Title: Redeeming Eden Length: Chaptered Rating: PG and growing Pairings: YooSu, JaeHo, MinOther Summary: Love, Hatred, Gratitude, Revenge. Is love worth all the pain they have to go through?
okay, so what the hell happened to that bliss? Yunho seems different to the man Junsu has in his memories. and Su going out drinking every night- something went wrong in the paradise, eh? and- is Chunnie the one Su 'compensated'? *grins*
girpped and sopke- i guess your fingers tend to work faster than your spell-check, just like mine ;) and See the blush, he smirked etc, considering how the sentence goes, i think it'd be better to say 'seeing' the blush, he smirked- or even- he smirked, seeing the blush. something like that. hope you don't mind me pointing these out?
and my fave part is Su on the balcony, wanting the cold to keep him awake and aware. painful, but beatutiful.
First of all, thanks for pointing out the mistakes, will have them changed. That part about the blush... erm.. carelessness again. Too bad spell check doesn't do sentence structure too. It was supposed to be 'seeing'. Of course I don't mind!
Yup, Chunnie was well compensated. I thought him looking into Junsu's eyes and then thinking about the eyes again would make it obvious. :p
The bliss.. let's just say the real reason for the change is still too far to be seen now. Sorry, can only tell you that's many chapters later.
In a way, I see pain as a form of beauty, especially when it's taken silently.
no problem, if you don't mind then i don't mind ;) heh, seconded on the sentence structure...
see, that's the problem with omniscient point of view. i did guess that the 'eyes' part is about Su, but- first off, they had their encounter outside the gents, and two- you show us just the man doubling in pain, and then- Yoochun standing calmly in front of a mirror. i know the omission of characters' names is sometimes used for suspense, but more often than not it's just confusing.
no need to be sorry, did it myself often enough. as long as you know what it is, i don't mind waiting to find out.
welcome to the club. i've got this saying (no idea where i first found it), turn the pain into something beautiful. and i try to live by it.
I guess the omniscient pov issue isn't going to be that easily solved. Most probably gotta take lots of honing. I'll keep working on it, first fic or not.
Love the saying. Pain is a beautiful thing to me, one that creates strength. Cheers!
What....wait...what happened?? Where did the happiness go? Yunho....seems so different in Junsu's memories than he is in the present time of this. T__T
Wait....was that Chunnie that 'Su compensated? lol...
Ohhh....'Su the vet! I can see him as it actually.XD
Yep, I choosed HoSu over MinSu, preferred choice. Chunnie just got to know Su in that incident. I'll try to clear things up with the chapters to follow. Thanks for reading, Cheers!
Comments 23
girpped and sopke- i guess your fingers tend to work faster than your spell-check, just like mine ;) and See the blush, he smirked etc, considering how the sentence goes, i think it'd be better to say 'seeing' the blush, he smirked- or even- he smirked, seeing the blush. something like that. hope you don't mind me pointing these out?
and my fave part is Su on the balcony, wanting the cold to keep him awake and aware. painful, but beatutiful.
thanks for sharing ♥
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Yup, Chunnie was well compensated. I thought him looking into Junsu's eyes and then thinking about the eyes again would make it obvious. :p
The bliss.. let's just say the real reason for the change is still too far to be seen now. Sorry, can only tell you that's many chapters later.
In a way, I see pain as a form of beauty, especially when it's taken silently.
Thanks for reading, Cheers!
Reply
see, that's the problem with omniscient point of view. i did guess that the 'eyes' part is about Su, but- first off, they had their encounter outside the gents, and two- you show us just the man doubling in pain, and then- Yoochun standing calmly in front of a mirror. i know the omission of characters' names is sometimes used for suspense, but more often than not it's just confusing.
no need to be sorry, did it myself often enough. as long as you know what it is, i don't mind waiting to find out.
welcome to the club. i've got this saying (no idea where i first found it), turn the pain into something beautiful. and i try to live by it.
thanks for writing ^^
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Love the saying. Pain is a beautiful thing to me, one that creates strength.
Cheers!
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Wait....was that Chunnie that 'Su compensated? lol...
Ohhh....'Su the vet! I can see him as it actually.XD
I can't wait to see what happens!!
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Yup, hope Chunnie liked his compensation.
Su doesn't hold much of such professions in most fics, so I just wanted something different for him.
Thanks for reading, Cheers!
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i'm confused..
but in a good way!! can't wait for more!
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Thanks for reading, Cheers!
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Cheers!
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*.*!
The current Yunho seems different from the past Yunho.
I wonder what had happened with their relationship, To has Junsu drinking at nights!
So. . .Chunnie knows Su??
I'm really intriqued!
X3!
Hugs!
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Chunnie just got to know Su in that incident.
I'll try to clear things up with the chapters to follow.
Thanks for reading, Cheers!
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