Agony and Ecstasy: The Fullmetal Iliad, Book 1 (Roy/Ed)
Title: Agony and Ecstasy: The Fullmetal Iliad (Book 1)
Author: priestess_grrrl
Series: FMA
Pairing: RoyxEd
Rating: NC-17, Book 1: PG-13
Warnings: Um, it’s the Iliad. Blood, death, war, angst. Major character deaths.
Apologies to: Homer, Robert Fagles, Hiromu Arakawa, Manowar for the title
Dedication: To rainjoyous, who shares my love of everything Classical and everything RoyxEd
Notes: For those of you whose knowledge of the Iliad is based on crappy movies starring Brad Pitt, you can read more about the actual story here. Names are written in transliterated Greek. Translated phrases are my own or borrowed from Robert Fagles. Adaptation based purely on artistic license. Anachronisms galore. Very much AU. Book divisions do not correspond directly to Homer.
The Cast of Characters
General Roy “Agamemnon” Mustang
Edward “Akhilles” Elric, the Fullmetal Warrior
Alphonse “Patroklos” Elric
Winry “Briseis” Rockbell, daughter of Hephaistos
Maes “Odysseus” Hughes
Jean “Menalaus” Havoc
Ajax Louis Armstrong
Lust, the most beautiful woman in the world
Scar Tamer of Horses
Paris, brother of Scar
The Goddess Hawkeyed Riza
The Goddess Silver-footed Trisha
The Story So Far
For nine long years the Amestrians have been at war with the Ishbalans. Ishbal is currently under siege, and the commander in chief of the Amestrian besiegers is General Roy Mustang. At the start of our story, we find General Mustang and Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Warrior, greatest of all the Amestrian warriors, at each other’s throats over a girl. The General has stolen Ed’s girlfriend, Winry, daughter of Hephaistos, since the previous girl he had stolen had to be sent back to her father, the act of thievery having apparently angered the Gods and caused a plague. Unsurprisingly, Edward does not take this well.
The Fullmetal Iliad
Book One: Agon ("Conflict")
Speak, O Goddess, of the wrath of Edward Elric, son of Hohenheim, the wrath which brought countless ills upon the Amestrians.
Begin, O Muse, when the two first broke and clashed, General Mustang Leader of Men and brilliant Edward Elric, Fullmetal Warrior.
***
Storming into General Mustang’s tent like a one man hurricane, swift-footed Edward Elric, known to all and sundry as the Fullmetal Warrior, climbed straight up onto the dais that was reserved for the General and his personal staff. To the absolute horror of everyone present, he stomped right up to General Mustang and spit directly into his face. Men had been burned alive for much, much less, but Roy held up his hand, stopping his soldiers from killing Ed on the spot. Though he was seething with anger at the public insult, he had to admire the young man’s guts. The truth was, Roy had provoked him on purpose by stealing his girlfriend just to see what he would do. Guess we’re about to find out.
“You fucking arrogant prick! You cocky two-faced son of a bitch! How dare you fucking take Winry away from me? Who the fuck do you think you are?”
The General raised his right hand and snapped his fingers. Immediately a servant appeared with a clean white handkerchief, which Roy unfolded with a dramatic flick of his wrist, then proceeded to very calmly clean his face. Another servant provided him with a bowl of scented water into which he delicately dipped his jeweled fingers. A third slave boy then knelt at the General’s side and unfurled his long hair, with which Roy made a show of drying his royal hands. Finally, he turned to the presumptuous brat who had dared insult him.
“I will tell you who I am. I am General Roy Mustang, Leader of Men, King of Mycenae, Commander in Chief of this expedition. I am also your commanding officer, to whom you owe respect, a fact that seems to have conveniently slipped your mind. The question is not who I am - everyone here is well aware of that - it is who are you, to come in here and offer me grave insult in front of my men like some common, insolent tramp? The question is, why should I not have you executed on the spot for being so incorrigibly rude?”
“Just you try it, you useless whoring bastard! You wanna know who I am? I’m the one doing your goddamned dirty work! I’m the one out there bloodied and filthy, fighting to exhaustion every day, while you’re busy trying to get yourself declared the Eighth Wonder of the Ancient World, the Manwhore of Babylon! Men are dropping left and right of the plague because their glorious commander refuses to give up his slutting privileges. And now that you’ve had to suck it up and admit it was all your fault, you want to take my girl away from me? Fuck you, asshole, no fucking way!”
