Y is for Yet, part two
Alec was not back the night after that, either, and Max started to get worried. Ben said nothing, just watched her with burning eyes. She was afraid that he’d open his mouth and ask if they could leave Alec behind. She was worried that he’d ask that damn question again, that same fucking question that he always asked. That question that makes a liar out of her again and again. She was afraid that he’d make her choose. Max didn't know if she was ready yet to shatter all of Ben’s beliefs.
It was Ben that was out the third night; the night that Alec came back in with the fires of hell swirling in his eyes.
“Where the hell have you been?!” Max demanded.
Alec shoved past her, making his way through the barren apartment to his silent room. It's raining outside, and he was dripping wet, leaking all over the floor that hadn't seen a real carpet in ages. Was he really stupid enough to actually walk home in the misery of the hard summer storm?
“Alec, where have you-“ She stormed angrily after him, into the bedroom, but fell still, silent, as she watched him stuffing his few meager possessions into a standard army issue duffel bag. “Alec?”
“I got picked up by the police.” He snarled. He paused, one wet fist clenching in a soft t-shirt. His head turned, and he glared at her over his shoulder with dark eyes, full of wrath. “For murder.”
Max staggered backwards, leaning into the doorway. “Cale,” She breathed.
“Not for Cale,” Alec turned back to the duffel and stuffed the shirt in. She thought he was going to leave it at that, leave it at a mystery, but he fell still and stared hard at the bed. “I need to know about your childhood, Max.”
“What?” He’d never asked before, why would he-
He turned to look at her with deep, dark eyes that already knew too much. How did he know so much? Water ran in rivulets down a somber face. “I need to know what really happened in the woods the day that Lydecker sent you after that convict.”
Max froze.
How did he know about that? She had never told anybody. How could he know? Her fingers tightened on the doorframe, her voice was strangled. “We stopped him from getting to the fence,” and that’s all she would say, tense and unhappy, her heart slowing in her chest.
“Really?” Alec demanded, his duffel abandoned, his shoulders squared beneath his clinging blue t-shirt. “Because that’s not what the rumors were. The rumors back at good old Manticore was that it was much, much more than that.”
Her face twisted, her anger started to build, shame started crawling into her hands. Memories. Flashes of white. Trees. Running. Blood, everywhere. On her face. Her stomach churned and she was forced to turn away. “I don’t know what you’re -”
His simple statement cut off her breath, her denial. “I was picked up for the murder of a Catholic priest.”
She was like a statue of ice, frozen in time, muscles locked in disbelief and fear and knowing. Alec was watching her, his face grim. His tone was almost conversational. “The poor bastard had had his teeth ripped out of his head.”
There was the denial. The slight shaking of the head. Maybe it was more than denial. Maybe it was memory.
He took a small step forward, and she hunched into herself, unable to move away but still protecting herself from the awful truth as best she could. Alec sighed. And then, as if he could make her see-
“I was positively i.d.’ed, Max.”
That's what finally broke her silence. “No,” She whispered.
Alec wouldn’t put up with it. “He killed a man, Max!” And, even worse- “And he was fucking seen!”
She shook her head, tried to shake away the truth. “We kill men all the time.” She said, and Christ, even her voice was shaking.
“Not like this we don’t.” He replied grimly. “I saw the pictures. They were only too happy to parade them out in front of me when they were trying to get me to confess.” Alec shook his head, and though he was supposedly making his fortune on death, even he couldn’t control the disgust. “This wasn’t business, Max, this was sport.”
His hands curled around her shoulders and he whipped her around. Forced her to face him. "I told you. I told you, Max, the minute it crossed that line, the minute it went too far, that I was out."
"No one ever asked you to follow us out of Kezmekistan," She snapped back, shaking free of his tight grasp, her mind unable to register anything other than the fact that it seemed like she was under attack. "Or to even start working with us."
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" He demanded. "You think you found me in that shithole bar? I hunted you down. You two were amateurs. Somebody had to step in and lead."
"And it was you!" Her finger dug into his chest. "Who is it that finds the targets? Who is is that inks the contracts? You! So stop acting like you're so faultless. It's not like you're some goddamn saint!"
Alec stared hard at her for a long moment. She resisted the urge to squirm under his harsh stare. He finally spoke, and his voice filled the room, filled her ears, felt like it was echoing all around her. "What he's doing crosses a level of sick and wrong we can't even comprehend, and you know it."
Maybe she wilted... maybe just a little.
"Maybe it wasn't him," She whispered, looked away.
Alec made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. He turned from her, went back to his duffel, and stuffed the last of his clothes in.
“We can’t stay here. His fucking blood games will lead the police right to our doorstep, and then it’s goodbye freedom. And that’s only assuming he won’t turn on us.”
“He wouldn’t do that-“ She started to argue.
“Open your goddamn eyes,” Alec roared, turning on her once more, his patience fraying momentarily. “He’s flipped. He’s not your brother, he’s a psychopath!”
He was both, and had been so since they’d been children. “I can’t leave him.” She whispered, stricken. “I have to take care of him.”
Alec took a calming breath, running a mostly dry palm down a damp face, before focusing on her once more. “Ben is broken, Max. He’s so goddamn broken, I don’t think even you can fix him. And one thing’s for sure,” He finished with a voice of steel. “I won’t leave you with him.”
“Then don’t leave,” She snapped back, not really knowing what else to say.
It was only with great effort that Alec remained calm, and he continued, as if he were talking to a child. “We can’t stay. The man is a ticking time bomb, and I don’t want to be around when he finally explodes.”
“He hasn’t hurt us yet,” She argued in a last ditch effort.
She thought he’d mastered his anger, but apparently he’d only been controlling it, and only barely, because it came bursting back out. “Yet? Yet?! It’s always fucking ‘yet’ with you, Max! What are you waiting for, the day he shows up with pliers in hand and a bag with our names on it?”
Her hand caught him across the cheek, and she didn’t feel bad, because he was a bastard and he deserved it.
Alec laughed, slightly, face turned away, red in the shape of a handprint blooming across his cheek. “That’s always the answer for you, isn’t it? Beat it to a bloody pulp, ignore it, and hope it never comes back to bite you in the ass.” Her hand raised again, arced towards his face, but he caught her wrist easily and he stared hard at her.
“We’ve known each other for two years, Max. And we've been playing this you-and-me, back-and-forth game for over a year. And we never talked about it, never questioned what we were doing, not once. I think it’s time we started, and you get the first question.” Alec’s eyes were still turbulent, still angry, but suddenly there was something soft behind them. “Ask me why I’m here, Max.”
She doesn’t have to ask. She already knows, or at least she thinks she does, even if she wishes she didn’t.
“How the hell should I know?” She ripped her hand away and turned from him, moving through the apartment quickly, trying to escape him. She didn’t get far before his hands connected with her shoulders and he stopped her gently, spoke softly to the back of her head.
“I think part of you does.”
Her eyes close slowly. He’s here for her. He’s always been here for her. She’s the only reason he’s stayed, the only reason he’s never left. As much as he hates Ben, whatever it is he feels for her, it is something greater, something that keeps him tied to the life that he's not sure he wants anymore. A life that she's not sure she wants anymore. She longs for Italy. For the beach and the bar and the yellow house by the sea; Alec lounging in a white open collared shirt, and smiles that aren't strained, eyes that aren't checking around the corner for a brother that is always watching, always waiting. His voice pulled her from the dream.
“I can’t play this game with you forever, Max.” He spun her easily, staring solemnly into wide, brown eyes. “One day I’ll get tired of waiting.”
Her mouth worked soundlessly. A part of her knew that she should kick him out now, say goodbye and good riddance and it’d just be her and Ben, and maybe that’s all Ben needed to be normal again, the absence of Alec…
But she… she couldn’t… no, she wouldn’t, and wasn’t capable of, giving up Alec. Not even for her deteriorating brother.
Her mouth was dry, and it took every ounce of strength in her body to force the words out of an unwilling throat. “What do you propose we do?”
He swallowed, and for a moment, there was a blind panic in his eyes. Like he knew what he was about to say could cost him everything. It confused Max. He’d sort of admitted how he felt about her, what else could he possibly have left to fear?
