Proving ourselves, over and over again.

[seanan_mcguire]

Someone commented, in reading the responses to my "stop checking my credentials" post of yesterday, that it was somewhat distressing how many people seemed to feel the need to go "yeah, I may not X, but I Y, I Z, I A B C D I am an alphabet I am a geek don't dismiss me." And it is distressing. It distresses me. I am distressed. Because I do the

Comments

[anne_d]

You are safe here. No matter what kind of geek you are, or whether or not I understand your passions.

This ground is yours.

Yes. Thank you. And you are awesome.

[seanan_mcguire]

<3

[seanan_mcguire]

There's no reason not to take pride in what you love? I'm referring to the tendency a lot of us, myself included, have developed to go "Oh, I don't read DC, but I read everything Marvel prints, I'm a big Vertigo girl, I have all the Dark Horse Warren collections, you know, the big ones you could use to kill a man, so you see, I'm allowed to be here." The conversation doesn't have to be a cross-examination. "You like DC? Neat. I never got into it," should be all that's required of us.

[beccastareyes]

Or/and "How do you feel about Marvel? I read everything they print." Instead of making it 'I am allowed to be here too!' it becomes 'Do we share an aspect of fannishness beyond general 'Western Superhero comics'?'.

Not required, of course. Hell, I assume if you think spending time/money at a con is a good idea*, then you are 'geeky enough' to be at a con. And if you don't, you still could be 'geeky enough', since con culture is not the be-all and end-all of fan culture.

* And if you are a non-geek working the con or supervising a minor or whatever reason you have to be at a con, then you also have a right to be present and to not have to produce 'geek credentials' or be harassed. You have a reason to be there; there's no 'you must be this much of a geek to enter' sign.

[hoppytoad79]

"You like DC? Neat. I never got into it," should be all that's required of us.

I totally agree. Fandom is totally a 'to each their own' thing. There is no better or worse, only different.

[wendyzski]

Exactly. The first response to feeling threatened is to become defensive - to respond in kind to the challenger. But in a lot of ways that is just as problematic because you've just allowed them to choose the ground on which you fight.

Now, it has been a looooong time since anyone geek-checked me, but my stock response is now more likely to be a look of exaggerated pity and "Wow, your life must be very small and sad."

[geekhyena]

"you've just allowed them to choose the ground on which you fight." Exactly. And letting your opponent choose the ground rarely works in your favor.

[dogmatix_san]

Yup. Either deny them battle or move to a ground that favours you. Never let your opponent set the terms if you can help it. If nothing else move it to a contest between fandoms/games/etc, instead of simply letting them move within the area that they're strongest in. Because the area they choose to fight you in? Is probably one of their strongest, if not the strongest, area that they have.

[geekhyena]

Exactly. If I throw down, it will be on my terms. You challenged me to the duel - I get to pick the weapons. And I will pick them in such a way that you will not come out on top.

[hai_kah_uhk]

The whole "fake girl geek" thing is bizarre. Fortunately, nobody has ever asked me to defend my cred - or maybe they have, and I just thought they were making conversation. Either way, I don't care what they think of me. When someone asks me what my fandoms are, I say, "Indie comics; in fact I draw an indie comic. Check out my table in room X! I also like science." Then the conversation usually turns to how awesome science comic books are, or they lose interest and wander away, which is fine too.

Maybe I'm just (not) meeting the wrong people. Although I give myself points for just plain obliviousness.

[geekhyena]

Plain obliviousness is often a good strategy for not only evading said credential checking, but also deflating it - if they don't get a rise out of you, they might be more likely to stop. I'm convinced a lot of the "credential-checkers" do it to get people defensive and therefore give them examples to point at of women being irrational and defensive and invalidate female emotions. *eyeroll* My inability to read social cues sometimes comes in handy that way - it's hard to get a rise out of someone who doesn't realize or care that you're trying to piss them off.

[seanan_mcguire]

I think you're meeting the right people.

[geekhyena]

It already is driving away the next generation of geeks. My sister and her friends are all into fantasy and really geek out about it, but few would describe themselves as geeks - there's this perception that if girls like it, it's not geeky, and it's really visible when I see them hanging out, discussing urban fantasy or Welcome to Night Vale or Supernatural or the Hunger Games. Why is Lord of the Rings acceptably geeky and Supernatural isn't? It's unfair and driving people away, and it's misogynist. We need to storm the gatekeepers and remind them that women have been driving forces in fandoms since the beginning. If they push us, we need to tackle them back. These are our spaces, too.

[wendyzski]

Yay Night Vale! Seanan has been tweeting about it too!

[geekhyena]

I have listened to the first two episodes while biking and am very fond of it. The narrator has an excellent voice, and yay for queer romance in fiction! I am wholeheartedly addicted.

[seanan_mcguire]

That is terrifying and upsetting unto me.