Roy resisted the urge to roll his royal eyes. Frankly, he was sick to death being of being blamed for every stupid little thing that went wrong around here. How was he to know the girl’s father was a priest who would put some damned curse on the whole camp? Probably wasn’t even really a curse anyway; everyone was so goddamned paranoid about all that rot. But Roy had been good, hadn’t he? Eventually he’d relented, after Hughes had persuaded him that it was the right thing to do. Well, okay, maybe he should have listened to Hughes in the first place, but the point was, Roy was willing to make sacrifices just like everybody else. Hughes was taking her back to her father right now, damn it, and she had been really hot, too.
Truth be told, Roy was not above royally fucking shit up, as the saying went, so long as somewhere in the bargain he ended up with a fine piece of Amestrian ass. And it just so happened that the insufferable brat in front of him, spewing vitriol at a hundred miles an hour, was in possession of one. It had absolutely nothing to do with this Winry whoever-she-was. Roy hadn’t even seen her up close; she spent most of her time down at the forges covered in soot - clearly not his type.
No, Roy had orchestrated this entire little melodrama in order to witness the performance taking place in front of him at this very moment. Nostrils flaring, golden eyes blazing with unmatched fury, stalking back and forth across Roy’s imperial carpet like a caged panther, the Fullmetal Warrior was a glory to behold. Roy wanted him, plain and simple. He wanted to throw him down and fuck him in that sweet arse of his, right there on Roy’s red Persian rug, in front of the entire goddamned army. Unfortunately, the world didn’t work that way, not even for a king (an inadequacy which Roy sadly lamented).
Yet the very fact that he couldn’t snap his fingers and have the boy made him all the more enticing. The thrill of the chase, especially when it came to a ferocious, snarling, deliciously wild creature like this, was absolutely irresistible to Roy Mustang. As he watched Ed toss his fiery mane in sheer defiance, Roy had to force his mouth closed, resisting the urge to start panting in time with the impassioned cadence of his red-hot warrior’s rage.
It was official: the General was on the prowl. Like a skilled hunter poised high on the mountain top, he kept absolutely still, his bow drawn impossibly tight, strong muscles strained to their limit, waiting for the precise moment to strike with deadly accuracy. For a prize as glorious as this one he was willing to walk that razor’s edge where unbridled anger met unrestrained sexual aggression, to risk whipping the wild dog into a foaming frenzy, trusting in his own considerable prowess to navigate that delicate balance without pushing Edward over the edge and unleashing a colossal disaster upon them all.
It was dangerous; it was devious, and if Hughes were here, he would most certainly advise against it. But hopefully by the time Maes got back, everything would have already blown over, and Roy would be happily fucking Ed with no problems. Somehow that line of reasoning always seemed to end up with Maes punching him in the face and everything coming crashing down around his ears, but hey, a king could hope.
Meanwhile, the brat had not even remotely finished ranting. Roy sat back, reminding himself that it would be unseemly for a king to start drooling.
“What the fuck are we even doing in Ishbal? What the fuck do I care about the Ishbalans? Did any of them ever harm me, or my home, or my family? No. This is all some hyped up bullshit invented by you greedy royal bastards who are never fucking satisfied with what you have. Give me one fucking good reason why I should even stay here, taking orders from a self-centered jackass like you!”
Roy rose to his full height on his throne, emphasizing the fact that he was still a head taller than Edward, even though he was sitting and Ed was standing. “I am hardly begging you to stay. You are less than nothing to me. Go back to your miserable little country town, if that’s what you want to do. Just don’t blame me when they change your name to the Fullmetal Deserter.”
Ed whirled around, lightning quick, a terrifying noise like the screeching of the Hounds of Hell ringing out as he scraped his naked blade along the edge of the metal dais, sparks flying in a great arc. “How fast do you want to die, old man?”