Whatever that something was that frightened him, honesty suddenly seemed more important, and he said it anyway. Took the gamble that could cost him everything. “…I know a guy... He could take care of it for us.”
And what the hell was that supposed to mean?
“What?!” Max demanded. “What do you mean by that? I am not letting some stranger kill my brother, Alec-“
"What, would you rather do it yourself?" Alec interrupted, shaking his head. “Besides, that’s not what I’m saying.” So what was he saying? He seemed to be having a hard time spitting it out. Finally, he took the plunge. “Lydecker could take care of it.”
Max’s brain shut down for a good long moment. “Lydecker?” She asked in numb disbelief. Her face twisted in horror. “You mean Colonel, fucking Manticore, Lydecker?!”
Alec pretended he couldn’t see her rising horror, her growing anger. “If anyone can fix Ben, Max, it’s Manticore.” And if anyone could put Ben down, it would be them as well.
There were so many things she could say. So many arguments she could make. The cold, numb feeling was suffusing her mind, though, and everything seemed so surreal. She heard her voice as if it came from someone, somewhere, else. It was just as cold, numb, empty, as she felt. “And how would you know how to contact Colonel Lydecker?”
Did he really need to answer? His silence was enough.
Her hand gripped weakly at her stomach. Oh God, she felt sick. Like she might vomit. Like she’d found a viper in her den, and it’d been in her bed all along. It was suddenly all so clear... All this time…
She’d been such an idiot to trust him! Ben had been right all those years ago. 494 had switched sides too quickly. How could she have bought his bullshit line about wanting his own life; wanting out of Manticore’s tight grip. His face, the face of her brother, it had made her trust him too easily after he’d woken up from unconsciousness and found her again in Kezmekistan. His smile, a smile only his, a smile that had always gone straight to her toes- He could she have trusted him? She glanced up at him, eyes widening. Oh God, how many lies had he fed her? How many targets had he found for them? How many of those targets had been fed to him through the Manticore pipeline? Christ. Two years; she’d been doing Manticore’s dirty work for two years and she’d never even known it. She’d been living off their money, everything she had was theirs; the clothes, the cars, this shithole apartment... even her beautiful yellow house by the sea… She felt like she wanted to cry.
She’d been the perfect fucking operative; the kind that didn’t even know she existed. Her fingers gripped convulsively over her abdomen; maybe she really was going to be sick.
Alec’s soft voice shocked her from her thoughts and the roiling nausea. “I’m sick of it, Max. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of the killing, sick of being Manticore’s puppet. Cale was the last straw. With Ben gone-“
Her hand dropped away from her stomach as she found a reserve of strength. “With Ben gone, the only one left for you to hand over to Manticore would be me.” Her eyes swung up to him. “And that’s what they want, isn’t it?”
“What?” He seemed surprised. “No! If they wanted us back, we wouldn’t have much say in the matter.”
“You mean you wouldn’t.” She replied sourly.
Alec frowned in response. “Do you get how much bigger than us they are? You think I want to play trained dog? I told you, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it and I’m done, Max.”
Her voice was cold. “And when have I heard that before?” Alec started, maybe in guilt. Max continued, her voice flat, almost dead. “Ben was right. I should have killed you in that damn alleyway in Kezmekistan. I never should have trusted you.”
Alec could have wilted in shame. But there was an inner strength to him, a core of steel, that she had forgotten about. His gaze firmed. “Yeah, we can play this bullshit ‘what if’ game all night. I’ll even let you cry pretty little tears of remorse if you want and pretend like I feel ashamed about every time I fucked you white-eyed on Manticore's dime.” Max gaped in disbelief. Alec continued, his eyes hard. “But that doesn’t change the way things are now. We killed a good man this week, Max, on Manticore’s say so. And Ben killed another one just for fun. I really am through, and with or without you, I’m leaving, and I’m running as far from Seattle, from Manticore, as I can get.”
She could hurt him. Make him pay for his lies. But really, she didn’t have that kind of strength. Damn it, why couldn’t feelings just disappear. Her face was hard as she turned from him. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Never as strong as she wished she could be, she had to reach out and steady herself on the bar. There was a long pause before she finally heard him turn, slowly, start walking towards the door. Another pause. Please don’t say anything, she begged him silently, her eyes shutting. Just let me learn to hate you.
His voice wasn't angry anymore. It was soft, like he knew it was asking too much to expect her forgiveness. “Just…” He sighed, a heaving thing. “Just, be careful, Max.” She heard the wry, pained smile in his voice as he undoubtedly looked away. “You know I worry about you.”
And then he was gone, the door shutting gently behind him and she was free to sink to the floor, clutch at the edge of the bar, and stare blankly at nothing, willing herself not to cry, never to cry. A hysterical thought burbled through the nothingness of her numbness; he’d left his duffel in the bedroom.
Stupid. So fucking stupid. Had it only been a few minutes ago that she’d told herself that Alec was the one thing, the only thing, that she would never give up for Ben? But who was Alec? A persona created by Manticore, one that she’d given a name? Alec was a lie, an agent put into her life by her enemies. Alec didn’t exist, and it was foolish to mourn him.
The first tear fell, and then the next, and even squeezing her eyes shut wouldn’t stop the relentless drip drop of pain.
But the door slammed back open, and Max almost jumped in surprise, turning watery brown eyes to the entrance. Alec was angry, his hazel eyes raw and sparking with fire and emotion and so many things she couldn’t put name to. He couldn’t have gotten farther than the rickety old stairwell before he’d turned around. She opened her mouth. He beat her to it.
“If you think I’m leaving you alone with him, you’re just as crazy as he is!” He scowled. “I love you, you crazy bitch, and I’m not leaving this goddamn apartment without you.”
She wanted to laugh. She wanted to yell. She wanted to punch him in the face. She couldn’t do anything, because he’d stalked across the floor, dropped to a crouch, captured her face with his hands, and he was kissing her like he meant it, all of it, the crazy L word the most.
“What the hell are you doing?” The voice was harsh, but it did not come from Max, busy as she was desperately returning Alec’s ravaging kiss. It was Ben in the doorway, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side.
Alec had never been, and never would be, cowed by Ben. He released Max slowly, stared searchingly into her eyes, just for a moment, and finally turned, stood, and faced his twin.
“Kissing your sister,” Alec replied, solemn. “What’s it look like?” And before Max or Ben could get angry, or, more accurately, angrier, he went back to his room, whistling a jaunty tune, like everything wasn’t fucked, like he hadn’t turned their whole world on its ear. Max stared in disbelief at his backside, turned back to look at Ben who’d walked across the room and was crouching before her. Ben reached forward, tentatively, and she suppressed the urge to rip away when his fingers touched her warm, bruised lips, just for a moment.
“I don’t like when he touches you.” It was almost a mumble. Max wondered if Ben even knew that he said it. She stared at him, wide-eyed. Ben’s eyes refocused on her face, on her eyes, still wet with tears. “I’ll take care of this, Maxie.” He vowed. “I’ll fix this. I’ll never let him hurt you again.”
Max froze. “What do you mean by that?”
Ben smiled slightly, reaching forward again, his hand moving towards the side of her face. She winced away and he frowned. After a moment, he let his hand drop. His voice was firm. “I’ll take care of it, Maxie. It’ll go back to the way it’s supposed to be. Just you and me.” Ben nodded to himself, and stood, smiling down at her. “Just you and me, forever.” He turned abruptly walking away, leaving Max to stare wide-eyed after after him; after a man that, somehow, somewhere, had gone terribly wrong.
Which is how Max ended up in Alec’s room, hardening herself to the cold guilt growing in her belly. “Make the call,” She said solemnly.
He stared at her, his eyes grave, and he didn’t make a smart ass comment, just nodded, for which she was grateful. She didn’t think she could handle anything more right now. She still hadn’t forgiven him for his lies, nor did she know if she ever would, but Alec pulled out his cellphone, and she pretended that she felt more than just relief. God she hated him. Hated him so much for lying to her... but she wasn't strong enough; she was no more capable of giving him up than she was of standing by and letting Ben threaten him.
