Morning Hush AoixKai Oneshot
Title: Morning Hush
Inspiration I Am A Thousand Winds by Author Unknown http://seannabirchwood.deviantart.com/journal/27719291/
Chapter one shot
Author: SeannaBirchwood.livejournal.com
Genre: "fanfiction", fiction, shounen-ai (Maybe, maybe its actually yaoi, I'm not sure about that for this one)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: alcohol, sexual references between two or more males, character death, bad language
Band: the GazettE
Characters: Uruha, Aoi, Ruki, Kai, Reita [the GazettE]
Pairings AoixKai, ReitaxUruhaxRuki
Pages: 13
Words: 6,210
Summary: Kai and Aoi are about to celebrate Kai's birthday and Uruha, Ruki, and Reita are out for a night of fun.
disclaimer: just using the names, the personalities and story are all mine.This is a work of fiction, any connections between real life people, places, or events are entirely coincidental
Author's Note: Do I have to say what this was about? I don't think I need to preach to anyone in this day and age. Don't be stupid. You could kill j-rockers!
and the rest of my stories here:
http://seannabirchwood.deviantart.com/journal/27719349/
The apartment was silent when Kai arrived home from his part-time job at the nearby car dealership. It did not strike him as odd at first, but he gradually began noticing signs of Aoi not being home at all-nothing was immaculately clean, there were things missing or out of place. He stooped to right a couch cushion and smiled at bit when he realised Aoi’s perfectionism was really beginning to rub off on him, even though it had only been about two years since they moved in together. Squinting in the darkness, he made his way to the kitchen where the only light in the apartment was curiously on.
As he reached the door, Aoi appeared, startling the absolute wits from Kai, who stumbled and almost fell backwards-would have fallen backwards if Aoi had not caught him in fairly strong arms. Kai stared up at those keyed up blue eyes.
“Happy Birthday! Whoa, you alright?” Aoi laughed as he held him upright. “Did I scare you?”
“Of course you did!” Kai himself was laughing; it was easy to startle him, but it was always hard to actually scare him. “Wait a second, did you say-”
Aoi chuckled and hugged him close. “You forgot again, didn’t you? How many years in a row is this? I only know of two.”
“Usually my mom reminded me,” Kai scowled at being made fun of. Everyone knew he had a hard time remembering things, why would his birthday be any different? The scowl quickly melted away into a smile at the excitement written all over Aoi’s face. “What’s up?”
“Well, about two months ago I managed to book us seats for Aogawa’s finest cuisine: Les Délicieux.” Aoi giggled, “it’s a moronic name, right?”
“You got us seats at the ritziest restaurant in town?!” Kai shouted, “How’d you keep that in for two months?!” Kai could just envision Aoi frantically talking about every other topic under the sun and the moon to keep himself from telling Kai something so important-and when Kai thought back on the last two months, Aoi had been extremely talkative.
Aoi was positively beaming by now. “Your present’s on the kitchen table, by the way.”
“What could you have gotten me to top Les Délicieux? And while I’m on that topic, you’re not paying for the whole thing.” Kai declared while trying to peek over Aoi’s shoulder at the kitchen table.
“Yes I am, just try and stop me.” Aoi told him and kissed the top of his head lightly before letting him go to the kitchen table.
Kai knew very well he would not be able to stop Aoi from paying and so his face heated. “You spend way too much on me.”
“I love you,” Aoi answered as if that were the answer to all things.
“I love you, too,” Kai flashed a smile at him before turning his attention on the large box sitting on the kitchen table. He loved getting presents, but it was a bittersweet kind of deal, since he barely had the money to return gifts to those who bought for him, and he hated to receive and not give. The present was light blue with a crazy amount of dark blue ribbons and painstakingly-placed contrasting red hearts. Somehow, it looked good. It also explained why the apartment was in a crisis-style state of disrepair: Aoi had been working on the wrappings all day. “What the hell…”
“You’ll never know until you open it.” Aoi giggled and came up behind him, encircling Kai’s waist gently with his warm arms. There was a small grin on his face.
Kai looked up at him for a moment. “You covered the thing in tape, didn’t you?”
Aoi smiled knowingly. “Those nails of yours have better uses than clawing at my back.”
Huffing, Kai replied, “I don’t have nails,” and tore into the box.
When he got it open, he pulled out tendrils of blue wax paper to reveal a second smaller box that was decorated exactly the same as the first, except that it was all hues of pink with red hearts. Kai had a feeling he knew where this was going, but Aoi made no motion to stop him as he tore into the pink box, revealing a smaller green box and so on through about three different colours, until all that remained in a mess of wrappings and frills was a velvet red box the size and shape of a ring container.
“Aoi,” Kai breathed.
His black haired boyfriend kissed his neck lightly. “Don’t assume until you know, you know what assuming does.”
“Assuming makes an ass of you and me.” Kai chanted and opened the box that had his brown-eyed gaze fixed upon it. Behind him he could imagine Aoi’s bright blue ones dancing in delight. “Aoi,” he breathed again.
“It’s a promise,” Aoi explained softly. Kai could practically feel the love dripping from his voice as he held Kai close to him. “For when we’re done university. I want to marry you, Kai.”
Kai managed to tear his eyes away from the elegant silver band with its delicate and ornate carvings to return Aoi’s hug and capture his lips in a brief but passionate kiss. Only Aoi would manage to find a promise ring that looked so expensive-and probably made a fair dent in his savings too-but Kai had to admit it was now the most gorgeous thing he owned. Then he remembered that there was something he should be saying.
He pulled away from their kiss slowly, “I want to marry you, too, Aoi.” His cheeks were on their way to becoming a permanent rosy hue when he thought about how possible a marriage could be between them.
Aoi hugged him close, vibrating with happiness but for once not jumping around with the excitement Kai could feel practically pulsing through his skin. Maybe in two years marriage might be possible, but with the government changing continuously, Kai seriously doubted there would ever be a change in the union-between-two-people policy. He bit his lip: they could hope, right? There was no one more perfect for him than Aoi; it sounded corny but it was true. Where Kai could not remember his own birthday, Aoi could remember everything anyone ever needed to know without a fault, where Kai could cook amazingly, Aoi knew all the best places in the city to eat, and their character traits went on like that miles.
*
Uruha’s favourite thing to do was party. He loved the blaring music that left one feeling deaf for several days, he loved the certain smell people only produced when they were dancing, and he loved the dazed condition he put himself in whenever he drank. Alcohol and dancing and music were the tools he used to make himself feel invincible and they worked together harmoniously. So on a Friday night with nothing better to do, he called up two of his best friends and planned a night out on the town.
He did not consider himself a meticulous person, but he made sure that the more important parts of his rather effeminate hair were in order and he applied so conservative makeup around his narrow eyes to make them appear wider. After that he adorned some jewellery that matched his liberal outfit-a short skirt over black bondage pants with three inches of fabric cut away revealing his creamy thighs and a white lacy t-shirt covered with black and red designs and that meshed into a corset-like pattern in the back. Uruha dressed like this often when he was with his friends and was feeling less shy. Not that he felt shy often when he was around people that he knew.
On his dresser his phone began to buzz, so he flipped it open and scanned the text that appeared for him. Ruki, one of his two closest friends, had grabbed a taxi and would be outside in a few short minutes. Instead of replying, Uruha grabbed a bottle, his wallet, and some extra change and stuffed them into the deep pockets in his bondage pants. He then slipped his cell into an empty pocket, turned his lights off, and ran off down the hall to the stairs-too much in a hurry to take the elevator or to lock his door.
