Mateo
Its late and i work in three hours, but i've been crying.
Micheal, my mom's caregiver, told me when she got sick...my real dad called.
Micheal just told me about a week ago.
He's now 87 and lives in Burrego Springs.
I want to see him.
I know I'll know him.
I know I'll love him.
But anyday could be his last,
and then I have to take another loss in life.
and figure out a way to accept it.
I'm glad he's alive.
I must find him.
Soon and not hesitate to take a chance
on getting to know someone my mom loved so deeply in the past.
Her secret. Her shame. Her love for an older, wiser man who was her soulmate.
I ,their love child, who was flung into a predicament that my mom thought society wouldn't accept.
My mother's attention towards pleasing others just gave her stress and lead her into this illness..
but she will be reborn when she remembers yesterday, and i can only hope by then i'll know Mateo. My Dad.
Would he find it odd, that i have waited this long to search?
I thought he was dead after my mom did all she could to research
and to phathom finding someone who was a hidden major part of my life..
makes me realize from this moment forward and in the moments of nothingness.
afterlife.what i would make out of bliss. i will always be in him and him in me.
heaven never shut down its eyes on me.
he's still alive i have a chance to see the other part of me.
and nothing could dissappoint me about him. His age doesn't matter.
the only thing that would take my heart and let it shatter
is if i never tried.
I'm sending an SOS into the universe
that from this day forward
he'll hear me cry out to know his love.
to seek his presence and pieces
that were installed in me for he is my creator.
he is my pain and he is unknown.
If you find out what hurts shouldn't you try to fix it?
If it can't be fixed i can at least say i sought to find my y chromosome.
and the adventure of this occurence will forever be in the place i call home.
my soul. my security. my inner god. personal jesus. me.
<333 Miss Stone
Micheal, my mom's caregiver, told me when she got sick...my real dad called.
Micheal just told me about a week ago.
He's now 87 and lives in Burrego Springs.
I want to see him.
I know I'll know him.
I know I'll love him.
But anyday could be his last,
and then I have to take another loss in life.
and figure out a way to accept it.
I'm glad he's alive.
I must find him.
Soon and not hesitate to take a chance
on getting to know someone my mom loved so deeply in the past.
Her secret. Her shame. Her love for an older, wiser man who was her soulmate.
I ,their love child, who was flung into a predicament that my mom thought society wouldn't accept.
My mother's attention towards pleasing others just gave her stress and lead her into this illness..
but she will be reborn when she remembers yesterday, and i can only hope by then i'll know Mateo. My Dad.
Would he find it odd, that i have waited this long to search?
I thought he was dead after my mom did all she could to research
and to phathom finding someone who was a hidden major part of my life..
makes me realize from this moment forward and in the moments of nothingness.
afterlife.what i would make out of bliss. i will always be in him and him in me.
heaven never shut down its eyes on me.
he's still alive i have a chance to see the other part of me.
and nothing could dissappoint me about him. His age doesn't matter.
the only thing that would take my heart and let it shatter
is if i never tried.
I'm sending an SOS into the universe
that from this day forward
he'll hear me cry out to know his love.
to seek his presence and pieces
that were installed in me for he is my creator.
he is my pain and he is unknown.
If you find out what hurts shouldn't you try to fix it?
If it can't be fixed i can at least say i sought to find my y chromosome.
and the adventure of this occurence will forever be in the place i call home.
my soul. my security. my inner god. personal jesus. me.
<333 Miss Stone