Max didn’t know the particulars of the plan. Just knew that it was going to be staged somehow, a hand off in the middle of the day in some corner street alleyway in the abandoned city center; deep within the toxic confines of Terminal City. Alec told her firmly that she wasn’t to be anywhere remotely near the site; he wasn’t taking the chance that Lydecker reneged on their long-standing agreement and decided to take them all back into the loving arms of Manticore. She'd have argued with him, but she was hardly talking to him.
And for two days she walked on eggshells of guilt and fear, worried that Ben might sense what was happening, worried that one day she would come back to their temporary apartment and Alec’s blood would be everywhere and Ben would be cackling to himself in a corner. Her morbid thoughts, driven by her guilt and her fear, weren’t always based on the soundest of logics, but that didn’t make them any less chilling. It was the longest two days of her life, waiting for the day that she betrayed her brother, and when the day of the handoff finally came, she didn’t know whether to weep or to vomit, the stress had her coiled in so many knots.
But things in Max’s life never went smoothly. Max had taken to sleeping in the one leather arm chair that graced their tired old apartment; she hated the men in her life too much right now to do otherwise. And on the day of the exchange, she woke up to find Ben gone. When Ben left, who knew when he would be back. Sometimes it would be hours. Sometimes it would be days.
Alec shared a worried glanced with her when they found him missing. It was the first time she'd been able to look in his eyes since he'd made the call two days ago. And who knew how Lydecker would take it if Ben didn’t show back up. But he did, later that afternoon, and he frowned into Alec’s neutral face with a surprising sense of calmness and normalcy surrounding him.
“What do you mean, new job? How come I haven’t heard about it before this?”
“When do I ever tell you ahead of time?” Alec replied in seeming boredom. “You never seem to care anyway. Thought you were just in if for the thrill.”
Ben pursed full lips, thinking, and Max had to look away from a face that seemed so sane. She’d grown up with him… escaped with him… was she really going to hand him back to those bastards? Did she really have a choice, anymore?
“You comin’, Max?” He paused in the door.
She had to turn. All she could do was shake her head. She couldn’t bear to say goodbye; didn’t really know how. Alec glanced at her ashen face as he followed Ben out the door. “I’ll see you tonight.”
She nodded.
It was supposed to be smooth, seamless, last less than an hour. Max didn’t hear from Alec for close on to two hours, and then it was a short, clipped message.
“I’m at the hand-off site. He fucking knows.” And then the line went dead and Max’s heart stopped. She broke every traffic law in existence, and nearly ran over more than one sector guard, but she made it to TC in record time. She made it to TC just in time to see the white government van drive away and Alec pick himself off the ground of the dirty alleyway, bleeding, a cut above his eyebrow, somebody else’s blood on his knuckles. And all she could do was thank God. He was safe. He was a bastard and she hated him, but he was safe and she'd never been so relieved in her entire life. She flipped the kickstand, turning off the bike, and lifted herself off of the Ninja, crossing to him quickly, crouching next to him so she could help him to his feet.
“Are you okay?” She demanded angrily. “What the hell happened? How did he know?”
Alec shook his head, muted, staggered just a bit; apparently Ben had given him a good fight. Her eyes followed the white van as it disappeared around a corner, and she swallowed painfully.
“It’s fine,” Alec rasped, shaking his head. “It’s for the best, Max.” And before she could protest, he leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to her mouth. He pulled away after only a moment, no time at all, really.
As much as she should hate him, Max folded herself into his arms, needing the contact, just for a few seconds. He sighed and buried his face in her hair. His hand crested on the top of her dark head, slid down, over her dark hair…
And tightened on the back of her neck.
Max froze.
Alec’s smile into her hair had turned dark, almost evil. “Did you really think it would be that easy, Maxie?”
Not Alec. “Ben.”
He didn’t let got of her. She’d never been more aware of her spine than she was at that moment, the back of her neck held so securely in his tight hand.
His voice was a hiss against her ear. “Did you think I’d let him take you from me?”
She thought of the kiss he’d pressed to her lips and bile rose in her throat. His hand squeezed and she felt something in her neck shift and some small noise of fear crashed out of her throat. His smile widened and his grip relaxed in pleasure, just a hair.
That’s all she needed. Her arms arced upwards, coming up between his and breaking his lock as she simultaneously ducked. His grip tightened, but her neck had escaped his grasp and it was hair that his fingers dug into. He yanked, hard, and she did cry out then, but she wasted no time in slamming her elbow, hard, upwards, and between his knees.
He grunted in pain, releasing her totally, and Max scrambled away, coming to her feet. Even as he crashed to the ground, he reached for her, but Max kicked at his hand and put herself a safe distance from the monster that had once been her brother. How much had she given up for him over the years? Never had she asked for anything back, and now he’s taken from her the one thing she wanted, the one thing she’d told herself she could not give up for hm.
Ben’s laugh was wheezing as he peered at her stricken face with pain-filled eyes. “Why so shocked?” His voice was laced with agony. “Who do you think Manticore wanted back, Max? The broken toy?" He paused to wheeze, to wince, before continuing. "Nooo, they didn't want me. They wanted their golden boy back, their perfect little puppet, the one making plans to run.”
Alec. Alec, they’d taken Alec. The white van was gone, and Alec was in it. Her voice was shaking. “I’ll never forgive you for this.”
Another wheezing laugh. “Maxie... you’re mine. You’ll always be mine. He’ll never be able to take you from-“ Her boot caught him in the stomach, the force of it sending him rolling. But he laughed again, clutching at his abdomen. Jesus. Who was he?
“I’ll get him back,” Max said grimly, and Ben’s laugh finally died. He stared at her like one might a fascinating animal that refused to fall in with his plans.
“He’s gone.” Ben said, sounding almost confused. “You’ll never see him again. It’s just you and me now, Maxie.”
“I’ll get him back,” Max repeated firmly, staring coldly down at her brother. “And if I ever see you again, I will kill you.”
His voice was dark as she turned her back on him. “But you’re mine.” But she kept on walking, trotting almost, towards her bike, towards a machine that she hoped had enough gas to catch up with that van. Ben’s voice rose in a manic state of fury, “You’ll always be mine.”
Too late she heard the safety click off. Too late she recognized the manic tones of a madman. Too late, too late, she was always too late. She always told Alec ‘yet’, she never thought ‘yet’ would actually come. She whirled, so fast, too slow, and her wide brown eyes connected with narrowed hazel over the barrel of a gun. The first shot rang out... the bullet went whizzing by her hip, she heard it tear through rubber on one of the wheels of her bike. Slowly, so slowly, the muzzle of the gun moved just slightly... aimed straight at her.
Her heart was so loud in her ears, she could feel the sweat above her brows, did all of this really happen in an instant?
The second gunshot rang out, and Max’s eyes closed. Her breath came out in a slow rush, loud in the silence.
But the pain never came. The liquid that you felt, the blood that started seeping before you registered the agony, where was it? She couldn’t feel it. Her eyes opened in surprise and she glanced at her body. Her whole, uninjured body. She glanced back up in surprise.
Ben was rocking himself on the ground, clutching his bleeding hand, gasping in pain. The gun was on the ground by his side, by something that an unhappy flip of her stomach told her was surely one of his fingers.
“You thought you could beat me? Me?” Alec was leaning against the side of the building, clutching pained ribs with one hand, the other holding onto the gun hanging loosely by his side. “I’m the hero of this story, you crazy fuck.”
The laugh that came out of Max was a strange mixture of joy and despair, beginnings and endings, and the tears of anger and relief were almost as painful as the knowledge that the brother that she’d once loved, the brother she could no longer care for, would rather see her dead than happy.
“Alec,” She gasped in a hiccupping kind of sob. It was all she was capable of saying.
Alec wouldn’t look at her. His face was grim. He pushed himself away from the wall, slowly, limping his way towards Max… and then past. His eyes didn’t leave Ben, and his hand tightened on the gun in his hand, still by his side. Max’s face drained of color. “Alec,” She repeated, but in a different kind of tone, and she caught his arm.
Alec kept his eyes on Ben as he kicked the other man’s gun away from his prone form. “It’s for the best, Max. If we let him go, we’ll never be free of him.”