Outside in a white and blue taxi with a glowing orange sign on the top was Ruki, glaring impatiently at Uruha’s apartment building. Ruki had actually forgotten his natural hair colour a long while ago and had no pre-graduation pictures to remind him, but currently sported a head of bright, flashy blonde. When he caught sight of Uruha trotting towards them his glare softened and he grinned, absentmindedly toying with the weight hanging from the tunnel in his left ear. The man had really worked hard to impress him-or so it seemed-and Ruki was impressed. He loved the shape of Uruha’s body, loved the colour of his skin, and the sounds the sandy brunette made when Ruki teased him.
Uruha waited as the automatic door opened and sat down next to him. “Sorry I made you wait,” he apologized quietly, though not sounding too apologetic.
“It’s alright,” Ruki shrugged a little before the light of the taxi flicked off. Something had caught his eye and so he reached up to brush away Uruha’s hair and smiled. Placing his hand on Uruha’s shoulder, who was pleasantly relaxed with his friend touching him, Ruki leaned in and bit the brunette’s earlobe. “New piercing?” He asked while Uruha shivered a little.
“Sorta,” Uruha managed to reply.
“So that hurt?” Ruki questioned before nipping at it again.
“A little,” but the look on Uruha’s face told him it felt just as good as it hurt.
Ruki grinned and sat back. “You won’t feel it once we get started.”
“Probably not,” Uruha smiled at him before looking out the front window. “Are we picking up Reita?”
“No, he’s going to meet us at the club. Where’re we going afterwards?” Ruki wanted to know and kept his eyes on Uruha.
Uruha shifted and Ruki understood that he was the slightest bit uncomfortable with the way Ruki was staring at him. “Umm, probably Reita’s, I think his couch is the softest.”
“Alright,” Ruki feigned indifference, but he was starting to notice that Uruha was spending a little too much time with Reita, and tonight he planned to put a stop to that.
*
Aoi did not think that Kai would ever fall for him the way that the small brunette obviously had. They had met during high school, but it was not until university that they really started talking, and Aoi had realised right away that he loved how his friend-and now lover-thought. He had new ways of thinking about almost everything and no matter what, Aoi always found himself amazed at the thoughts that Kai would have-and then forget. At first he had thought that it was incredibly unfair, how Kai could be so smart and understand so much of their lessons, only to make meagre grades on tests and exams because he simply could not remember it, but memory was not overly important to Kai. Sure, he would never be able to remember Aoi’s birthday, but that did not mean that Aoi would go with love or gifts, it just meant that they would come at infrequent intervals and surprise him. He kept them living vigorously in the present when, before Kai, Aoi had so often dwelled in the past.
At first, Kai had been the most innocent thing in the world. When Aoi held his hand, the man would blush-which was endearing, but sometimes annoying. Now, when they walked into the restaurant together, Kai was holding his arm as if he would never let Aoi go, and Aoi was sure that if Kai had the choice, he would always choose Aoi. It brought an incredible smile to Aoi’s face that rarely left; Kai’s affections and small gestures could make him so immeasurably happy he was sure passers-by thought he was insane with the way he was also smiling.
They sat down together and Kai began showing one of the character traits that the two of them unpleasantly shared.
“Okay, order anything you want,” Aoi smiled; they had their legs folded under the table while they scanned the menus.
“What about this?” Kai questioned and pointed to something on the first few pages.
“Kai, that’s the cheapest thing on the menu.” Aoi replied flatly.
“No, it’s not.” Kai answered and looked up at him with a smile. Aoi was not going to fall for the smile, not again.
Both Aoi and Kai were incredibly stubborn in incredibly different ways, but it led to the same thing: decision making was usually impossible.
“Kai, it’s your birthday. I know what food you like; do I really have to order for you?” Aoi arched an eyebrow and tried to keep his victory smile off of his face. Once it was ordered, Kai would eat it whether he wanted it or not because Kai detested when food was wasted.
“If I order what I want, you have to, too,” Kai mumbled and looked back the menu.
Aoi blinked: it was impossible to believe he had won that easily. He probably has something in mind to win with later, Aoi thought. That was Kai’s usual routine if he let Aoi win something so easily. “Kai, baby, I like treating myself, of course I’m going to order what I like.”
Kai relaxed and flashed him the prettiest smile of the night, second only of course to the one right after he had seen the ring, the same ring that was now glinting off of his left ring-finger. Aoi had tried to convince him that that finger was supposed to be reserved for the wedding ring, but Kai had won that little dispute by saying that in his mind it was a wedding ring. Aoi had sighed and smiled a little: wait until Kai saw the wedding rings that Aoi had been browsing through in his off-time, that silly silver band looked immensely dull in comparison!
“So, what are you thinking about eating?” Aoi wanted to know. He had figured out what he himself was buying before they had even arrived at the restaurant, which had its menu online to help attract customers to its pricey-and usually packed full with business men-set up.
“I can’t pronounce it, I think it’s supposed to be Italian,” Kai showed him the object in question. “And a chocolate shake.”
Aoi giggled. “You’re at the best restaurant in the country, and you want to drink a chocolate shake?”
Kai frowned indignantly. “You told me to order what I want, and I want a chocolate shake. So there,” and he pouted like a child for a bit while Aoi laughed.
“Okay, okay, okay, you can stop giving me that look anytime, you know.” He flagged the waiter down and ordered their meals. “And a bottle of uh this champagne,” Aoi pointed at the word. Where he could even speak a little Italian, French pronunciation continued to elude him.
The waiter looked at them strangely before he floated off to place their orders. Kai smiled sweetly at him. Aoi felt his own cheeks starting to burn. Besides the wine, only one drink had been ordered at Kai’s request, and Aoi could not wait until they could share a first-class chocolate shake together. He wondered if it would bring about the same type of euphoria as doing certain other things together, like unmaking Kai’s bed.
*
Reita watched as his two friends approached; Uruha already seemed tipsy but he knew that was Ruki interfering with his walk. The air was starting to cool as early autumn really began to set in and Reita found it quite refreshing compared to the summer heat. He breathed in deeply before dropping and grinding his cigarette into the ground.
“You two took forever,” he announced quietly and smiled a little. He did not mind waiting; in fact he had left a little early so he could enjoy some quiet in the dark before going into the brightly lit and crowded club.
“Yeah whatever, fuck you,” Ruki replied in his usual cranky style.
Uruha smiled. “Ruki’s kind of impatient with that part,” and Reita closed the eye closest to the cheek where Uruha placed a quick kiss, “Let’s dance.”
“Dancing is all our little Uruha can think about,” Ruki chuckled, not seeming to mind the dig at his incredible sex-drive.
“We’ll never change, will we?” Reita asked while laughing a little. He followed Uruha into the club.
“Nope, did you bring your car? Taxi’s are starting to get fucking expensive.” Ruki jumped up on Reita’s back and held on as Reita submerged into the crowd, trying to follow their more agile friend.
“I brought my car, don’t worry. Hey Uruha! Wait up,” Reita called and shoved a half dressed, barely sober girl out of his way. “Why can’t we have our own party at home?” He grumbled uselessly. Uruha and Ruki seemed to be fascinated with the amount of people a building could hold and still have dancing room.
Uruha turned and waited with a glowing expression on his face. When Reita reached him, he grabbed out and held him close, forcing the fair-haired brunette into a startlingly hungry kiss. He felt Ruki tense with excitement on his back and knew the three of them would be in for an awesome night. They just had to appease Uruha’s almost insatiable appetite for clubbing first, without exhausting themselves.
