, History teacher, Pharmacist, Theatre, Nursing....so many and you know the crappy thing. I could have been a Nurse, Pharmacist and teacher all by now...but instead, I basically am nothing. I have next to no solid credentials. All of my friends are either in Grad school, PhD, or well everywhere that I am not and I hate it.
I have such a problem that I do not know what to do about it. A small part of me wonders if Kenny "followed" me out here because he wants me to finally do something with me life. If I quit now, I know I will let him down. I feel like I am stringing him along and if I quit he will leave me. I know he loves me, and I love him soo much that I owe him to finish something. He has been so freaking patient with me to get on with my life.
I keep on with my "rationale" now with going back to Nursing and here it is....I know healthcare, I know more than most people going into it right now. Some are CNAs, but I have the harder aspect down then they do in my opinion.
I think I want to apply to Pima Medical Institute for their RN program. I figure I can invest 2 years of my life rather than 3-4 now and go to school. Kenny I think would go for that. The harder thing right now is how do I tell Kenny. He has heard the "I think I want to major in _______" speech so many times. He always said he would support me in anything. I think it is getting old. I dont think he will always want to say that. I think he would start to get FED UP with me and my growing student loans and nothing to show for it.
In short...here is what I want to do in the next few days...
1.) Contact PMI to talk abou their nursing program and check to see if certain prereqs transfer
2.) Talk to Kenny (tomorrow night) without roommate present. I will not want her in the room when we talk...She has an opinion about everything.
I could miss my PreCalc class tomorrow.....I do not need PreCalc for a nursing degree...This will be my 3rd missed PreCalc class.
Say for instance that I DO get into the nursing program at PMI, but it does not start until the fall. I will still go to PCC to get the x amount of credits I need to have an associates. I feel I need to do that...
Thanks for reading....
Wish me luck...
For the first time in my life, I had direction. I finally realized I had the "one" and life was going pretty well. I wasnt skipping classes because of my rationale that i will make it up and what not. I was going to class, I was doing my homework. I did all the work to get into nursing school and after I got my admission letter into the CCM nursing program, that was it. I was finally starting my life. I was getting into a career that I could bring with me anywhere.
After a few months in the nursing program I did it again. My "rationale" kicked in because I thought I already knew what was being taught. I was the "hotshot" know it all when it came to labs and medications. I was in the Student Nurse Association. I was in charge of taping all of the lectures and putting them up on podcasts so the entire nursing school could listen to them. A lot people were depending on me to do that.
I stopped going to lectures. I stopped going to labs. I stopped going to clinicals. Looking back I do not even really remember the reason why I stopped. I think it was that I was scared. I am always getting scared of finishing something when I am in school. I have had so many different thoughts of majors...Math teacher, History teacher, Pharmacist, Theatre, Nursing....so many and you know the crappy thing. I could have been a Nurse, Pharmacist and teacher all by now...but instead, I basically am nothing. I have next to no solid credentials. All of my friends are either in Grad school, PhD, or well everywhere that I am not and I hate it.
I have such a problem that I do not know what to do about it. A small part of me wonders if Kenny "followed" me out here because he wants me to finally do something with me life. If I quit now, I know I will let him down. I feel like I am stringing him along and if I quit he will leave me. I know he loves me, and I love him soo much that I owe him to finish something. He has been so freaking patient with me to get on with my life.
I keep on with my "rationale" now with going back to Nursing and here it is....I know healthcare, I know more than most people going into it right now. Some are CNAs, but I have the harder aspect down then they do in my opinion.
I think I want to apply to Pima Medical Institute for their RN program. I figure I can invest 2 years of my life rather than 3-4 now and go to school. Kenny I think would go for that. The harder thing right now is how do I tell Kenny. He has heard the "I think I want to major in _______" speech so many times. He always said he would support me in anything. I think it is getting old. I dont think he will always want to say that. I think he would start to get FED UP with me and my growing student loans and nothing to show for it.
In short...here is what I want to do in the next few days...
1.) Contact PMI to talk abou their nursing program and check to see if certain prereqs transfer
2.) Talk to Kenny (tomorrow night) without roommate present. I will not want her in the room when we talk...She has an opinion about everything.
I could miss my PreCalc class tomorrow.....I do not need PreCalc for a nursing degree...This will be my 3rd missed PreCalc class.
Say for instance that I DO get into the nursing program at PMI, but it does not start until the fall. I will still go to PCC to get the x amount of credits I need to have an associates. I feel I need to do that...
Thanks for reading....
Wish me luck...