“And if you kill me,” Ben’s smile was quirked, his eyes still narrowed in pain, squinting up at a blue sky. “Max will never forgive you.” He rolled to his side, pushed himself up on one elbow. Blood seeped from between his fingers, still clenching his injured hand. “Doesn’t matter what you do. You’ll always just be a copy of me.” Alec hesitated slightly, Max could feel it in his arm. Ben must have seen it as a chance to continue, and his voice was relentless and hateful. “When she looks at you, she’ll see me. She’ll see how she failed me.” Something within Max was taken aback as well. Ben smiled, slowly. “And when she finally leaves you, you’ll have to live with the fact that she’ll always love me more.”
Alec narrowed his eyes. Not even Max’s transgenic strength could stop him from raising the gun and training it on Ben. Ben smiled over the barrel of cold steel. “Do it.” Ben's chin lifted in defiance. “Prove me right. Prove that you’re just like me… Prove that she can never love you.”
Alec took a deep breath. Max’s breath caught. His finger tightened on the trigger…
And relaxed. He turned to Max, slumping, his voice turning whiny and pleading. “Please can I kill him?”
Max gaped in shock. Even Ben looked a little taken aback.
“What? Don’t ask her permission!” Ben struggled to sit back up. Max kicked him in the shoulder, sending him back down.
“Shut up,” She snarled at her brother, before turning back to her lover. “No, you can’t kill him. He’s just lying there… helpless.”
“I am not-“
“SHUT UP!” Max and Alec turned to snarl at him before turning back towards each other.
“Look,” Alec frowned. “If we don’t kill him, he’ll follow us, and I’m pretty sure that he’ll try to kill us at some point.”
Ben nodded agreeably from the ground, his eyes lighting with an unholy fire, but neither of them noticed.
“And if I do let you kill him,” Max argued back. “I’ll have to live with that memory for the rest of my life.” Ben smirked. But Max turned on him, snarling, “But don’t think that means I’m not extremely tempted to let him.”
She crouched next to him and their eyes connected. Her voice, when it came, was hard. “Alec and I are leaving. I never want to see you again. And if I do see you…" She trailed off, her eyes going distant. "Maybe you're right; maybe if I let Alec kill you, I'd never be able to look at him the same way again. So I won't..." Her eyes snapped back to him. "I won't let him kill you, because if I see you again, if you threaten him again, I'll kill you myself. And I'll just have to learn how to live with that.” There wasn’t even an ounce of hesitation in her voice. Ben seemed taken aback. He was so surprised, he stared at the spot she had been crouching at long after she’d stood back up and walked back to Alec, who was already limping away.
She ducked under his shoulder and he winced. Broken rib probably. She supported him as best she could, helping him stumble out of the alleyway. They were almost at the entrance when Ben’s soft, broken voice stopped them.
“But… I love you, Maxie.”
Her eyes softened as she stared unblinking into the open street before her. She smiled, small and sad.
“I don’t love you, Ben. I don’t think I even know you.”
That could have been it, but Ben’s eyes deadened. His face hardened.
“I will find you.” He scowled, collapsing back into the pavement, nursing his bleeding hand. His scowl turned upwards into a slow smile. “And when I do, I’ll kill him in front of you.”
Max froze. Her dark eyes turned to ice. Her face was grim as they stepped out of the alleyway into the street. They only took a few steps away from the entrance before she let let Alec stagger a bit, let him lean against the front of the building in the open street. “Wait here,” She said gently. “I’m going back for the gun.”
“What,” Alec attempted to straighten, wincing when his ribs protested. Fucking Manticore trainers… All of ‘em hit like they were hyped up on crack. Speaking of which, they should probably get out of here before Lydecker started wondering why his retrieval team wasn’t answering their radio. “Max, don’t go back there.”
“Please,” Max rolled her eyes. “You heard him, Alec. He wants to kill you, not me.”
“I’m pretty sure I stopped him from shooting you a few minutes ago,” Alec replied incredulously.
It’s funny how her kiss could always shut him up. “It’ll be fine,” She whispered against his mouth. “I’ll be right back.”
Alec sighed, leaning back into the building, his eyes shutting, the pain racing through his body making time warp and weave in strange ways. How long was he alone there?
How long did he rest with his eyes closed before the gunshot made him straighten, eyes snapping open, heart climbing to his throat.
Fuck.
Max.
No.
He staggered away from the building, it was only a few steps away, why was it taking so long to get to the fucking alleyway. His hand tightened on the corner, he pulled himself straight and tall and-
Almost ran into Max.
“Jesus!”
“Alec,” Max’s face was concerned. His face was white and drawn, panicked almost. “Are you okay?!”
He staggered backwards, clutching his chest, willing his heart to calm. “Christ, Max! I heard the gun go off! I thought-“ He shook his head. “I thought-“ But he was unable to finish the thought, the idea of Max, dead, still, unseeing, it was too much and he couldn’t say it aloud.
“It’s fine,” She sighed. She held the gun aloft in her hand. “See? Max has the gun, everything is fine.”
“Ben-“ Alec started.
“It’s fine.” She repeated firmly. “We had a talk. I made it clear that the one thing he would most definitely not be doing would be hurting you.”
Alec stared at her blinking. Before smiling large. “Oh Max, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.”
“I can’t believe I love an idiot like you,” Max muttered back darkly. Alec stared at her, shell-shocked. "What?" She hunched into herself defensively. "Don't think that means I forgive you for lying to me for two years, you jackass."
He couldn't help the smile. His arm descended around her shoulder once more and her annoyance was forgotten as she struggled to help him limp down the street and out of Terminal City. The smile fell. His voice was strange and soft. "We're all broken, you know."
"What?"
"Nothing," He sighed. Then added, “I miss Italy.”
Her eyes were distant. He wondered if she even heard him.
“Hmm? What?” She glanced up at him, before shaking her head, her face firming, her mind going back to the long walk ahead of them. “Oh. Yeah. Me too.”
Not like they could go back there, not anymore. But Alec's voice was almost tentative. "You know, I'm not really a good man, Max..." She glanced at him, but he kept his eye on the wavering street before him. "Not all the jobs we took came from Manticore... I don't think they know about even half of the houses we own." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, and if there was shame there, she couldn't see it through her small smile and the vision of a simple yellow house, overlooking the sea.
Epilogue
She checked in the bags. He took another long pull from the glass. Alec had always hated flying. One of those weird idiosyncrasies of his. Man wasn’t scared of anything… except for big planes and small spaces. And that’s the only way he caught it.
He leaned forward over the bar, his gaze narrowing. “Hey pal, can you turn it up?”
The bartender rolled his eyes, but turned up the volume anyway.
-body of the suspected killer was recovered from Terminal City earlier this week. Authorities have only recently released that the man, in his early twenties, had been shot at point blank range. With recent budget cuts, investigation remains-
Alec backed out of his lean, frowning slightly.
“Crazy world, huh?” The bartender shook his head slightly. “Whack jobs all over the place… The new Eyes Only exposing that weird Manti-thingy…”
Alec blinked… “I’m sorry, what was that last thing?”
“You know…” The man blinked. “What you live under a rock or something? Eyes Only got replaced by some dame or something. Started talking about some weird government lab out in the middle of nowhere that were cooking up some weird genetic super soldiers. Transgenics or something. She started preaching some S1W bull after that, so I turned it off, but-”
“Almost done, Alec?” Max’s arms descended around his shoulders as she leaned over him, smiling slightly into his blank face. “Don’t tell me you’re still scared…”
“No, no.” He shook his head, stared again at the tv, just for a moment. Finally he shrugged, and stood, pulling his wallet free and dropping some bills on the bar. “Keep the change man. Europe doesn’t recognize the dollar anyway.”
The bartender sighed as the couple walked away, the man’s arm slung over the woman’s shoulder. Some people have it all you know… But he stopped in a strange voyeuristic type of surprise as the man kissed the woman’s dark hair and said in an unashamed tone, loud enough for anyone to hear. “I really do love you, you know? Even if you are a crazy bitch.”
She shrugged in response, not at all turned off, and turned a smile up at him. “You just have that effect on me, I guess.”
....A/N: What... did you think that after that long with living only with Ben she was completely the same person?.