“I guess you’re impatient too,” Uruha smirked a little and vanished into the crowds of people.
*
The chocolate shake was not a three dollar chocolate shake and looked better than what fifteen dollars demanded in a chocolate shake. After they finished their meal, Aoi ordered a dessert before Kai could protest or even mention how full he was. During the wait, Kai spent his time alternately between pretending to ignore Aoi and glaring at Aoi in a playful manner, which got giggles coming from the other man.
He stopped immediately when the dessert arrived. If Kai’s eyes had taste sensors, he would have been able to taste the chocolate, whip cream, cake, ice cream concoction of a dessert with his eyes. Aoi passed him a dessert fork and the next few moments passed in silence as they thoughtfully digested their first bite.
Kai moaned quietly as he swallowed, which sent a red blush flaming along Aoi’s cheeks. “That’s amazing.”
“It’s going to kill our stomachs to finish it,” Aoi agreed solemnly.
The look on Aoi’s face told Kai that no matter the consequence, Aoi was just as prepared to finish the massive, gut-destroying dessert as Kai was.
“Let’s do it.” Kai affirmed and the two began to delve into the most delicious, most chocolaty thing they had ever seen, let alone tasted.
It was moments like these where Kai knew Aoi would be the only one for him, no matter what. And now he could be sure, he thought as he looked down at the promise ring. Even though it would feel like a long time, university would soon be over and then they could start planning it. Kai was sure there was a way to get around the laws; somehow, they just had to look hard enough.
*
Uruha shot something that tasted mildly of vanilla and swayed out onto the floor. His vision was doing fairly well compared to normal, but he was still finding it a touch difficult to navigate the slowly-emptying dance floor of the club. Reita steadied him, though his red face betrayed his seemingly-non-tipsy-ness and brought him in close for an almost smothering kiss. He felt Ruki’s strong fingers pinch his backside and suddenly he had the strongest urge to head to Reita’s early.
“I think I’ve danced enough,” he announced as Reita released his mouth. “Can we head home? I’m kinda tired.”
“Sure you are,” Ruki smirked.
Reita looked at the two of them. “So who’s driving?”
Uruha watched as Ruki narrowed his eyes and said, “I think Uruha should drive. That way I know you aren’t doing anything to him in the back seat.”
Arching an eyebrow, Reita merely nodded. He was not about to argue with Ruki, and besides, they could do a lot to Uruha while they were sitting in the back. The twenty minutes home were sure to be full of exciting moments.
“Alright,” Uruha agreed and slipped away from them toward the exit and the parking lot. He had been looking forward to nestling up with Reita while Ruki drove, but he was mature enough to let Ruki’s apparent jealousy slide. At least he knew that they would get home safely with himself at the wheel, no one was a better driver than Uruha.
Which was exactly why he did not have his license.
*
Kai leaned on Aoi’s arm as they walked toward Aoi’s car. From the bottle of wine, he had had a few glasses, but he made sure-since Aoi had vehemently volunteered to be driver-that Aoi had not had any and they packed the bottle up for home usage. He had never been able to hold his alcohol well, but Aoi’s arm made what would have been a difficult, bumping-into-parked-cars walk an enjoyable one.
Aoi stopped them and leaned against his car, holding Kai close to him and stared up at the black expansive sky. The so many millions of stars were blocked out by the city’s powerful lights and air pollution, so only the moon provided a break in the charcoal sea above them. Kai smiled up at him, feeling a little buzzed from the wine and fully content with life. Aoi returned his smile and whispered softly to him all the promises under the moon, which brought bigger and happier smiles to Kai’s face. It was one of the biggest clichés of all, one that was not supposed to happen in real life, but Kai was beginning to think they would have a happy ending, when so many others did not. His heart was full and there was no possible way he could ever be any happier than he was at that moment.
Black bangs tickled his nose as Aoi leaned in and kissed him languidly; they had all the time in the world.
*
Uruha hummed softly to a song on the radio and gave his best effort at ignoring Ruki and Reita’s comments about his body or about what they were going to do to it. He had to pay attention to the road and if they kept their comments up it would become harder and harder for him to do that. Headlights whizzed by and he blinked to clear the bright coloured dots that appeared in his vision. Where was the yellow line?
When he had located it again, he drove as close as he could to it without actually setting a tire upon it. This would be the way they avoided police detection, or so he hoped. In his mind, they were driving in a fairly straight line and he was doing rather well, which made him proud. He had watched the other two drive enough times that he was positive he could do it too, without ever having to get an actual license. Who would card him? He was old enough and looked old enough to have one.
Suddenly he felt warm hands gently caressing his thighs, but he did not let himself look down as fingernails scratched at the bare skin where the sections of his pants were missing. He had to keep his attention on the road. Uruha bit his lip and stared at the yellow line while gripping the steering wheel tightly as one of the hands began squeezing him through his bondage pants. A quietly pleased whimper escaped his throat and he clutched the wheel tighter.
“He’s so cute, don’t you think?” Ruki’s voice was incredibly close to his ear for the blonde having been sitting in the backseat.
“If I didn’t think so, the three of us wouldn’t be heading to my apartment, Ruki,” Reita yawned and squeezed Uruha harder.
Uruha, unable to control himself, pressed upwards against Reita’s hand. Ruki was nibbling on his neck with his body half in the front of the car. “Nnn, stop,” Uruha groaned.
Reita seemed to decide to do the opposite and Uruha felt his zipper being tugged down. One of Ruki’s hands pinched at his sensitive nipples-or was it Reita’s other hand? Uruha twisted to try and get away from them, but the seatbelt held him in firmly with that incredibly annoying locking-feature. He took one of his hands off of the steering wheel to engage Reita’s hands in a war over his zipper.
“I said stop it!” Uruha growled. “I’m driving!”
“Uruha, what the hell are you doing?” Ruki snapped as he looked up from the light-haired brunette’s delicate neck. “Look at the road, moron!”
“It’s kinda hard when the two of you are-” Uruha looked up and headlights were blinding him. In the distance, he seemed to catch startled eyes before a loud shattering sound cut off the rest of his words and no matter how hard he tried, he could not control the car as it rolled upside down off of the road.
*
Aoi was driving roughly the speed limit as he headed toward Kai’s and his apartment, which was a new thing for him-usually Aoi drove about forty kilometres above the speed limit. He was taking special care because Kai was with him and because it was dark, and the slower that they went the more time they had to talk in the car, which was the place that Aoi had always preferred to talk in above everywhere else.
He bent down to give Kai’s head a quick peck before turning his attention on the road. Ahead of them, some idiot was zipping along faster than the speed limit; a thing Aoi realised was annoying when everyone else was obeying the law. Rolling his eyes, he sped up a little; maybe it was for the best that they get home quicker. Kai seemed to be a little tired anyway.
“Whoa, Aoi, that guy is all over the road!” Kai declared and gripped Aoi’s sleeve quickly.
When Aoi checked the advancing vehicle again, he noticed how the headlights were swaying. Biting his lip, he slowed down and moved as close as he could to the sidewalk lip, which rose up into a gate to protect pedestrians as they walked. “We’re fine, he’s staying on that side.”
Kai looked at him. “I know, I can see, it’s just freaky is all-”
Aoi saw his opening and pushed the car up onto the sidewalk where the fence disappeared into a small bridge just as the other driver crossed the road with a sharp jerk, plunging into them. Kai shrieked as the car upended itself, crunching through the gate of the bridge and rolling down the embankment and showering them with windshield glass and car-door-window glass and then rocks and garbage and finally drops of water.
