VAMPIRE KNIGHT FANFIC: Midnight Pudding
Title: Midnight Pudding
Author: Serenity-sama / TsukiKamiKira
Rating: M
Pairing: Kaname x Yuki x Kaname (cause hes submissive and I wish he'd suck on her again in the manga)
Genre: VK!Smut Oneshot #1 / Post Chapter 37-38-39(?)
Warnings: SPOILERS!! If you aren't up to date with the manga, at the time this is written (chapter 39) don't read any ( Read more... )
There is one pic Hino-sensei did of Kaname in day class uniform, standing next to yuuki and Zero also in uniforms, but it was just decorative, just like how she'll somehow draw Yuuki and or Zero in night class outfits. *_* He was so cute in it, although hotter in his usual uniform. XD
As for Kaname in dark shirts, yep, it seems to be his favorite when he's in the dorm. *-*/
*cheers for the refining* :D
As for suggestions, you might want to revisit some of the adjective choices, like her deadly fangs, and other few things that to me seemed a tidbit off in the area where they were, maybe. It's an author choice, as we all have favorite words that feel right or wrong in certain situations. XD
There are some typos, and some weird wordings too, like when he told her not to worry and the sentence was a bit strange.
Otherwise, writing styles change always as people write more, so I'm not sure if you want to look into it or not, but you might want to watch more closely the use of adjectives in some points, because while it helps to visualize the scenes, it also feels a bit too much in some parts, and could be better if it was rephrased in a different manner to include the same image but perhaps in a different wording so that the adjectives don't seem so concentrated in one spot? I'm not sure if my explanation is making any sense. XD;
For example:
smelling in the entire scent of his skin and beautiful thick black hair.
Sometimes it's not quite the adjectives, but the way the sentence breaks and flows, that makes it seem more clear or less. But that can depend a lot on style, so it's not always easy to explain. :)
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I also might reintroduce the pudding somewhere, lol.
Thanks!
And Kaname looks hot in anything =.= even nothing.. he needs to be drawn with no shirt already!!! any takers..any? XD
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He totally does! :D
And maybe? XD *hates how she's been drawing him, has clashing style that doesn't matches the manga's gorgeous style, but might try a bare-chested Kaname pic sometime* XD
(I was currently drawing the Kiryu twins, argh why does everybody in that series has difficult hair? XD)
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good luck! I want to see ALL your art! *heart*
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Meanwhile, here's some Ichiru & Zero wip preview:
Zero's face is all weird. D: (He's supposed to be angry, but er, not at Ichiru. XD;)
But then again, entire pic was drawn for the sole excuse of drawing Ichiru with pretty eyelashes, so it's no wonder. XD XD *lol*
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That's so cute! you draw so well! The hair looks lovely<3
the mouth needs fixing if you want to change his expression somehow.
or if you want him to be angry at not ichiru, have his eyes gazing somewhere in the distance, past ichiru
just my 2 cents!
lovely!~~
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Actually, yeah! I was thinking of changing his look to somewhere beyond Ichiru so it would convey the meaning better. :D He's supposed to be angry at Rido and so on. :)
I posted a pic of little Yuuki on my LJ since then. :D
I'll post stuff on the comm sometime, but I'm waiting to have a decent Kaname pic first. XD *lol*
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And yes, emo!Zero = ♥ XD XD
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