Latest Money-Making Idea
I'm going to write a new Mac commercial. The scripting seems pretty straighforward and easy to write, and they all follow the same general theme.
MAC:Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC :And I'm a PC. And I SUCK! I suck SO BAD! OMG you guys I so totally suck!
MAC:PC...
PC :Worst. Computer. EVAR.
Or, here's another:
MAC:Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC :And I'm a PC.
MAC:[Holds nose, waves hand in front of face]What... what are you covered in?
PC :Oh, it's just blood and vomit.
MAC:[Concerned] Are you all right?
PC :Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's from my users.
MAC:[shocked] Wh-what? What happened to them?
PC :Well, you know. Windows causes cancer.
MAC:I had no idea.
PC :Yeah. [tries vainly to wipe vomit from suit jacket lapel, but just smears it around] Oh, and at regular intervals, I shoot lethal razor-sharp shards of plastic at my users. And with Windows Vista, the shards are coated in a fast-acting neurotoxin that causes blindingly painful seizures as they bleed to death.
MAC:Wow.
PC :Listen to me rambling on. You know all this already. I'm sure you do similar things to your users.
MAC:Err, no. Macs don't kill their users. I don't harm them in any way.
[A few beats of silence, with PC and Mac looking at each other. The only sound is the squelching drips of blood and vomit dripping from PC's suit.]
PC :...great.
It's money in the bank, I tells ya.
MAC:Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC :And I'm a PC. And I SUCK! I suck SO BAD! OMG you guys I so totally suck!
MAC:PC...
PC :Worst. Computer. EVAR.
Or, here's another:
MAC:Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC :And I'm a PC.
MAC:[Holds nose, waves hand in front of face]What... what are you covered in?
PC :Oh, it's just blood and vomit.
MAC:[Concerned] Are you all right?
PC :Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's from my users.
MAC:[shocked] Wh-what? What happened to them?
PC :Well, you know. Windows causes cancer.
MAC:I had no idea.
PC :Yeah. [tries vainly to wipe vomit from suit jacket lapel, but just smears it around] Oh, and at regular intervals, I shoot lethal razor-sharp shards of plastic at my users. And with Windows Vista, the shards are coated in a fast-acting neurotoxin that causes blindingly painful seizures as they bleed to death.
MAC:Wow.
PC :Listen to me rambling on. You know all this already. I'm sure you do similar things to your users.
MAC:Err, no. Macs don't kill their users. I don't harm them in any way.
[A few beats of silence, with PC and Mac looking at each other. The only sound is the squelching drips of blood and vomit dripping from PC's suit.]
PC :...great.
It's money in the bank, I tells ya.