Hanging upside down by his seatbelt and held in place by the airbag, Aoi desperately tried to get his bearings in the dark. His headlights had been totalled, but somehow the blue and green lights on the dashboard still shone dully. Aoi could not focus on them and the gourmet food in his stomach threatened to spill out from the shock and the pain in his legs. Slowly, he looked over at Kai, whose eyes were wide open and scanning the front of the car like he was, but unlike him Kai seemed immeasurably calm.
“You alright?” Kai murmured when he noticed Aoi’s eyes on him. There were stains on his face that Aoi could not make out.
“I’m fine,” Aoi whispered, though he was incredibly sore and was sure he felt blood running up from his legs, which were pinned by the collapsed driver’s side door and broken something else that Aoi could not see but felt. “You?”
“I’m okay, not hurt or anything.” Kai replied and gave him a small smile.
Feeling reassured, Aoi reached down to unbuckle his seatbelt. Below him, he could hear water trickling through the holes of the roof and windows. It was only a tiny stream bed that the city had fixed up to look nice and so the water was not deep at all, but the sound of it was stressing what was left of Aoi’s nerves. From a distance he could hear the ambulance sirens wailing, so he stalled his hands. If he was hurt badly, or Kai was hurt badly, and they started to move before the ambulance came, they could make their injuries worse, right?
Moments ticked by and they sat in relative silence. Over the water, Aoi heard footsteps approaching and with them came the sounds of walky-talkies and people shouting. He looked over at Kai, whose eyes no longer reflected the blue-green tinge from the dashboard, so Aoi figured they must have been closed.
“I love you, Kai,” he told him gently. When they were taken to the hospital, they might not be put into the same rooms. It could be forever until he got to say it to him again.
Kai moved a little and his eyes opened. “I love you, too, Aoi.”
“Someone help me get this door open!” A paramedic cried out.
Aoi groaned and felt the pressure on his legs slowly release. Through the daze that was settling over his mind, he was aware of being helped to his feet and led up a slow incline. The paramedics had not known how many people were injured and more ambulances were on the way, but in the meantime, they had said, they needed to keep the stretchers for those who were more injured. By the time Aoi had figured out what all those words meant at once, he had crested the hill and was standing beside the road. No cars were going by because of the blockade that was quickly set in place.
His eyes fell on a body laying near the middle of the road. The person’s bright blonde hair looked orange under the street light and headlights of the arriving ambulance and police cars. He wondered if they were alright; there seemed to be an awfully large stain beneath their head on the pavement. A paramedic draped a large blanket over the person before quickly joining the team bringing people up the hill. Aoi wondered how many people had been in the other car.
“There’s an ambulance for you now,” a paramedic told him and helped him over to the newly arrived vehicle.
“Wait, where’s Kai?” He asked sluggishly and tried to pull away.
“You have to go to the hospital,” the paramedic helped him into the ambulance and shut the doors.
*
Uruha could not walk when they pulled him from the wreckage of Reita’s car. He had been on his feet, but fallen forward when they started to walk. A stretcher was brought for him and as he was bound on the stretcher so that his neck was supported and other labouring, time-wasting tasks, he watched as Reita was removed from the vehicle. His almost-boyfriend was limp and unmoving in the paramedics’ arms and he too was placed in a stretcher.
“I think he’s gone, too,” a paramedic declared sadly as they breached the top of the hill.
He caught a glimpse of them smacking Reita’s chest with something before he was put into an ambulance. From the pain and shock, which he could not feel from the alcohol, he fell into darkness.
*
Aoi watched the sunrise the next day through a hospital window. Flocks of birds were starting their migrations and he could see them lifting in dark, quiet bunches from the tops of the trees. He could almost imagine Kai sitting there at the window, watching the birds while he waited for Aoi to wake up, but of course, Kai was not in his room with him.
Taking his gaze from the window, Aoi looked down at himself. Despite the bruises the broken rib, the nurses had told him that he was going to be fine; however, whenever he asked about Kai, the nurses gave him blank stares. Aoi thought it was pretty impossible for Kai to have been taken to a different hospital, but since the nurses did not know who a Kai Yutaka was, Aoi figured that must have been what had happened.
Time went slowly in the morning between nurse checkups and medicine handouts, and Aoi mostly spent his time thinking about how horrible a birthday last night must have been for Kai. The rest of the time he thought about what Kai was thinking about just now, not knowing where Aoi was, not knowing where he himself was maybe. These thoughts were relatively unproductive, but Aoi was unable to train his thoughts to anywhere else.
*
Dead, the doctor had told him. Dead. How could both of them have died? Uruha’s mind spun and pounded with searing headaches. His legs were never supposed to work again and his two best friends were dead. He had killed someone else besides them, too, though the doctor had not yet told him who that was. His mind would not accept it, but his memories were there: that other car, that fear-stricken face. Those images had seemingly burned themselves into his brain and came to him when he slept, when he ate, and made it so he could not function.
Outside his door, near noon, he thought he heard a new voice talking with the nurses and his doctor. After a few moments, a man dressed in police garb walked in and sat next to his bed.
“Uruha Takashima?” He asked sternly, but not accusingly.
Uruha nodded, but the movement of his head was instantly regretted when his headache bounced back.
“My name is Constable Watanabe. I am hear to tell you that after you recover, you will be put on trial for the deaths of Ruki Matsumoto, Reita Suzuki, and Kai Yutaka.” The policeman announced in a calm voice.
Uruha felt his eyes burn and fought to keep tears from flowing. He had killed his two best friends and someone else, lost the ability to walk, and was going to jail. “I’m sorry,” he cried to no one in particular. He grabbed at his numb knees and sobbed, ignoring whatever the police officer said next to him. His life was over. Their lives were over.
*
Gone. Kai was gone and no one could tell him why.
It was raining as he walked the streets silently, keeping to himself. Although it was autumn, the rain was gentle and held the summer’s warmth in its grasp still, but it added to his misery anyway. The streets were wet and the sky was grey and Aoi felt as if everyone else in the entire world had simply vanished. The cars stopped honking, the people stopped laughing, even the birds seemed to have disappeared, and there was only Aoi, lonely Aoi.
He wanted to take that drunk driver by the throat and scream: “How could you have gotten into that car the way you were?!” How could you have taken my baby away?
In another month or two there would be a trial, a police officer had told him, where Aoi was supposed to testify, but when it all came down to it, the man, the drunk driver, had already been punished in Aoi’s mind. Somehow they all expected Aoi to survive losing the only person in the world who truly mattered to him, and somehow they expected that man, that drunk, to be unrepentant for some reason, as if killing your best friends was not bad enough.
The rain lightened a little, though Aoi barely felt it. In front of him was a black stone with Yutaka carved into it; it was not the first time his feet had carried him there. On the pillars surrounding the gravestone were two tiny sparrows nestled together in the rain. Although Aoi found it endearing, he moved to shoo them away, but stopped himself. Kai barely forgave him one time, when he had scattered the pigeons that Kai had seemed so interested in taming with his and Aoi’s foodstuffs. Beneath that gravestone, his baby’s ashes were resting; would Kai forgive him for scaring the sparrows?
Opening a small gate beneath the tomb stone, he hastily lit a stick of incense with a lighter before the rain could soak it. Closing his eyes, he was surprised when no tears came. For a moment, he could imagine Kai at home waiting for him. The sparrows took off softly and in the beats of their wings, he thought he could hear the hush of Kai’s voice when he would wake Aoi for breakfast. Aoi’s blue eyes snapped open and he watched as the brown birds disappeared from sight.
