Stardate 0115.7
Crazy snow, wow.
I got that feeling, coming home. That feeling I used to get, when I was a little kid, going up to the pass for ski trips. That feeling of excitement, youth, and impending joy.
That was 8 years ago.
It was a strange feeling, to get that sensation over again. It was like my car magically turned into a time machine, and I was thrust back almost a whole decade. When times were simpler. Had I really changed that much, over this much time?
Then again, this hasn't been the first time I'd asked myself this one question. I can't quite put my finger on it, but somewhere in the range of three years ago, I feel like I've never been the same as before. When you lose all direction, all focus. When you forget what kind of person you used to be.
I feel like I've been degenerating over these years. Before, I used to pride myself in being someone who was continually growing; getting stronger, faster, smarter, giving my all every single waking hour of my days. Everyone around me saw that. Except for now.
Actually, the only aspect in which I might be growing now, might be my music. I've been getting pretty good at violin lately. I keep questioning myself why I invest so much time into practicing, going to lessons, and music in general. When I can be putting that time into studying, or friends, or whatever. Music is just it's own little world, that seemingly benefits me very little. Completely opposite of how it used to be, in my "glory days".
But then, maybe thats why I cling on to my music so much. Because it reminds me of who I used to be, and what I can still recapture.
I got that feeling, coming home. That feeling I used to get, when I was a little kid, going up to the pass for ski trips. That feeling of excitement, youth, and impending joy.
That was 8 years ago.
It was a strange feeling, to get that sensation over again. It was like my car magically turned into a time machine, and I was thrust back almost a whole decade. When times were simpler. Had I really changed that much, over this much time?
Then again, this hasn't been the first time I'd asked myself this one question. I can't quite put my finger on it, but somewhere in the range of three years ago, I feel like I've never been the same as before. When you lose all direction, all focus. When you forget what kind of person you used to be.
I feel like I've been degenerating over these years. Before, I used to pride myself in being someone who was continually growing; getting stronger, faster, smarter, giving my all every single waking hour of my days. Everyone around me saw that. Except for now.
Actually, the only aspect in which I might be growing now, might be my music. I've been getting pretty good at violin lately. I keep questioning myself why I invest so much time into practicing, going to lessons, and music in general. When I can be putting that time into studying, or friends, or whatever. Music is just it's own little world, that seemingly benefits me very little. Completely opposite of how it used to be, in my "glory days".
But then, maybe thats why I cling on to my music so much. Because it reminds me of who I used to be, and what I can still recapture.