Despite the fact that his heart was now pounding fiercely in his chest, Roy schooled his features to remain calm. Several of his soldiers had drawn their weapons and were now pointing them directly at Edward. Roy knew he was pushing it, but he couldn’t resist one last strike. Crossing his legs and propping himself up on one elbow, he smirked coyly at Ed as if they were sitting down to tea rather than exchanging death threats. “What I want to know is, what’s so special about this girl, anyway, that’s got you so fired up? From what my sources tell me, you’re not even fucking her. What’s up with that? Saving all your attentions for… brotherly love?”
A great many things happened at once. Edward leaped through the air like a great cat, heading straight for Roy, who realized too late that he was about to die. The General’s men rose to defend him, but they were abruptly blinded and thrown to the ground by the appearance of an all-powerful divine being.
The Goddess Hawkeyed Riza suddenly stood among them, grasping Edward by his fiery golden hair. Ed was squirming in her grip, squealing like a stuck pig. “Let me at him! I’ll fucking kill him! I’ll kill him dead for insulting my brother, I’ll kill him RIGHT NOW!!”
Thunder rang out as the Goddess shook Edward till he was quiet. “Peace, son of Hohenheim! Sheathe thy sword and cool thy baneful anger. Fighting amongst yourselves is useless. You men are pathetic: is this how you expect to win a war? By killing each other before you even breach the enemy’s walls?” Suddenly, she spun around, pointing her deadly spear directly at Roy’s head. “Something funny, General Mustang?”
Roy froze. He couldn’t help it: watching Ed flail like that had made him giggle. “N-no ma’am.” Frankly, the Goddess Riza scared the crap out of him. She always seemed to know what he was thinking, especially when he was up to no good. Plus he never knew when she might invent a new weapon even more terrifying than that spear to point at him. He shuddered at the thought.
“Mark my words: thy pride shall be the end of thee! Listen to thy advisor, for he is deep in my counsel and possesses greater wisdom than thou. And quit being such a manwhore already!”
Did the Goddess of Wisdom just call me a manwhore? Roy had no time to wonder whether or not he had been hallucinating: the Lady was gone. Edward scrambled to his feet; with a final scathing glance at Roy, he stormed out of the tent without a word.
Well, Roy wasn’t sure what all that was about. There was one thing he did know, however, as certain as the hot blood coursing through his veins: pride or no pride, Roy Mustang was going to fuck that boy or die trying.
Author: priestess_grrrl
Series: FMA
Pairing: RoyxEd
Rating: NC-17, Book 1: PG-13
Warnings: Um, it’s the Iliad. Blood, death, war, angst. Major character deaths.
Apologies to: Homer, Robert Fagles, Hiromu Arakawa, Manowar for the title
Dedication: To rainjoyous, who shares my love of everything Classical and everything RoyxEd
Notes: For those of you whose knowledge of the Iliad is based on crappy movies starring Brad Pitt, you can read more about the actual story here. Names are written in transliterated Greek. Translated phrases are my own or borrowed from Robert Fagles. Adaptation based purely on artistic license. Anachronisms galore. Very much AU. Book divisions do not correspond directly to Homer.
The Cast of Characters
General Roy “Agamemnon” Mustang
Edward “Akhilles” Elric, the Fullmetal Warrior
Alphonse “Patroklos” Elric
Winry “Briseis” Rockbell, daughter of Hephaistos
Maes “Odysseus” Hughes
Jean “Menalaus” Havoc
Ajax Louis Armstrong
Lust, the most beautiful woman in the world
Scar Tamer of Horses
Paris, brother of Scar
The Goddess Hawkeyed Riza
The Goddess Silver-footed Trisha
The Story So Far
For nine long years the Amestrians have been at war with the Ishbalans. Ishbal is currently under siege, and the commander in chief of the Amestrian besiegers is General Roy Mustang. At the start of our story, we find General Mustang and Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Warrior, greatest of all the Amestrian warriors, at each other’s throats over a girl. The General has stolen Ed’s girlfriend, Winry, daughter of Hephaistos, since the previous girl he had stolen had to be sent back to her father, the act of thievery having apparently angered the Gods and caused a plague. Unsurprisingly, Edward does not take this well.
The Fullmetal Iliad
Book One: Agon ("Conflict")
Speak, O Goddess, of the wrath of Edward Elric, son of Hohenheim, the wrath which brought countless ills upon the Amestrians.