Erm... I felt like doing something different? Could get totally revamped before it makes it's way to FF.net... but it probably won't. It's got everything I like. Sex, violence, angst, one or two moments of squee and of crack... Hmm... dunno.
It was Ben that was out the third night; the night that Alec came back in with the fires of hell swirling in his eyes.
“Where the hell have you been?!” Max demanded.
Alec shoved past her, making his way through the barren apartment to his silent room. It's raining outside, and he was dripping wet, leaking all over the floor that hadn't seen a real carpet in ages. Was he really stupid enough to actually walk home in the misery of the hard summer storm?
“Alec, where have you-“ She stormed angrily after him, into the bedroom, but fell still, silent, as she watched him stuffing his few meager possessions into a standard army issue duffel bag. “Alec?”
“I got picked up by the police.” He snarled. He paused, one wet fist clenching in a soft t-shirt. His head turned, and he glared at her over his shoulder with dark eyes, full of wrath. “For murder.”
Max staggered backwards, leaning into the doorway. “Cale,” She breathed.
“Not for Cale,” Alec turned back to the duffel and stuffed the shirt in. She thought he was going to leave it at that, leave it at a mystery, but he fell still and stared hard at the bed. “I need to know about your childhood, Max.”
“What?” He’d never asked before, why would he-
He turned to look at her with deep, dark eyes that already knew too much. How did he know so much? Water ran in rivulets down a somber face. “I need to know what really happened in the woods the day that Lydecker sent you after that convict.”
Max froze.
How did he know about that? She had never told anybody. How could he know? Her fingers tightened on the doorframe, her voice was strangled. “We stopped him from getting to the fence,” and that’s all she would say, tense and unhappy, her heart slowing in her chest.
“Really?” Alec demanded, his duffel abandoned, his shoulders squared beneath his clinging blue t-shirt. “Because that’s not what the rumors were. The rumors back at good old Manticore was that it was much, much more than that.”
Her face twisted, her anger started to build, shame started crawling into her hands. Memories. Flashes of white. Trees. Running. Blood, everywhere. On her face. Her stomach churned and she was forced to turn away. “I don’t know what you’re -”
His simple statement cut off her breath, her denial. “I was picked up for the murder of a Catholic priest.”
She was like a statue of ice, frozen in time, muscles locked in disbelief and fear and knowing. Alec was watching her, his face grim. His tone was almost conversational. “The poor bastard had had his teeth ripped out of his head.”
There was the denial. The slight shaking of the head. Maybe it was more than denial. Maybe it was memory.
He took a small step forward, and she hunched into herself, unable to move away but still protecting herself from the awful truth as best she could. Alec sighed. And then, as if he could make her see-
“I was positively i.d.’ed, Max.”
That's what finally broke her silence. “No,” She whispered.
Alec wouldn’t put up with it. “He killed a man, Max!” And, even worse- “And he was fucking seen!”
She shook her head, tried to shake away the truth. “We kill men all the time.” She said, and Christ, even her voice was shaking.
“Not like this we don’t.” He replied grimly. “I saw the pictures. They were only too happy to parade them out in front of me when they were trying to get me to confess.” Alec shook his head, and though he was supposedly making his fortune on death, even he couldn’t control the disgust. “This wasn’t business, Max, this was sport.”
His hands curled around her shoulders and he whipped her around. Forced her to face him. "I told you. I told you, Max, the minute it crossed that line, the minute it went too far, that I was out."
"No one ever asked you to follow us out of Kezmekistan," She snapped back, shaking free of his tight grasp, her mind unable to register anything other than the fact that it seemed like she was under attack. "Or to even start working with us."
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" He demanded. "You think you found me in that shithole bar? I hunted you down. You two were amateurs. Somebody had to step in and lead."
"And it was you!" Her finger dug into his chest. "Who is it that finds the targets? Who is is that inks the contracts? You! So stop acting like you're so faultless. It's not like you're some goddamn saint!"
Alec stared hard at her for a long moment. She resisted the urge to squirm under his harsh stare. He finally spoke, and his voice filled the room, filled her ears, felt like it was echoing all around her. "What he's doing crosses a level of sick and wrong we can't even comprehend, and you know it."
Maybe she wilted... maybe just a little.
"Maybe it wasn't him," She whispered, looked away.
Alec made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. He turned from her, went back to his duffel, and stuffed the last of his clothes in.
“We can’t stay here. His fucking blood games will lead the police right to our doorstep, and then it’s goodbye freedom. And that’s only assuming he won’t turn on us.”
“He wouldn’t do that-“ She started to argue.
“Open your goddamn eyes,” Alec roared, turning on her once more, his patience fraying momentarily. “He’s flipped. He’s not your brother, he’s a psychopath!”
He was both, and had been so since they’d been children. “I can’t leave him.” She whispered, stricken. “I have to take care of him.”
Alec took a calming breath, running a mostly dry palm down a damp face, before focusing on her once more. “Ben is broken, Max. He’s so goddamn broken, I don’t think even you can fix him. And one thing’s for sure,” He finished with a voice of steel. “I won’t leave you with him.”
“Then don’t leave,” She snapped back, not really knowing what else to say.
It was only with great effort that Alec remained calm, and he continued, as if he were talking to a child. “We can’t stay. The man is a ticking time bomb, and I don’t want to be around when he finally explodes.”
“He hasn’t hurt us yet,” She argued in a last ditch effort.
She thought he’d mastered his anger, but apparently he’d only been controlling it, and only barely, because it came bursting back out. “Yet? Yet?! It’s always fucking ‘yet’ with you, Max! What are you waiting for, the day he shows up with pliers in hand and a bag with our names on it?”
Her hand caught him across the cheek, and she didn’t feel bad, because he was a bastard and he deserved it.
Alec laughed, slightly, face turned away, red in the shape of a handprint blooming across his cheek. “That’s always the answer for you, isn’t it? Beat it to a bloody pulp, ignore it, and hope it never comes back to bite you in the ass.” Her hand raised again, arced towards his face, but he caught her wrist easily and he stared hard at her.
“We’ve known each other for two years, Max. And we've been playing this you-and-me, back-and-forth game for over a year. And we never talked about it, never questioned what we were doing, not once. I think it’s time we started, and you get the first question.” Alec’s eyes were still turbulent, still angry, but suddenly there was something soft behind them. “Ask me why I’m here, Max.”
She doesn’t have to ask. She already knows, or at least she thinks she does, even if she wishes she didn’t.
“How the hell should I know?” She ripped her hand away and turned from him, moving through the apartment quickly, trying to escape him. She didn’t get far before his hands connected with her shoulders and he stopped her gently, spoke softly to the back of her head.
“I think part of you does.”
Her eyes close slowly. He’s here for her. He’s always been here for her. She’s the only reason he’s stayed, the only reason he’s never left. As much as he hates Ben, whatever it is he feels for her, it is something greater, something that keeps him tied to the life that he's not sure he wants anymore. A life that she's not sure she wants anymore. She longs for Italy. For the beach and the bar and the yellow house by the sea; Alec lounging in a white open collared shirt, and smiles that aren't strained, eyes that aren't checking around the corner for a brother that is always watching, always waiting. His voice pulled her from the dream.
“I can’t play this game with you forever, Max.” He spun her easily, staring solemnly into wide, brown eyes. “One day I’ll get tired of waiting.”
Her mouth worked soundlessly. A part of her knew that she should kick him out now, say goodbye and good riddance and it’d just be her and Ben, and maybe that’s all Ben needed to be normal again, the absence of Alec…
But she… she couldn’t… no, she wouldn’t, and wasn’t capable of, giving up Alec. Not even for her deteriorating brother.
Her mouth was dry, and it took every ounce of strength in her body to force the words out of an unwilling throat. “What do you propose we do?”
He swallowed, and for a moment, there was a blind panic in his eyes. Like he knew what he was about to say could cost him everything. It confused Max. He’d sort of admitted how he felt about her, what else could he possibly have left to fear?
Whatever that something was that frightened him, honesty suddenly seemed more important, and he said it anyway. Took the gamble that could cost him everything. “…I know a guy... He could take care of it for us.”
And what the hell was that supposed to mean?
