More Thoughts but I'm still not done
I've decided I don't like myself when I'm drunk, at leas tnot when I'm in uncontrollable beat up mode. I don't like scaring people. I feel friendless. Anyway, Brent got me high last night. I wanted to, but I didn't like it...again. I didn't want to talk. He's the opposite he tried to make me open up. Sometimes I wanted to cry. His head kept being somebody else. For a while I really thought I was talking to Jake, Sterling or James not Brent. It was confusing. I think I kept giving him these looks to make myself recognize him as Brent. I had no desire to socialize. He got me to laugh a little bit. We played video games. Visited his friends. I made him go the back way though because I didn't want to see people and I heard my friends outside. I did nothing in his friends room. I wanted to go to sleep. I made him promise me that he wouldn't let me go to bed without feeding my cat. So Eventually I just left and got my purse from his room. I walked in and Michelle, James and AStar were sitting there. I was just like "I'm going to bed." A-Star was like "She is going to bed!" With my finality I guess. So I fed Orion and they left and I hit the sack. Someone was tripping really bad though and I kept hearing screaming and glass breaking and it freaked me out. I had a dream about flying. I woke up this morning still depressed for some reason. On the drive here (I'm using Panera's internet) I cried. I'm just so tired of people?