Inspiration I Am A Thousand Winds by Author Unknown http://seannabirchwood.deviantart.com/journal/27719291/
Chapter one shot
Author: SeannaBirchwood.livejournal.com
Genre: "fanfiction", fiction, shounen-ai (Maybe, maybe its actually yaoi, I'm not sure about that for this one)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: alcohol, sexual references between two or more males, character death, bad language
Band: the GazettE
Characters: Uruha, Aoi, Ruki, Kai, Reita [the GazettE]
Pairings AoixKai, ReitaxUruhaxRuki
Pages: 13
Words: 6,210
Summary: Kai and Aoi are about to celebrate Kai's birthday and Uruha, Ruki, and Reita are out for a night of fun.
disclaimer: just using the names, the personalities and story are all mine.This is a work of fiction, any connections between real life people, places, or events are entirely coincidental
Author's Note: Do I have to say what this was about? I don't think I need to preach to anyone in this day and age. Don't be stupid. You could kill j-rockers!
and the rest of my stories here:
http://seannabirchwood.deviantart.com/journal/27719349/
The apartment was silent when Kai arrived home from his part-time job at the nearby car dealership. It did not strike him as odd at first, but he gradually began noticing signs of Aoi not being home at all-nothing was immaculately clean, there were things missing or out of place. He stooped to right a couch cushion and smiled at bit when he realised Aoi’s perfectionism was really beginning to rub off on him, even though it had only been about two years since they moved in together. Squinting in the darkness, he made his way to the kitchen where the only light in the apartment was curiously on.
As he reached the door, Aoi appeared, startling the absolute wits from Kai, who stumbled and almost fell backwards-would have fallen backwards if Aoi had not caught him in fairly strong arms. Kai stared up at those keyed up blue eyes.
“Happy Birthday! Whoa, you alright?” Aoi laughed as he held him upright. “Did I scare you?”
“Of course you did!” Kai himself was laughing; it was easy to startle him, but it was always hard to actually scare him. “Wait a second, did you say-”
Aoi chuckled and hugged him close. “You forgot again, didn’t you? How many years in a row is this? I only know of two.”
“Usually my mom reminded me,” Kai scowled at being made fun of. Everyone knew he had a hard time remembering things, why would his birthday be any different? The scowl quickly melted away into a smile at the excitement written all over Aoi’s face. “What’s up?”
“Well, about two months ago I managed to book us seats for Aogawa’s finest cuisine: Les Délicieux.” Aoi giggled, “it’s a moronic name, right?”
“You got us seats at the ritziest restaurant in town?!” Kai shouted, “How’d you keep that in for two months?!” Kai could just envision Aoi frantically talking about every other topic under the sun and the moon to keep himself from telling Kai something so important-and when Kai thought back on the last two months, Aoi had been extremely talkative.
Aoi was positively beaming by now. “Your present’s on the kitchen table, by the way.”
“What could you have gotten me to top Les Délicieux? And while I’m on that topic, you’re not paying for the whole thing.” Kai declared while trying to peek over Aoi’s shoulder at the kitchen table.
“Yes I am, just try and stop me.” Aoi told him and kissed the top of his head lightly before letting him go to the kitchen table.
Kai knew very well he would not be able to stop Aoi from paying and so his face heated. “You spend way too much on me.”
“I love you,” Aoi answered as if that were the answer to all things.
“I love you, too,” Kai flashed a smile at him before turning his attention on the large box sitting on the kitchen table. He loved getting presents, but it was a bittersweet kind of deal, since he barely had the money to return gifts to those who bought for him, and he hated to receive and not give. The present was light blue with a crazy amount of dark blue ribbons and painstakingly-placed contrasting red hearts. Somehow, it looked good. It also explained why the apartment was in a crisis-style state of disrepair: Aoi had been working on the wrappings all day. “What the hell…”
“You’ll never know until you open it.” Aoi giggled and came up behind him, encircling Kai’s waist gently with his warm arms. There was a small grin on his face.
Kai looked up at him for a moment. “You covered the thing in tape, didn’t you?”
Aoi smiled knowingly. “Those nails of yours have better uses than clawing at my back.”
Huffing, Kai replied, “I don’t have nails,” and tore into the box.
When he got it open, he pulled out tendrils of blue wax paper to reveal a second smaller box that was decorated exactly the same as the first, except that it was all hues of pink with red hearts. Kai had a feeling he knew where this was going, but Aoi made no motion to stop him as he tore into the pink box, revealing a smaller green box and so on through about three different colours, until all that remained in a mess of wrappings and frills was a velvet red box the size and shape of a ring container.
“Aoi,” Kai breathed.
His black haired boyfriend kissed his neck lightly. “Don’t assume until you know, you know what assuming does.”
“Assuming makes an ass of you and me.” Kai chanted and opened the box that had his brown-eyed gaze fixed upon it. Behind him he could imagine Aoi’s bright blue ones dancing in delight. “Aoi,” he breathed again.
“It’s a promise,” Aoi explained softly. Kai could practically feel the love dripping from his voice as he held Kai close to him. “For when we’re done university. I want to marry you, Kai.”
Kai managed to tear his eyes away from the elegant silver band with its delicate and ornate carvings to return Aoi’s hug and capture his lips in a brief but passionate kiss. Only Aoi would manage to find a promise ring that looked so expensive-and probably made a fair dent in his savings too-but Kai had to admit it was now the most gorgeous thing he owned. Then he remembered that there was something he should be saying.
He pulled away from their kiss slowly, “I want to marry you, too, Aoi.” His cheeks were on their way to becoming a permanent rosy hue when he thought about how possible a marriage could be between them.
Aoi hugged him close, vibrating with happiness but for once not jumping around with the excitement Kai could feel practically pulsing through his skin. Maybe in two years marriage might be possible, but with the government changing continuously, Kai seriously doubted there would ever be a change in the union-between-two-people policy. He bit his lip: they could hope, right? There was no one more perfect for him than Aoi; it sounded corny but it was true. Where Kai could not remember his own birthday, Aoi could remember everything anyone ever needed to know without a fault, where Kai could cook amazingly, Aoi knew all the best places in the city to eat, and their character traits went on like that miles.
*
Uruha’s favourite thing to do was party. He loved the blaring music that left one feeling deaf for several days, he loved the certain smell people only produced when they were dancing, and he loved the dazed condition he put himself in whenever he drank. Alcohol and dancing and music were the tools he used to make himself feel invincible and they worked together harmoniously. So on a Friday night with nothing better to do, he called up two of his best friends and planned a night out on the town.
He did not consider himself a meticulous person, but he made sure that the more important parts of his rather effeminate hair were in order and he applied so conservative makeup around his narrow eyes to make them appear wider. After that he adorned some jewellery that matched his liberal outfit-a short skirt over black bondage pants with three inches of fabric cut away revealing his creamy thighs and a white lacy t-shirt covered with black and red designs and that meshed into a corset-like pattern in the back. Uruha dressed like this often when he was with his friends and was feeling less shy. Not that he felt shy often when he was around people that he knew.
On his dresser his phone began to buzz, so he flipped it open and scanned the text that appeared for him. Ruki, one of his two closest friends, had grabbed a taxi and would be outside in a few short minutes. Instead of replying, Uruha grabbed a bottle, his wallet, and some extra change and stuffed them into the deep pockets in his bondage pants. He then slipped his cell into an empty pocket, turned his lights off, and ran off down the hall to the stairs-too much in a hurry to take the elevator or to lock his door.
