I need the "Hang In There" kitten
Oooh, I know that my journal entries have sadly stayed in my head. But I feel like I need to write this out. My mom and step-dad will be traveling to my location and beyond in one week - and it just pushed an issue to the forefront. In my family, the step-dad gets to push everyone’s boundary’s and generally not respect anybody. But usually, once one of us pushes back he gets his feelings all hurt. Then we are bad kids. So that usually makes it unadvisable to do anything… and we all know how much paralysis is. But he sent me an inflammatory anti-Kerry email (he sent it to several people)… I had asked my mom to not talk politics, and tell him to do the same. I just can’t handle the stress of it all. Well this morning he broke the rule and I broke my resolve to not let him get to me.
I emailed them both, asking once again to refrain from it… that I think there are plenty of good and healthy topics in life…. Ones that don’t involve hurting each other’s feelings. I have to say that he is in a way Oz… Oh I was worked up while writing the email, my heart racing, tears balancing on my lids…. Then he writes back and is fairly nice. But it could have gone either way… he could still act like a baby and not talk to me at all next week. I feel that I’m an adult and they might not want to extend respect to me, but in the end I need to give them no other options. It feels good now. It felt so very scary.
We all go through things like this in life, right? Obviously, different scenes -same theme. Becoming an adult, standing up to your parents, and in all that process how we handle it, how we learn from it is key to our spiritual growth. If I don’t learn the lesson with this, it will continue to make me feel bad… if I don’t absorb into every pore that I’m worthy of their respect and feel easily that I will expect nothing short of it… will my soul ever get it right? Ramblings… I don’t expect anyone to necessarily follow. I just needed to get it out.
I emailed them both, asking once again to refrain from it… that I think there are plenty of good and healthy topics in life…. Ones that don’t involve hurting each other’s feelings. I have to say that he is in a way Oz… Oh I was worked up while writing the email, my heart racing, tears balancing on my lids…. Then he writes back and is fairly nice. But it could have gone either way… he could still act like a baby and not talk to me at all next week. I feel that I’m an adult and they might not want to extend respect to me, but in the end I need to give them no other options. It feels good now. It felt so very scary.
We all go through things like this in life, right? Obviously, different scenes -same theme. Becoming an adult, standing up to your parents, and in all that process how we handle it, how we learn from it is key to our spiritual growth. If I don’t learn the lesson with this, it will continue to make me feel bad… if I don’t absorb into every pore that I’m worthy of their respect and feel easily that I will expect nothing short of it… will my soul ever get it right? Ramblings… I don’t expect anyone to necessarily follow. I just needed to get it out.