Yet more bitching
So I've been thinking about exactly *why* I've been so down the last few days, and it's pretty much come down to this: I've already had to put up with all of this crap. Orientation, enforced partipation and cheerfulness, empty speeches, and worst of all, the lonlienss and disorientation of being in an entirely new place by yourself.
I had a whole life at Bennington. I knew how the system worked there, even if it worked badly. I had a life. I had friends. I was mostly happy. And they took it away from me.
So however good Hollins turns out to be, coming here, and realising that it wasn't Bennington, that Tinker wasn't Perkins, that these weren't the teachers that I knew, that my friends weren't here- it hurt. I think I'd kind of been expecting a Bennington-redux, and now I'm here all alone.
Still, I'm feeling better than I was, and if it comes right down to it, I'd rather have my own company than quite a few other peoples- and even if my friends aren't here, I can still write them. Besides which, I always have the people that live in my head for conversation ^^
I had a whole life at Bennington. I knew how the system worked there, even if it worked badly. I had a life. I had friends. I was mostly happy. And they took it away from me.
So however good Hollins turns out to be, coming here, and realising that it wasn't Bennington, that Tinker wasn't Perkins, that these weren't the teachers that I knew, that my friends weren't here- it hurt. I think I'd kind of been expecting a Bennington-redux, and now I'm here all alone.
Still, I'm feeling better than I was, and if it comes right down to it, I'd rather have my own company than quite a few other peoples- and even if my friends aren't here, I can still write them. Besides which, I always have the people that live in my head for conversation ^^