Outside in a white and blue taxi with a glowing orange sign on the top was Ruki, glaring impatiently at Uruha’s apartment building. Ruki had actually forgotten his natural hair colour a long while ago and had no pre-graduation pictures to remind him, but currently sported a head of bright, flashy blonde. When he caught sight of Uruha trotting towards them his glare softened and he grinned, absentmindedly toying with the weight hanging from the tunnel in his left ear. The man had really worked hard to impress him-or so it seemed-and Ruki was impressed. He loved the shape of Uruha’s body, loved the colour of his skin, and the sounds the sandy brunette made when Ruki teased him.
Uruha waited as the automatic door opened and sat down next to him. “Sorry I made you wait,” he apologized quietly, though not sounding too apologetic.
“It’s alright,” Ruki shrugged a little before the light of the taxi flicked off. Something had caught his eye and so he reached up to brush away Uruha’s hair and smiled. Placing his hand on Uruha’s shoulder, who was pleasantly relaxed with his friend touching him, Ruki leaned in and bit the brunette’s earlobe. “New piercing?” He asked while Uruha shivered a little.
“Sorta,” Uruha managed to reply.
“So that hurt?” Ruki questioned before nipping at it again.
“A little,” but the look on Uruha’s face told him it felt just as good as it hurt.
Ruki grinned and sat back. “You won’t feel it once we get started.”
“Probably not,” Uruha smiled at him before looking out the front window. “Are we picking up Reita?”
“No, he’s going to meet us at the club. Where’re we going afterwards?” Ruki wanted to know and kept his eyes on Uruha.
Uruha shifted and Ruki understood that he was the slightest bit uncomfortable with the way Ruki was staring at him. “Umm, probably Reita’s, I think his couch is the softest.”
“Alright,” Ruki feigned indifference, but he was starting to notice that Uruha was spending a little too much time with Reita, and tonight he planned to put a stop to that.
*
Aoi did not think that Kai would ever fall for him the way that the small brunette obviously had. They had met during high school, but it was not until university that they really started talking, and Aoi had realised right away that he loved how his friend-and now lover-thought. He had new ways of thinking about almost everything and no matter what, Aoi always found himself amazed at the thoughts that Kai would have-and then forget. At first he had thought that it was incredibly unfair, how Kai could be so smart and understand so much of their lessons, only to make meagre grades on tests and exams because he simply could not remember it, but memory was not overly important to Kai. Sure, he would never be able to remember Aoi’s birthday, but that did not mean that Aoi would go with love or gifts, it just meant that they would come at infrequent intervals and surprise him. He kept them living vigorously in the present when, before Kai, Aoi had so often dwelled in the past.
At first, Kai had been the most innocent thing in the world. When Aoi held his hand, the man would blush-which was endearing, but sometimes annoying. Now, when they walked into the restaurant together, Kai was holding his arm as if he would never let Aoi go, and Aoi was sure that if Kai had the choice, he would always choose Aoi. It brought an incredible smile to Aoi’s face that rarely left; Kai’s affections and small gestures could make him so immeasurably happy he was sure passers-by thought he was insane with the way he was also smiling.
They sat down together and Kai began showing one of the character traits that the two of them unpleasantly shared.
“Okay, order anything you want,” Aoi smiled; they had their legs folded under the table while they scanned the menus.
“What about this?” Kai questioned and pointed to something on the first few pages.
“Kai, that’s the cheapest thing on the menu.” Aoi replied flatly.
“No, it’s not.” Kai answered and looked up at him with a smile. Aoi was not going to fall for the smile, not again.
Both Aoi and Kai were incredibly stubborn in incredibly different ways, but it led to the same thing: decision making was usually impossible.
“Kai, it’s your birthday. I know what food you like; do I really have to order for you?” Aoi arched an eyebrow and tried to keep his victory smile off of his face. Once it was ordered, Kai would eat it whether he wanted it or not because Kai detested when food was wasted.
“If I order what I want, you have to, too,” Kai mumbled and looked back the menu.
Aoi blinked: it was impossible to believe he had won that easily. He probably has something in mind to win with later, Aoi thought. That was Kai’s usual routine if he let Aoi win something so easily. “Kai, baby, I like treating myself, of course I’m going to order what I like.”
Kai relaxed and flashed him the prettiest smile of the night, second only of course to the one right after he had seen the ring, the same ring that was now glinting off of his left ring-finger. Aoi had tried to convince him that that finger was supposed to be reserved for the wedding ring, but Kai had won that little dispute by saying that in his mind it was a wedding ring. Aoi had sighed and smiled a little: wait until Kai saw the wedding rings that Aoi had been browsing through in his off-time, that silly silver band looked immensely dull in comparison!
“So, what are you thinking about eating?” Aoi wanted to know. He had figured out what he himself was buying before they had even arrived at the restaurant, which had its menu online to help attract customers to its pricey-and usually packed full with business men-set up.
“I can’t pronounce it, I think it’s supposed to be Italian,” Kai showed him the object in question. “And a chocolate shake.”
Aoi giggled. “You’re at the best restaurant in the country, and you want to drink a chocolate shake?”
Kai frowned indignantly. “You told me to order what I want, and I want a chocolate shake. So there,” and he pouted like a child for a bit while Aoi laughed.
“Okay, okay, okay, you can stop giving me that look anytime, you know.” He flagged the waiter down and ordered their meals. “And a bottle of uh this champagne,” Aoi pointed at the word. Where he could even speak a little Italian, French pronunciation continued to elude him.
The waiter looked at them strangely before he floated off to place their orders. Kai smiled sweetly at him. Aoi felt his own cheeks starting to burn. Besides the wine, only one drink had been ordered at Kai’s request, and Aoi could not wait until they could share a first-class chocolate shake together. He wondered if it would bring about the same type of euphoria as doing certain other things together, like unmaking Kai’s bed.
*
Reita watched as his two friends approached; Uruha already seemed tipsy but he knew that was Ruki interfering with his walk. The air was starting to cool as early autumn really began to set in and Reita found it quite refreshing compared to the summer heat. He breathed in deeply before dropping and grinding his cigarette into the ground.
“You two took forever,” he announced quietly and smiled a little. He did not mind waiting; in fact he had left a little early so he could enjoy some quiet in the dark before going into the brightly lit and crowded club.
“Yeah whatever, fuck you,” Ruki replied in his usual cranky style.
Uruha smiled. “Ruki’s kind of impatient with that part,” and Reita closed the eye closest to the cheek where Uruha placed a quick kiss, “Let’s dance.”
“Dancing is all our little Uruha can think about,” Ruki chuckled, not seeming to mind the dig at his incredible sex-drive.
“We’ll never change, will we?” Reita asked while laughing a little. He followed Uruha into the club.
“Nope, did you bring your car? Taxi’s are starting to get fucking expensive.” Ruki jumped up on Reita’s back and held on as Reita submerged into the crowd, trying to follow their more agile friend.
“I brought my car, don’t worry. Hey Uruha! Wait up,” Reita called and shoved a half dressed, barely sober girl out of his way. “Why can’t we have our own party at home?” He grumbled uselessly. Uruha and Ruki seemed to be fascinated with the amount of people a building could hold and still have dancing room.
Uruha turned and waited with a glowing expression on his face. When Reita reached him, he grabbed out and held him close, forcing the fair-haired brunette into a startlingly hungry kiss. He felt Ruki tense with excitement on his back and knew the three of them would be in for an awesome night. They just had to appease Uruha’s almost insatiable appetite for clubbing first, without exhausting themselves.
