was it always this way?
empty packs of cigarettes, crushed from residence in pockets and purses are littered across the table along open lyric sheets and bills thaat remain un-opened; all of which are collecting dust. smkoking inside while my mother is away, she will never notice anyway. Beer bottles heaped up passed the rim of the white plastic recycling bin and a taste that tells of their consumption lingering like a film of what I can only imagine mothballs would taste like over my toungue. loud music drowning out the lulling sounds of children clinging to their youths with laughter and the occasional screams; god knows why they would scream, sadly I almost can't remember what would provoke a scream besides sheer anger.
I haven't always been 22, I haven't always been this depressed drunken youngish man suspended in a night time loop: working, drinking, taking pills, consumating a wreck- I never could maintain this way for very long without eventually going supernova. It has to come out in some way, someday.
Or is this it? Your guess is as good as mine... I could never get out of here after all.
In all likely hood, this is just a brief moment doubt, manifesting itself as a nervous, cold expressioned examination of the things that are making me feel this way- working, drinking, taking pills, feeling stuck here-
but the thing to remember that I am working on that wreck
one day, I will break down and the outcome of that catastrophe will likely bring change, I just need to hold on and enjoy myself until it comes, someday
I haven't always been 22, I haven't always been this depressed drunken youngish man suspended in a night time loop: working, drinking, taking pills, consumating a wreck- I never could maintain this way for very long without eventually going supernova. It has to come out in some way, someday.
Or is this it? Your guess is as good as mine... I could never get out of here after all.
In all likely hood, this is just a brief moment doubt, manifesting itself as a nervous, cold expressioned examination of the things that are making me feel this way- working, drinking, taking pills, feeling stuck here-
but the thing to remember that I am working on that wreck
one day, I will break down and the outcome of that catastrophe will likely bring change, I just need to hold on and enjoy myself until it comes, someday