Happy Australia Makes You Die Day!
A year has passed, and that means that once again, my big list o' holidays* has landed on a holiday that is very important to me on a deep, meaningful level. Maybe not as deep as Virus Appreciation Day (October 3rd), which I celebrate every year by not unleashing the pandemic, or Cuckoo Warning Day (June 21st), which is best celebrated by evolving parasitic wasps into telepathic humanoids, but still, it's important to me.
Today is Australia Day.
Today we celebrate the existence of Australia, the continent which proves that evolution did a lot of drugs when it was young. Today we celebrate the fact that Australia is full of things that want to make us all die, the fact that Australia is frequently on fire, and the fact that Australia essentially hates humanity. Specific things to celebrate about Australia include venomous snakes, spiders the size of dinner plates, marsupials, really interesting money, the koala (which will totally rip your face off if you poke it), and the cone snail, which is the size of a man's thumb and can kill you extremely dead. This is why you do not fuck around with the native wildlife of Australia.
On a more serious note...Australia is having some serious issues right now, with the flooding in Queensland verging on Biblical proportions. The government of Queensland is organizing flood relief. It's rare that I post this sort of thing, but today is Australia Day, and I'm their Princess, so I felt that it was appropriate. That is one hell of a lot of water, and they're going to need one hell of a lot of buckets to clean it all up.
So thank you for existing, Australia. Today is your day. Your venomous, deadly, kicking-your-ass, being eaten by koalas day.
Hooray Australia!
(*I have a list containing a holiday for every single day of the year. Some days have more than one holiday listed. The world needs more excuses for a party.)
Today is Australia Day.
Today we celebrate the existence of Australia, the continent which proves that evolution did a lot of drugs when it was young. Today we celebrate the fact that Australia is full of things that want to make us all die, the fact that Australia is frequently on fire, and the fact that Australia essentially hates humanity. Specific things to celebrate about Australia include venomous snakes, spiders the size of dinner plates, marsupials, really interesting money, the koala (which will totally rip your face off if you poke it), and the cone snail, which is the size of a man's thumb and can kill you extremely dead. This is why you do not fuck around with the native wildlife of Australia.
On a more serious note...Australia is having some serious issues right now, with the flooding in Queensland verging on Biblical proportions. The government of Queensland is organizing flood relief. It's rare that I post this sort of thing, but today is Australia Day, and I'm their Princess, so I felt that it was appropriate. That is one hell of a lot of water, and they're going to need one hell of a lot of buckets to clean it all up.
So thank you for existing, Australia. Today is your day. Your venomous, deadly, kicking-your-ass, being eaten by koalas day.
Hooray Australia!
(*I have a list containing a holiday for every single day of the year. Some days have more than one holiday listed. The world needs more excuses for a party.)