“I guess you’re impatient too,” Uruha smirked a little and vanished into the crowds of people.
*
The chocolate shake was not a three dollar chocolate shake and looked better than what fifteen dollars demanded in a chocolate shake. After they finished their meal, Aoi ordered a dessert before Kai could protest or even mention how full he was. During the wait, Kai spent his time alternately between pretending to ignore Aoi and glaring at Aoi in a playful manner, which got giggles coming from the other man.
He stopped immediately when the dessert arrived. If Kai’s eyes had taste sensors, he would have been able to taste the chocolate, whip cream, cake, ice cream concoction of a dessert with his eyes. Aoi passed him a dessert fork and the next few moments passed in silence as they thoughtfully digested their first bite.
Kai moaned quietly as he swallowed, which sent a red blush flaming along Aoi’s cheeks. “That’s amazing.”
“It’s going to kill our stomachs to finish it,” Aoi agreed solemnly.
The look on Aoi’s face told Kai that no matter the consequence, Aoi was just as prepared to finish the massive, gut-destroying dessert as Kai was.
“Let’s do it.” Kai affirmed and the two began to delve into the most delicious, most chocolaty thing they had ever seen, let alone tasted.
It was moments like these where Kai knew Aoi would be the only one for him, no matter what. And now he could be sure, he thought as he looked down at the promise ring. Even though it would feel like a long time, university would soon be over and then they could start planning it. Kai was sure there was a way to get around the laws; somehow, they just had to look hard enough.
*
Uruha shot something that tasted mildly of vanilla and swayed out onto the floor. His vision was doing fairly well compared to normal, but he was still finding it a touch difficult to navigate the slowly-emptying dance floor of the club. Reita steadied him, though his red face betrayed his seemingly-non-tipsy-ness and brought him in close for an almost smothering kiss. He felt Ruki’s strong fingers pinch his backside and suddenly he had the strongest urge to head to Reita’s early.
“I think I’ve danced enough,” he announced as Reita released his mouth. “Can we head home? I’m kinda tired.”
“Sure you are,” Ruki smirked.
Reita looked at the two of them. “So who’s driving?”
Uruha watched as Ruki narrowed his eyes and said, “I think Uruha should drive. That way I know you aren’t doing anything to him in the back seat.”
Arching an eyebrow, Reita merely nodded. He was not about to argue with Ruki, and besides, they could do a lot to Uruha while they were sitting in the back. The twenty minutes home were sure to be full of exciting moments.
“Alright,” Uruha agreed and slipped away from them toward the exit and the parking lot. He had been looking forward to nestling up with Reita while Ruki drove, but he was mature enough to let Ruki’s apparent jealousy slide. At least he knew that they would get home safely with himself at the wheel, no one was a better driver than Uruha.
Which was exactly why he did not have his license.
*
Kai leaned on Aoi’s arm as they walked toward Aoi’s car. From the bottle of wine, he had had a few glasses, but he made sure-since Aoi had vehemently volunteered to be driver-that Aoi had not had any and they packed the bottle up for home usage. He had never been able to hold his alcohol well, but Aoi’s arm made what would have been a difficult, bumping-into-parked-cars walk an enjoyable one.
Aoi stopped them and leaned against his car, holding Kai close to him and stared up at the black expansive sky. The so many millions of stars were blocked out by the city’s powerful lights and air pollution, so only the moon provided a break in the charcoal sea above them. Kai smiled up at him, feeling a little buzzed from the wine and fully content with life. Aoi returned his smile and whispered softly to him all the promises under the moon, which brought bigger and happier smiles to Kai’s face. It was one of the biggest clichés of all, one that was not supposed to happen in real life, but Kai was beginning to think they would have a happy ending, when so many others did not. His heart was full and there was no possible way he could ever be any happier than he was at that moment.
Black bangs tickled his nose as Aoi leaned in and kissed him languidly; they had all the time in the world.
*
Uruha hummed softly to a song on the radio and gave his best effort at ignoring Ruki and Reita’s comments about his body or about what they were going to do to it. He had to pay attention to the road and if they kept their comments up it would become harder and harder for him to do that. Headlights whizzed by and he blinked to clear the bright coloured dots that appeared in his vision. Where was the yellow line?
When he had located it again, he drove as close as he could to it without actually setting a tire upon it. This would be the way they avoided police detection, or so he hoped. In his mind, they were driving in a fairly straight line and he was doing rather well, which made him proud. He had watched the other two drive enough times that he was positive he could do it too, without ever having to get an actual license. Who would card him? He was old enough and looked old enough to have one.
Suddenly he felt warm hands gently caressing his thighs, but he did not let himself look down as fingernails scratched at the bare skin where the sections of his pants were missing. He had to keep his attention on the road. Uruha bit his lip and stared at the yellow line while gripping the steering wheel tightly as one of the hands began squeezing him through his bondage pants. A quietly pleased whimper escaped his throat and he clutched the wheel tighter.
“He’s so cute, don’t you think?” Ruki’s voice was incredibly close to his ear for the blonde having been sitting in the backseat.
“If I didn’t think so, the three of us wouldn’t be heading to my apartment, Ruki,” Reita yawned and squeezed Uruha harder.
Uruha, unable to control himself, pressed upwards against Reita’s hand. Ruki was nibbling on his neck with his body half in the front of the car. “Nnn, stop,” Uruha groaned.
Reita seemed to decide to do the opposite and Uruha felt his zipper being tugged down. One of Ruki’s hands pinched at his sensitive nipples-or was it Reita’s other hand? Uruha twisted to try and get away from them, but the seatbelt held him in firmly with that incredibly annoying locking-feature. He took one of his hands off of the steering wheel to engage Reita’s hands in a war over his zipper.
“I said stop it!” Uruha growled. “I’m driving!”
“Uruha, what the hell are you doing?” Ruki snapped as he looked up from the light-haired brunette’s delicate neck. “Look at the road, moron!”
“It’s kinda hard when the two of you are-” Uruha looked up and headlights were blinding him. In the distance, he seemed to catch startled eyes before a loud shattering sound cut off the rest of his words and no matter how hard he tried, he could not control the car as it rolled upside down off of the road.
*
Aoi was driving roughly the speed limit as he headed toward Kai’s and his apartment, which was a new thing for him-usually Aoi drove about forty kilometres above the speed limit. He was taking special care because Kai was with him and because it was dark, and the slower that they went the more time they had to talk in the car, which was the place that Aoi had always preferred to talk in above everywhere else.
He bent down to give Kai’s head a quick peck before turning his attention on the road. Ahead of them, some idiot was zipping along faster than the speed limit; a thing Aoi realised was annoying when everyone else was obeying the law. Rolling his eyes, he sped up a little; maybe it was for the best that they get home quicker. Kai seemed to be a little tired anyway.
“Whoa, Aoi, that guy is all over the road!” Kai declared and gripped Aoi’s sleeve quickly.
When Aoi checked the advancing vehicle again, he noticed how the headlights were swaying. Biting his lip, he slowed down and moved as close as he could to the sidewalk lip, which rose up into a gate to protect pedestrians as they walked. “We’re fine, he’s staying on that side.”
Kai looked at him. “I know, I can see, it’s just freaky is all-”
Aoi saw his opening and pushed the car up onto the sidewalk where the fence disappeared into a small bridge just as the other driver crossed the road with a sharp jerk, plunging into them. Kai shrieked as the car upended itself, crunching through the gate of the bridge and rolling down the embankment and showering them with windshield glass and car-door-window glass and then rocks and garbage and finally drops of water.
