aftermath of a parental "talk"
ok sorry about the lack of updates lately, but things have actually been going fine…great actually. i love all of my classes for lifeguarding. my schedule’s levels 1, 4, 2, and pre. pre is usually a one-on-one class, and for that one i have the cutest little pre named caitlyn, and her major breakthrough for the day was moving from jumping off of the wall holding on to two of my fingers to jumping all by herself into my arms. ok and say it with me, awwwe how cute!
calc has been going well, i got a b on the last exam, which is already waaaayyyy better then what i was getting on my midterms last semester. and the one speed reading class that i've had so far was stupid. i don't need help reading 200 page paperbacks. i need helpd with college level textbooks. urg!
but onward to the news of the moment. i had another one of my "talks" with my parents tonight. they seem to think that i'm not doing enough hw even though i finish all of my hw for calc the night it's assigned. no, they want all of the problems in the book done. my dad's settling with letting me do only the odds, but, if he had his way, i'd be doing the evens too. apparently when he was in college he somehow got a hold of a teacher's copy of the book and so he had the answers to all of the problems. so he did them all.
i've come to the conclusion that my parents were both one of the amazing people that actually got close to a 4.0 when they graduated from college. well either that or they just aren't mentioning any of their stories where they didn't receive an a in the class, but i'm not gonna ask what their gpa was bec i have a feeling that if it is actually good then they'll just gloat and if it was bad they'll pretend not to remember. and so anyways, since they were so perfect, or at least viewed themselves as such, they expect nothing less then perfection from me. which is completely unfair! my dad is of the opinion that in real life their are only a's and f's, and everyone who doesn't get and a in college will get an f and will end up working in retail for the rest of their lives making $10 and hour. my dad is also of the opinion that i'm going to fail out of college. he seems to think that bec my cousin diana did, and since i failed one class, of course i'm just like her, so i'm going to flunk out too. the worst part is i can't tell if my mom believes him or not in this bec i feel like my parents have lost all faith in me. and that's much worse then failing one class. they treat me like i'm a first grader that needs to be told to do their hw. i can do my hw all on my own thank you very much. i don't need their help on this, and when i do, i'll come to them for whatever that may be....actually that's not true i've been so mad at my dad lately that i've resolved not to ask him for any help on my calc hw when i need it (which includes how to work my new fancy-shmancy graphing calculator that i got, i was only the last person on the planet taking upper level math courses to get one).
and on that note, that's why i cannot come home next summer. i can't handle much more of this. the official breaking point of when christina will snap into a zillion and one little tiny pieces has been long since reached. i don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore. i don't want to hate my parents. i don't want to wish that my home wasn't my home.
but I do.