The univeral soldier was once very short

[sealwhiskers]

I have been thinking a lot over the last week and a half, living in my head. I do other things too, I write, I walk, I've proctored tests, I've hung out with friends and kissed the geek, but all along, there has been a part of me solidly living somewhere else. There has been so much anger, disappointment, on-the-fly solutions, musing from above or

Comments

[abomvubuso]

That boy is still there. Yes, the boy you never met but whom you knew so well. He's there, underneath all the layers of dust and scars that the years have piled over him. Never forget that. The boy who believed in what's right, is not gone. You just need to look somewhat closer, and you'll see him. You might be surprised.

[sealwhiskers]

The reason ppl sometimes don't look closer on those close ones who hurt them, is because they don't want to see parts of themselves looking back.

But yes, we agree. This post is a way for me to do that.

[abomvubuso]

No matter how he has hurt you, deep down he never meant it. I'm sure you know that. You're his flesh and blood. I'm sure he never forgets that thought.

[sealwhiskers]

You are kind, and certainly have a point, but I don't really want to make this about me, although it's of course impossible to separate on such a close range. I guess I mean to say that I'm not forever hurt or any such thing, it's just that our relationship is full of complications that probably will never fit into some happy family frame.

My attempts at honesty are as muddled as ever. :)

[abomvubuso]

Perfectly happy family frames are an utopia anyway. You only work with what you got available. But sorry if I'm digging too much.

[sealwhiskers]

No, you are being a good friend. This is just hard.

[abomvubuso]

[sealwhiskers]

Omigosh, kids and baby animals, I'm DONE FOR this Monday!!

[jedispice]

Having a complicated relationship with my mother, I can totally relate. I sometimes think about and try to reach the young woman she was, but she just isn't there anymore. To keep digging I will just hurt both her and myself.

[sealwhiskers]

It's a sad and frustrating feeling, rarely or never being able to reach that in a person you've known all your life. This post is my way of doing that, among other things...but I have to amend and say that my father still has that spark where you can see that young man. I forgot to mention it in the post, but he *does* light up and change when he hears music he likes, and when he sometimes picks up an instrument again and plays. He just rarely does it anymore.

[sealwhiskers]

He probably would recognize certain things, and be a bit embarrassed about the positives and offended by the negatives. But mostly embarrassed. :)