“What?!” Max demanded. “What do you mean by that? I am not letting some stranger kill my brother, Alec-“
"What, would you rather do it yourself?" Alec interrupted, shaking his head. “Besides, that’s not what I’m saying.” So what was he saying? He seemed to be having a hard time spitting it out. Finally, he took the plunge. “Lydecker could take care of it.”
Max’s brain shut down for a good long moment. “Lydecker?” She asked in numb disbelief. Her face twisted in horror. “You mean Colonel, fucking Manticore, Lydecker?!”
Alec pretended he couldn’t see her rising horror, her growing anger. “If anyone can fix Ben, Max, it’s Manticore.” And if anyone could put Ben down, it would be them as well.
There were so many things she could say. So many arguments she could make. The cold, numb feeling was suffusing her mind, though, and everything seemed so surreal. She heard her voice as if it came from someone, somewhere, else. It was just as cold, numb, empty, as she felt. “And how would you know how to contact Colonel Lydecker?”
Did he really need to answer? His silence was enough.
Her hand gripped weakly at her stomach. Oh God, she felt sick. Like she might vomit. Like she’d found a viper in her den, and it’d been in her bed all along. It was suddenly all so clear... All this time…
She’d been such an idiot to trust him! Ben had been right all those years ago. 494 had switched sides too quickly. How could she have bought his bullshit line about wanting his own life; wanting out of Manticore’s tight grip. His face, the face of her brother, it had made her trust him too easily after he’d woken up from unconsciousness and found her again in Kezmekistan. His smile, a smile only his, a smile that had always gone straight to her toes- He could she have trusted him? She glanced up at him, eyes widening. Oh God, how many lies had he fed her? How many targets had he found for them? How many of those targets had been fed to him through the Manticore pipeline? Christ. Two years; she’d been doing Manticore’s dirty work for two years and she’d never even known it. She’d been living off their money, everything she had was theirs; the clothes, the cars, this shithole apartment... even her beautiful yellow house by the sea… She felt like she wanted to cry.
She’d been the perfect fucking operative; the kind that didn’t even know she existed. Her fingers gripped convulsively over her abdomen; maybe she really was going to be sick.
Alec’s soft voice shocked her from her thoughts and the roiling nausea. “I’m sick of it, Max. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of the killing, sick of being Manticore’s puppet. Cale was the last straw. With Ben gone-“
Her hand dropped away from her stomach as she found a reserve of strength. “With Ben gone, the only one left for you to hand over to Manticore would be me.” Her eyes swung up to him. “And that’s what they want, isn’t it?”
“What?” He seemed surprised. “No! If they wanted us back, we wouldn’t have much say in the matter.”
“You mean you wouldn’t.” She replied sourly.
Alec frowned in response. “Do you get how much bigger than us they are? You think I want to play trained dog? I told you, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it and I’m done, Max.”
Her voice was cold. “And when have I heard that before?” Alec started, maybe in guilt. Max continued, her voice flat, almost dead. “Ben was right. I should have killed you in that damn alleyway in Kezmekistan. I never should have trusted you.”
Alec could have wilted in shame. But there was an inner strength to him, a core of steel, that she had forgotten about. His gaze firmed. “Yeah, we can play this bullshit ‘what if’ game all night. I’ll even let you cry pretty little tears of remorse if you want and pretend like I feel ashamed about every time I fucked you white-eyed on Manticore's dime.” Max gaped in disbelief. Alec continued, his eyes hard. “But that doesn’t change the way things are now. We killed a good man this week, Max, on Manticore’s say so. And Ben killed another one just for fun. I really am through, and with or without you, I’m leaving, and I’m running as far from Seattle, from Manticore, as I can get.”
She could hurt him. Make him pay for his lies. But really, she didn’t have that kind of strength. Damn it, why couldn’t feelings just disappear. Her face was hard as she turned from him. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Never as strong as she wished she could be, she had to reach out and steady herself on the bar. There was a long pause before she finally heard him turn, slowly, start walking towards the door. Another pause. Please don’t say anything, she begged him silently, her eyes shutting. Just let me learn to hate you.
His voice wasn't angry anymore. It was soft, like he knew it was asking too much to expect her forgiveness. “Just…” He sighed, a heaving thing. “Just, be careful, Max.” She heard the wry, pained smile in his voice as he undoubtedly looked away. “You know I worry about you.”
And then he was gone, the door shutting gently behind him and she was free to sink to the floor, clutch at the edge of the bar, and stare blankly at nothing, willing herself not to cry, never to cry. A hysterical thought burbled through the nothingness of her numbness; he’d left his duffel in the bedroom.
Stupid. So fucking stupid. Had it only been a few minutes ago that she’d told herself that Alec was the one thing, the only thing, that she would never give up for Ben? But who was Alec? A persona created by Manticore, one that she’d given a name? Alec was a lie, an agent put into her life by her enemies. Alec didn’t exist, and it was foolish to mourn him.
The first tear fell, and then the next, and even squeezing her eyes shut wouldn’t stop the relentless drip drop of pain.
But the door slammed back open, and Max almost jumped in surprise, turning watery brown eyes to the entrance. Alec was angry, his hazel eyes raw and sparking with fire and emotion and so many things she couldn’t put name to. He couldn’t have gotten farther than the rickety old stairwell before he’d turned around. She opened her mouth. He beat her to it.
“If you think I’m leaving you alone with him, you’re just as crazy as he is!” He scowled. “I love you, you crazy bitch, and I’m not leaving this goddamn apartment without you.”
She wanted to laugh. She wanted to yell. She wanted to punch him in the face. She couldn’t do anything, because he’d stalked across the floor, dropped to a crouch, captured her face with his hands, and he was kissing her like he meant it, all of it, the crazy L word the most.
“What the hell are you doing?” The voice was harsh, but it did not come from Max, busy as she was desperately returning Alec’s ravaging kiss. It was Ben in the doorway, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side.
Alec had never been, and never would be, cowed by Ben. He released Max slowly, stared searchingly into her eyes, just for a moment, and finally turned, stood, and faced his twin.
“Kissing your sister,” Alec replied, solemn. “What’s it look like?” And before Max or Ben could get angry, or, more accurately, angrier, he went back to his room, whistling a jaunty tune, like everything wasn’t fucked, like he hadn’t turned their whole world on its ear. Max stared in disbelief at his backside, turned back to look at Ben who’d walked across the room and was crouching before her. Ben reached forward, tentatively, and she suppressed the urge to rip away when his fingers touched her warm, bruised lips, just for a moment.
“I don’t like when he touches you.” It was almost a mumble. Max wondered if Ben even knew that he said it. She stared at him, wide-eyed. Ben’s eyes refocused on her face, on her eyes, still wet with tears. “I’ll take care of this, Maxie.” He vowed. “I’ll fix this. I’ll never let him hurt you again.”
Max froze. “What do you mean by that?”
Ben smiled slightly, reaching forward again, his hand moving towards the side of her face. She winced away and he frowned. After a moment, he let his hand drop. His voice was firm. “I’ll take care of it, Maxie. It’ll go back to the way it’s supposed to be. Just you and me.” Ben nodded to himself, and stood, smiling down at her. “Just you and me, forever.” He turned abruptly walking away, leaving Max to stare wide-eyed after after him; after a man that, somehow, somewhere, had gone terribly wrong.
Which is how Max ended up in Alec’s room, hardening herself to the cold guilt growing in her belly. “Make the call,” She said solemnly.
He stared at her, his eyes grave, and he didn’t make a smart ass comment, just nodded, for which she was grateful. She didn’t think she could handle anything more right now. She still hadn’t forgiven him for his lies, nor did she know if she ever would, but Alec pulled out his cellphone, and she pretended that she felt more than just relief. God she hated him. Hated him so much for lying to her... but she wasn't strong enough; she was no more capable of giving him up than she was of standing by and letting Ben threaten him.
Max didn’t know the particulars of the plan. Just knew that it was going to be staged somehow, a hand off in the middle of the day in some corner street alleyway in the abandoned city center; deep within the toxic confines of Terminal City. Alec told her firmly that she wasn’t to be anywhere remotely near the site; he wasn’t taking the chance that Lydecker reneged on their long-standing agreement and decided to take them all back into the loving arms of Manticore. She'd have argued with him, but she was hardly talking to him.