Begin, O Muse, when the two first broke and clashed, General Mustang Leader of Men and brilliant Edward Elric, Fullmetal Warrior.
***
Storming into General Mustang’s tent like a one man hurricane, swift-footed Edward Elric, known to all and sundry as the Fullmetal Warrior, climbed straight up onto the dais that was reserved for the General and his personal staff. To the absolute horror of everyone present, he stomped right up to General Mustang and spit directly into his face. Men had been burned alive for much, much less, but Roy held up his hand, stopping his soldiers from killing Ed on the spot. Though he was seething with anger at the public insult, he had to admire the young man’s guts. The truth was, Roy had provoked him on purpose by stealing his girlfriend just to see what he would do. Guess we’re about to find out.
“You fucking arrogant prick! You cocky two-faced son of a bitch! How dare you fucking take Winry away from me? Who the fuck do you think you are?”
The General raised his right hand and snapped his fingers. Immediately a servant appeared with a clean white handkerchief, which Roy unfolded with a dramatic flick of his wrist, then proceeded to very calmly clean his face. Another servant provided him with a bowl of scented water into which he delicately dipped his jeweled fingers. A third slave boy then knelt at the General’s side and unfurled his long hair, with which Roy made a show of drying his royal hands. Finally, he turned to the presumptuous brat who had dared insult him.
“I will tell you who I am. I am General Roy Mustang, Leader of Men, King of Mycenae, Commander in Chief of this expedition. I am also your commanding officer, to whom you owe respect, a fact that seems to have conveniently slipped your mind. The question is not who I am - everyone here is well aware of that - it is who are you, to come in here and offer me grave insult in front of my men like some common, insolent tramp? The question is, why should I not have you executed on the spot for being so incorrigibly rude?”
“Just you try it, you useless whoring bastard! You wanna know who I am? I’m the one doing your goddamned dirty work! I’m the one out there bloodied and filthy, fighting to exhaustion every day, while you’re busy trying to get yourself declared the Eighth Wonder of the Ancient World, the Manwhore of Babylon! Men are dropping left and right of the plague because their glorious commander refuses to give up his slutting privileges. And now that you’ve had to suck it up and admit it was all your fault, you want to take my girl away from me? Fuck you, asshole, no fucking way!”
Roy resisted the urge to roll his royal eyes. Frankly, he was sick to death being of being blamed for every stupid little thing that went wrong around here. How was he to know the girl’s father was a priest who would put some damned curse on the whole camp? Probably wasn’t even really a curse anyway; everyone was so goddamned paranoid about all that rot. But Roy had been good, hadn’t he? Eventually he’d relented, after Hughes had persuaded him that it was the right thing to do. Well, okay, maybe he should have listened to Hughes in the first place, but the point was, Roy was willing to make sacrifices just like everybody else. Hughes was taking her back to her father right now, damn it, and she had been really hot, too.
Truth be told, Roy was not above royally fucking shit up, as the saying went, so long as somewhere in the bargain he ended up with a fine piece of Amestrian ass. And it just so happened that the insufferable brat in front of him, spewing vitriol at a hundred miles an hour, was in possession of one. It had absolutely nothing to do with this Winry whoever-she-was. Roy hadn’t even seen her up close; she spent most of her time down at the forges covered in soot - clearly not his type.
No, Roy had orchestrated this entire little melodrama in order to witness the performance taking place in front of him at this very moment. Nostrils flaring, golden eyes blazing with unmatched fury, stalking back and forth across Roy’s imperial carpet like a caged panther, the Fullmetal Warrior was a glory to behold. Roy wanted him, plain and simple. He wanted to throw him down and fuck him in that sweet arse of his, right there on Roy’s red Persian rug, in front of the entire goddamned army. Unfortunately, the world didn’t work that way, not even for a king (an inadequacy which Roy sadly lamented).
Yet the very fact that he couldn’t snap his fingers and have the boy made him all the more enticing. The thrill of the chase, especially when it came to a ferocious, snarling, deliciously wild creature like this, was absolutely irresistible to Roy Mustang. As he watched Ed toss his fiery mane in sheer defiance, Roy had to force his mouth closed, resisting the urge to start panting in time with the impassioned cadence of his red-hot warrior’s rage.