Hanging upside down by his seatbelt and held in place by the airbag, Aoi desperately tried to get his bearings in the dark. His headlights had been totalled, but somehow the blue and green lights on the dashboard still shone dully. Aoi could not focus on them and the gourmet food in his stomach threatened to spill out from the shock and the pain in his legs. Slowly, he looked over at Kai, whose eyes were wide open and scanning the front of the car like he was, but unlike him Kai seemed immeasurably calm.
“You alright?” Kai murmured when he noticed Aoi’s eyes on him. There were stains on his face that Aoi could not make out.
“I’m fine,” Aoi whispered, though he was incredibly sore and was sure he felt blood running up from his legs, which were pinned by the collapsed driver’s side door and broken something else that Aoi could not see but felt. “You?”
“I’m okay, not hurt or anything.” Kai replied and gave him a small smile.
Feeling reassured, Aoi reached down to unbuckle his seatbelt. Below him, he could hear water trickling through the holes of the roof and windows. It was only a tiny stream bed that the city had fixed up to look nice and so the water was not deep at all, but the sound of it was stressing what was left of Aoi’s nerves. From a distance he could hear the ambulance sirens wailing, so he stalled his hands. If he was hurt badly, or Kai was hurt badly, and they started to move before the ambulance came, they could make their injuries worse, right?
Moments ticked by and they sat in relative silence. Over the water, Aoi heard footsteps approaching and with them came the sounds of walky-talkies and people shouting. He looked over at Kai, whose eyes no longer reflected the blue-green tinge from the dashboard, so Aoi figured they must have been closed.
“I love you, Kai,” he told him gently. When they were taken to the hospital, they might not be put into the same rooms. It could be forever until he got to say it to him again.
Kai moved a little and his eyes opened. “I love you, too, Aoi.”
“Someone help me get this door open!” A paramedic cried out.
Aoi groaned and felt the pressure on his legs slowly release. Through the daze that was settling over his mind, he was aware of being helped to his feet and led up a slow incline. The paramedics had not known how many people were injured and more ambulances were on the way, but in the meantime, they had said, they needed to keep the stretchers for those who were more injured. By the time Aoi had figured out what all those words meant at once, he had crested the hill and was standing beside the road. No cars were going by because of the blockade that was quickly set in place.
His eyes fell on a body laying near the middle of the road. The person’s bright blonde hair looked orange under the street light and headlights of the arriving ambulance and police cars. He wondered if they were alright; there seemed to be an awfully large stain beneath their head on the pavement. A paramedic draped a large blanket over the person before quickly joining the team bringing people up the hill. Aoi wondered how many people had been in the other car.
“There’s an ambulance for you now,” a paramedic told him and helped him over to the newly arrived vehicle.
“Wait, where’s Kai?” He asked sluggishly and tried to pull away.
“You have to go to the hospital,” the paramedic helped him into the ambulance and shut the doors.
*
Uruha could not walk when they pulled him from the wreckage of Reita’s car. He had been on his feet, but fallen forward when they started to walk. A stretcher was brought for him and as he was bound on the stretcher so that his neck was supported and other labouring, time-wasting tasks, he watched as Reita was removed from the vehicle. His almost-boyfriend was limp and unmoving in the paramedics’ arms and he too was placed in a stretcher.
“I think he’s gone, too,” a paramedic declared sadly as they breached the top of the hill.
He caught a glimpse of them smacking Reita’s chest with something before he was put into an ambulance. From the pain and shock, which he could not feel from the alcohol, he fell into darkness.
*
Aoi watched the sunrise the next day through a hospital window. Flocks of birds were starting their migrations and he could see them lifting in dark, quiet bunches from the tops of the trees. He could almost imagine Kai sitting there at the window, watching the birds while he waited for Aoi to wake up, but of course, Kai was not in his room with him.
Taking his gaze from the window, Aoi looked down at himself. Despite the bruises the broken rib, the nurses had told him that he was going to be fine; however, whenever he asked about Kai, the nurses gave him blank stares. Aoi thought it was pretty impossible for Kai to have been taken to a different hospital, but since the nurses did not know who a Kai Yutaka was, Aoi figured that must have been what had happened.
Time went slowly in the morning between nurse checkups and medicine handouts, and Aoi mostly spent his time thinking about how horrible a birthday last night must have been for Kai. The rest of the time he thought about what Kai was thinking about just now, not knowing where Aoi was, not knowing where he himself was maybe. These thoughts were relatively unproductive, but Aoi was unable to train his thoughts to anywhere else.
*
Dead, the doctor had told him. Dead. How could both of them have died? Uruha’s mind spun and pounded with searing headaches. His legs were never supposed to work again and his two best friends were dead. He had killed someone else besides them, too, though the doctor had not yet told him who that was. His mind would not accept it, but his memories were there: that other car, that fear-stricken face. Those images had seemingly burned themselves into his brain and came to him when he slept, when he ate, and made it so he could not function.
Outside his door, near noon, he thought he heard a new voice talking with the nurses and his doctor. After a few moments, a man dressed in police garb walked in and sat next to his bed.
“Uruha Takashima?” He asked sternly, but not accusingly.
Uruha nodded, but the movement of his head was instantly regretted when his headache bounced back.
“My name is Constable Watanabe. I am hear to tell you that after you recover, you will be put on trial for the deaths of Ruki Matsumoto, Reita Suzuki, and Kai Yutaka.” The policeman announced in a calm voice.
Uruha felt his eyes burn and fought to keep tears from flowing. He had killed his two best friends and someone else, lost the ability to walk, and was going to jail. “I’m sorry,” he cried to no one in particular. He grabbed at his numb knees and sobbed, ignoring whatever the police officer said next to him. His life was over. Their lives were over.
*
Gone. Kai was gone and no one could tell him why.
It was raining as he walked the streets silently, keeping to himself. Although it was autumn, the rain was gentle and held the summer’s warmth in its grasp still, but it added to his misery anyway. The streets were wet and the sky was grey and Aoi felt as if everyone else in the entire world had simply vanished. The cars stopped honking, the people stopped laughing, even the birds seemed to have disappeared, and there was only Aoi, lonely Aoi.
He wanted to take that drunk driver by the throat and scream: “How could you have gotten into that car the way you were?!” How could you have taken my baby away?
In another month or two there would be a trial, a police officer had told him, where Aoi was supposed to testify, but when it all came down to it, the man, the drunk driver, had already been punished in Aoi’s mind. Somehow they all expected Aoi to survive losing the only person in the world who truly mattered to him, and somehow they expected that man, that drunk, to be unrepentant for some reason, as if killing your best friends was not bad enough.
The rain lightened a little, though Aoi barely felt it. In front of him was a black stone with Yutaka carved into it; it was not the first time his feet had carried him there. On the pillars surrounding the gravestone were two tiny sparrows nestled together in the rain. Although Aoi found it endearing, he moved to shoo them away, but stopped himself. Kai barely forgave him one time, when he had scattered the pigeons that Kai had seemed so interested in taming with his and Aoi’s foodstuffs. Beneath that gravestone, his baby’s ashes were resting; would Kai forgive him for scaring the sparrows?
Opening a small gate beneath the tomb stone, he hastily lit a stick of incense with a lighter before the rain could soak it. Closing his eyes, he was surprised when no tears came. For a moment, he could imagine Kai at home waiting for him. The sparrows took off softly and in the beats of their wings, he thought he could hear the hush of Kai’s voice when he would wake Aoi for breakfast. Aoi’s blue eyes snapped open and he watched as the brown birds disappeared from sight.