i'm pissed and all i want to do is get drunk and hit the punching bag... again.

[se48]

ok so here's the scoop. we've spent everynight for the past week and a few days at the house (phi tau)... sometimes we'd watch a movie, watch more than one movie, or even stay the whole night. but basically at midnight every night we were there and we'd leave between 3 and 5 if we were coming back that night. ... ... monday night we stayed the night cause claire was exhausted and passed out in jake's room - i slept in the chair. wednesday night we stayed again - claire passed out again... but instead of the chair i was pulled into bed with bpat, tickled to death, and then cuddled with until i had to go to class in the morning. ... ... thursday night we stayed again... this time claire wasnt ever in bpat's room with us... bpat and i were watching the texas chainsaw massacre with scott and powel (or whatever his name is) ... ... this time i got to cuddle after the movie - he didn't pull me in to bed, he just moved over and then held me... i fell asleep with my back to him, and woke up curled up to him. *sigh*

any way... the juicy part. we went there last night after claire got off work... yea our normal time - after midnight. claire got drunk... i drank didn't mean to get drunk but apparently if u mix the meds they got me on and alcohol nothing bad happens but... the alcohol takes effect faster. one shot and mixed drink later i was gone... and it was nice cause i was pissed and it helped take my mind off of it/him. see bpat has this thing where i'm ok and he wants to be with me ... during the week. but then there are the weekends, many many more girls at the house, and me... and he's different. mostly acts like i'm not there. and after what happened between the two of us earlier that week it just set me off last night... so i got drunk and hit the punching bag... ... ... amanda got a little worried that i was drunk so she tried her hardest to walk me home (eventually succeeding in doing so)... but apparently after i'd gone claire came out and asked bpat where i was. he said amanda walked me home cause i was drunk. yea... claire flipped (yes drunk ppl flip too) cause she knew i was on medication... so she told bpat and apparently he got pissed. so yea... i'm dying to go to the house cause i'm still pissed and wanting to drink/hit the punching bag... but i'm avoiding/prolonging it cause i know i'll probably get yelled at. which i wouldnt mind cause if he starts riding my ass about that i'll just let it go and get all this shit out there... ya know, deal with it all at once. lol. besides its kinda nice (no matter how morbid it sounds) him being pissed and all... lets me know he cares - even if he is denying it as much as i am/was.

goign to the house... catch yall lata.
-sam-