And for two days she walked on eggshells of guilt and fear, worried that Ben might sense what was happening, worried that one day she would come back to their temporary apartment and Alec’s blood would be everywhere and Ben would be cackling to himself in a corner. Her morbid thoughts, driven by her guilt and her fear, weren’t always based on the soundest of logics, but that didn’t make them any less chilling. It was the longest two days of her life, waiting for the day that she betrayed her brother, and when the day of the handoff finally came, she didn’t know whether to weep or to vomit, the stress had her coiled in so many knots.
But things in Max’s life never went smoothly. Max had taken to sleeping in the one leather arm chair that graced their tired old apartment; she hated the men in her life too much right now to do otherwise. And on the day of the exchange, she woke up to find Ben gone. When Ben left, who knew when he would be back. Sometimes it would be hours. Sometimes it would be days.
Alec shared a worried glanced with her when they found him missing. It was the first time she'd been able to look in his eyes since he'd made the call two days ago. And who knew how Lydecker would take it if Ben didn’t show back up. But he did, later that afternoon, and he frowned into Alec’s neutral face with a surprising sense of calmness and normalcy surrounding him.
“What do you mean, new job? How come I haven’t heard about it before this?”
“When do I ever tell you ahead of time?” Alec replied in seeming boredom. “You never seem to care anyway. Thought you were just in if for the thrill.”
Ben pursed full lips, thinking, and Max had to look away from a face that seemed so sane. She’d grown up with him… escaped with him… was she really going to hand him back to those bastards? Did she really have a choice, anymore?
“You comin’, Max?” He paused in the door.
She had to turn. All she could do was shake her head. She couldn’t bear to say goodbye; didn’t really know how. Alec glanced at her ashen face as he followed Ben out the door. “I’ll see you tonight.”
She nodded.
It was supposed to be smooth, seamless, last less than an hour. Max didn’t hear from Alec for close on to two hours, and then it was a short, clipped message.
“I’m at the hand-off site. He fucking knows.” And then the line went dead and Max’s heart stopped. She broke every traffic law in existence, and nearly ran over more than one sector guard, but she made it to TC in record time. She made it to TC just in time to see the white government van drive away and Alec pick himself off the ground of the dirty alleyway, bleeding, a cut above his eyebrow, somebody else’s blood on his knuckles. And all she could do was thank God. He was safe. He was a bastard and she hated him, but he was safe and she'd never been so relieved in her entire life. She flipped the kickstand, turning off the bike, and lifted herself off of the Ninja, crossing to him quickly, crouching next to him so she could help him to his feet.
“Are you okay?” She demanded angrily. “What the hell happened? How did he know?”
Alec shook his head, muted, staggered just a bit; apparently Ben had given him a good fight. Her eyes followed the white van as it disappeared around a corner, and she swallowed painfully.
“It’s fine,” Alec rasped, shaking his head. “It’s for the best, Max.” And before she could protest, he leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to her mouth. He pulled away after only a moment, no time at all, really.
As much as she should hate him, Max folded herself into his arms, needing the contact, just for a few seconds. He sighed and buried his face in her hair. His hand crested on the top of her dark head, slid down, over her dark hair…
And tightened on the back of her neck.
Max froze.
Alec’s smile into her hair had turned dark, almost evil. “Did you really think it would be that easy, Maxie?”
Not Alec. “Ben.”
He didn’t let got of her. She’d never been more aware of her spine than she was at that moment, the back of her neck held so securely in his tight hand.
His voice was a hiss against her ear. “Did you think I’d let him take you from me?”
She thought of the kiss he’d pressed to her lips and bile rose in her throat. His hand squeezed and she felt something in her neck shift and some small noise of fear crashed out of her throat. His smile widened and his grip relaxed in pleasure, just a hair.
That’s all she needed. Her arms arced upwards, coming up between his and breaking his lock as she simultaneously ducked. His grip tightened, but her neck had escaped his grasp and it was hair that his fingers dug into. He yanked, hard, and she did cry out then, but she wasted no time in slamming her elbow, hard, upwards, and between his knees.
He grunted in pain, releasing her totally, and Max scrambled away, coming to her feet. Even as he crashed to the ground, he reached for her, but Max kicked at his hand and put herself a safe distance from the monster that had once been her brother. How much had she given up for him over the years? Never had she asked for anything back, and now he’s taken from her the one thing she wanted, the one thing she’d told herself she could not give up for hm.
Ben’s laugh was wheezing as he peered at her stricken face with pain-filled eyes. “Why so shocked?” His voice was laced with agony. “Who do you think Manticore wanted back, Max? The broken toy?" He paused to wheeze, to wince, before continuing. "Nooo, they didn't want me. They wanted their golden boy back, their perfect little puppet, the one making plans to run.”
Alec. Alec, they’d taken Alec. The white van was gone, and Alec was in it. Her voice was shaking. “I’ll never forgive you for this.”
Another wheezing laugh. “Maxie... you’re mine. You’ll always be mine. He’ll never be able to take you from-“ Her boot caught him in the stomach, the force of it sending him rolling. But he laughed again, clutching at his abdomen. Jesus. Who was he?
“I’ll get him back,” Max said grimly, and Ben’s laugh finally died. He stared at her like one might a fascinating animal that refused to fall in with his plans.
“He’s gone.” Ben said, sounding almost confused. “You’ll never see him again. It’s just you and me now, Maxie.”
“I’ll get him back,” Max repeated firmly, staring coldly down at her brother. “And if I ever see you again, I will kill you.”
His voice was dark as she turned her back on him. “But you’re mine.” But she kept on walking, trotting almost, towards her bike, towards a machine that she hoped had enough gas to catch up with that van. Ben’s voice rose in a manic state of fury, “You’ll always be mine.”
Too late she heard the safety click off. Too late she recognized the manic tones of a madman. Too late, too late, she was always too late. She always told Alec ‘yet’, she never thought ‘yet’ would actually come. She whirled, so fast, too slow, and her wide brown eyes connected with narrowed hazel over the barrel of a gun. The first shot rang out... the bullet went whizzing by her hip, she heard it tear through rubber on one of the wheels of her bike. Slowly, so slowly, the muzzle of the gun moved just slightly... aimed straight at her.
Her heart was so loud in her ears, she could feel the sweat above her brows, did all of this really happen in an instant?
The second gunshot rang out, and Max’s eyes closed. Her breath came out in a slow rush, loud in the silence.
But the pain never came. The liquid that you felt, the blood that started seeping before you registered the agony, where was it? She couldn’t feel it. Her eyes opened in surprise and she glanced at her body. Her whole, uninjured body. She glanced back up in surprise.
Ben was rocking himself on the ground, clutching his bleeding hand, gasping in pain. The gun was on the ground by his side, by something that an unhappy flip of her stomach told her was surely one of his fingers.
“You thought you could beat me? Me?” Alec was leaning against the side of the building, clutching pained ribs with one hand, the other holding onto the gun hanging loosely by his side. “I’m the hero of this story, you crazy fuck.”
The laugh that came out of Max was a strange mixture of joy and despair, beginnings and endings, and the tears of anger and relief were almost as painful as the knowledge that the brother that she’d once loved, the brother she could no longer care for, would rather see her dead than happy.
“Alec,” She gasped in a hiccupping kind of sob. It was all she was capable of saying.
Alec wouldn’t look at her. His face was grim. He pushed himself away from the wall, slowly, limping his way towards Max… and then past. His eyes didn’t leave Ben, and his hand tightened on the gun in his hand, still by his side. Max’s face drained of color. “Alec,” She repeated, but in a different kind of tone, and she caught his arm.
Alec kept his eyes on Ben as he kicked the other man’s gun away from his prone form. “It’s for the best, Max. If we let him go, we’ll never be free of him.”