It was official: the General was on the prowl. Like a skilled hunter poised high on the mountain top, he kept absolutely still, his bow drawn impossibly tight, strong muscles strained to their limit, waiting for the precise moment to strike with deadly accuracy. For a prize as glorious as this one he was willing to walk that razor’s edge where unbridled anger met unrestrained sexual aggression, to risk whipping the wild dog into a foaming frenzy, trusting in his own considerable prowess to navigate that delicate balance without pushing Edward over the edge and unleashing a colossal disaster upon them all.
It was dangerous; it was devious, and if Hughes were here, he would most certainly advise against it. But hopefully by the time Maes got back, everything would have already blown over, and Roy would be happily fucking Ed with no problems. Somehow that line of reasoning always seemed to end up with Maes punching him in the face and everything coming crashing down around his ears, but hey, a king could hope.
Meanwhile, the brat had not even remotely finished ranting. Roy sat back, reminding himself that it would be unseemly for a king to start drooling.
“What the fuck are we even doing in Ishbal? What the fuck do I care about the Ishbalans? Did any of them ever harm me, or my home, or my family? No. This is all some hyped up bullshit invented by you greedy royal bastards who are never fucking satisfied with what you have. Give me one fucking good reason why I should even stay here, taking orders from a self-centered jackass like you!”
Roy rose to his full height on his throne, emphasizing the fact that he was still a head taller than Edward, even though he was sitting and Ed was standing. “I am hardly begging you to stay. You are less than nothing to me. Go back to your miserable little country town, if that’s what you want to do. Just don’t blame me when they change your name to the Fullmetal Deserter.”
Ed whirled around, lightning quick, a terrifying noise like the screeching of the Hounds of Hell ringing out as he scraped his naked blade along the edge of the metal dais, sparks flying in a great arc. “How fast do you want to die, old man?”
Despite the fact that his heart was now pounding fiercely in his chest, Roy schooled his features to remain calm. Several of his soldiers had drawn their weapons and were now pointing them directly at Edward. Roy knew he was pushing it, but he couldn’t resist one last strike. Crossing his legs and propping himself up on one elbow, he smirked coyly at Ed as if they were sitting down to tea rather than exchanging death threats. “What I want to know is, what’s so special about this girl, anyway, that’s got you so fired up? From what my sources tell me, you’re not even fucking her. What’s up with that? Saving all your attentions for… brotherly love?”
A great many things happened at once. Edward leaped through the air like a great cat, heading straight for Roy, who realized too late that he was about to die. The General’s men rose to defend him, but they were abruptly blinded and thrown to the ground by the appearance of an all-powerful divine being.
The Goddess Hawkeyed Riza suddenly stood among them, grasping Edward by his fiery golden hair. Ed was squirming in her grip, squealing like a stuck pig. “Let me at him! I’ll fucking kill him! I’ll kill him dead for insulting my brother, I’ll kill him RIGHT NOW!!”
Thunder rang out as the Goddess shook Edward till he was quiet. “Peace, son of Hohenheim! Sheathe thy sword and cool thy baneful anger. Fighting amongst yourselves is useless. You men are pathetic: is this how you expect to win a war? By killing each other before you even breach the enemy’s walls?” Suddenly, she spun around, pointing her deadly spear directly at Roy’s head. “Something funny, General Mustang?”
Roy froze. He couldn’t help it: watching Ed flail like that had made him giggle. “N-no ma’am.” Frankly, the Goddess Riza scared the crap out of him. She always seemed to know what he was thinking, especially when he was up to no good. Plus he never knew when she might invent a new weapon even more terrifying than that spear to point at him. He shuddered at the thought.
“Mark my words: thy pride shall be the end of thee! Listen to thy advisor, for he is deep in my counsel and possesses greater wisdom than thou. And quit being such a manwhore already!”
Did the Goddess of Wisdom just call me a manwhore? Roy had no time to wonder whether or not he had been hallucinating: the Lady was gone. Edward scrambled to his feet; with a final scathing glance at Roy, he stormed out of the tent without a word.
Well, Roy wasn’t sure what all that was about. There was one thing he did know, however, as certain as the hot blood coursing through his veins: pride or no pride, Roy Mustang was going to fuck that boy or die trying.