“And if you kill me,” Ben’s smile was quirked, his eyes still narrowed in pain, squinting up at a blue sky. “Max will never forgive you.” He rolled to his side, pushed himself up on one elbow. Blood seeped from between his fingers, still clenching his injured hand. “Doesn’t matter what you do. You’ll always just be a copy of me.” Alec hesitated slightly, Max could feel it in his arm. Ben must have seen it as a chance to continue, and his voice was relentless and hateful. “When she looks at you, she’ll see me. She’ll see how she failed me.” Something within Max was taken aback as well. Ben smiled, slowly. “And when she finally leaves you, you’ll have to live with the fact that she’ll always love me more.”
Alec narrowed his eyes. Not even Max’s transgenic strength could stop him from raising the gun and training it on Ben. Ben smiled over the barrel of cold steel. “Do it.” Ben's chin lifted in defiance. “Prove me right. Prove that you’re just like me… Prove that she can never love you.”
Alec took a deep breath. Max’s breath caught. His finger tightened on the trigger…
And relaxed. He turned to Max, slumping, his voice turning whiny and pleading. “Please can I kill him?”
Max gaped in shock. Even Ben looked a little taken aback.
“What? Don’t ask her permission!” Ben struggled to sit back up. Max kicked him in the shoulder, sending him back down.
“Shut up,” She snarled at her brother, before turning back to her lover. “No, you can’t kill him. He’s just lying there… helpless.”
“I am not-“
“SHUT UP!” Max and Alec turned to snarl at him before turning back towards each other.
“Look,” Alec frowned. “If we don’t kill him, he’ll follow us, and I’m pretty sure that he’ll try to kill us at some point.”
Ben nodded agreeably from the ground, his eyes lighting with an unholy fire, but neither of them noticed.
“And if I do let you kill him,” Max argued back. “I’ll have to live with that memory for the rest of my life.” Ben smirked. But Max turned on him, snarling, “But don’t think that means I’m not extremely tempted to let him.”
She crouched next to him and their eyes connected. Her voice, when it came, was hard. “Alec and I are leaving. I never want to see you again. And if I do see you…" She trailed off, her eyes going distant. "Maybe you're right; maybe if I let Alec kill you, I'd never be able to look at him the same way again. So I won't..." Her eyes snapped back to him. "I won't let him kill you, because if I see you again, if you threaten him again, I'll kill you myself. And I'll just have to learn how to live with that.” There wasn’t even an ounce of hesitation in her voice. Ben seemed taken aback. He was so surprised, he stared at the spot she had been crouching at long after she’d stood back up and walked back to Alec, who was already limping away.
She ducked under his shoulder and he winced. Broken rib probably. She supported him as best she could, helping him stumble out of the alleyway. They were almost at the entrance when Ben’s soft, broken voice stopped them.
“But… I love you, Maxie.”
Her eyes softened as she stared unblinking into the open street before her. She smiled, small and sad.
“I don’t love you, Ben. I don’t think I even know you.”
That could have been it, but Ben’s eyes deadened. His face hardened.
“I will find you.” He scowled, collapsing back into the pavement, nursing his bleeding hand. His scowl turned upwards into a slow smile. “And when I do, I’ll kill him in front of you.”
Max froze. Her dark eyes turned to ice. Her face was grim as they stepped out of the alleyway into the street. They only took a few steps away from the entrance before she let let Alec stagger a bit, let him lean against the front of the building in the open street. “Wait here,” She said gently. “I’m going back for the gun.”
“What,” Alec attempted to straighten, wincing when his ribs protested. Fucking Manticore trainers… All of ‘em hit like they were hyped up on crack. Speaking of which, they should probably get out of here before Lydecker started wondering why his retrieval team wasn’t answering their radio. “Max, don’t go back there.”
“Please,” Max rolled her eyes. “You heard him, Alec. He wants to kill you, not me.”
“I’m pretty sure I stopped him from shooting you a few minutes ago,” Alec replied incredulously.
It’s funny how her kiss could always shut him up. “It’ll be fine,” She whispered against his mouth. “I’ll be right back.”
Alec sighed, leaning back into the building, his eyes shutting, the pain racing through his body making time warp and weave in strange ways. How long was he alone there?
How long did he rest with his eyes closed before the gunshot made him straighten, eyes snapping open, heart climbing to his throat.
Fuck.
Max.
No.
He staggered away from the building, it was only a few steps away, why was it taking so long to get to the fucking alleyway. His hand tightened on the corner, he pulled himself straight and tall and-
Almost ran into Max.
“Jesus!”
“Alec,” Max’s face was concerned. His face was white and drawn, panicked almost. “Are you okay?!”
He staggered backwards, clutching his chest, willing his heart to calm. “Christ, Max! I heard the gun go off! I thought-“ He shook his head. “I thought-“ But he was unable to finish the thought, the idea of Max, dead, still, unseeing, it was too much and he couldn’t say it aloud.
“It’s fine,” She sighed. She held the gun aloft in her hand. “See? Max has the gun, everything is fine.”
“Ben-“ Alec started.
“It’s fine.” She repeated firmly. “We had a talk. I made it clear that the one thing he would most definitely not be doing would be hurting you.”
Alec stared at her blinking. Before smiling large. “Oh Max, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.”
“I can’t believe I love an idiot like you,” Max muttered back darkly. Alec stared at her, shell-shocked. "What?" She hunched into herself defensively. "Don't think that means I forgive you for lying to me for two years, you jackass."
He couldn't help the smile. His arm descended around her shoulder once more and her annoyance was forgotten as she struggled to help him limp down the street and out of Terminal City. The smile fell. His voice was strange and soft. "We're all broken, you know."
"What?"
"Nothing," He sighed. Then added, “I miss Italy.”
Her eyes were distant. He wondered if she even heard him.
“Hmm? What?” She glanced up at him, before shaking her head, her face firming, her mind going back to the long walk ahead of them. “Oh. Yeah. Me too.”
Not like they could go back there, not anymore. But Alec's voice was almost tentative. "You know, I'm not really a good man, Max..." She glanced at him, but he kept his eye on the wavering street before him. "Not all the jobs we took came from Manticore... I don't think they know about even half of the houses we own." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, and if there was shame there, she couldn't see it through her small smile and the vision of a simple yellow house, overlooking the sea.
Epilogue
She checked in the bags. He took another long pull from the glass. Alec had always hated flying. One of those weird idiosyncrasies of his. Man wasn’t scared of anything… except for big planes and small spaces. And that’s the only way he caught it.
He leaned forward over the bar, his gaze narrowing. “Hey pal, can you turn it up?”
The bartender rolled his eyes, but turned up the volume anyway.
-body of the suspected killer was recovered from Terminal City earlier this week. Authorities have only recently released that the man, in his early twenties, had been shot at point blank range. With recent budget cuts, investigation remains-
Alec backed out of his lean, frowning slightly.
“Crazy world, huh?” The bartender shook his head slightly. “Whack jobs all over the place… The new Eyes Only exposing that weird Manti-thingy…”
Alec blinked… “I’m sorry, what was that last thing?”
“You know…” The man blinked. “What you live under a rock or something? Eyes Only got replaced by some dame or something. Started talking about some weird government lab out in the middle of nowhere that were cooking up some weird genetic super soldiers. Transgenics or something. She started preaching some S1W bull after that, so I turned it off, but-”
“Almost done, Alec?” Max’s arms descended around his shoulders as she leaned over him, smiling slightly into his blank face. “Don’t tell me you’re still scared…”
“No, no.” He shook his head, stared again at the tv, just for a moment. Finally he shrugged, and stood, pulling his wallet free and dropping some bills on the bar. “Keep the change man. Europe doesn’t recognize the dollar anyway.”
The bartender sighed as the couple walked away, the man’s arm slung over the woman’s shoulder. Some people have it all you know… But he stopped in a strange voyeuristic type of surprise as the man kissed the woman’s dark hair and said in an unashamed tone, loud enough for anyone to hear. “I really do love you, you know? Even if you are a crazy bitch.”
She shrugged in response, not at all turned off, and turned a smile up at him. “You just have that effect on me, I guess.”
....A/N: What... did you think that after that long with living only with Ben she was completely the same person?.
Erm... I felt like doing something different? Could get totally revamped before it makes it's way to FF.net... but it probably won't. It's got everything I like. Sex, violence, angst, one or two moments of squee and of crack... Hmm... dunno.