Medical Musings

Jul 19, 2006 22:52

Finally got a call back from my neurosurgeon's (a.k.a. "Neurodude") nurse today. While his receptionist has been unfailingly kind and empathetic on days when I have phoned in, barely able to speak coherently from the pain in my eyes, that nurse been acting weird for a long time, telling me to go to the ER for a chronic shunt problem. I was told to report unusual or exceptionally painful events (ie headaches), and I asked about going back on a prescription med, Diamox, that the neurosurgeon has had me occasionally use to reduce the CSF in my atypical case of problematic hydrocephalus.

She said that he said: take Gravol. Not the Diamox under any circumstances.

All right: assume "the meek and complacent patient role"! Hut!

Oh joy, oh rapture...yeah, right. This means that I will once again be reduced to a very sleepy, but pain-free blob. At least the Gravol did not make me feel as though I was suffering from an atrocious head cold every morning. I maintained a 3.45 GPA while on Gravol at university! Yay!

But...

How I wish I could drop a chandelier on that nurse. My neurosurgeon is highly skilled and intelligent, the best in his clinic...however, his cautionary demeanour (when a scalpel will not fix the problem) drives me up the wall. If you can't slice 'em, street 'em.

But his nurse is a pit bull. Actually, I have known some very nice dogs in my time, and it is my opinion that pit bulls can be just as happy and congenial as any other breed of dog. It's the contemptible habit of a few exceptionally Delta-category humans that have bred the poor animals to be vicious, child-biting monsters.

Thus, tomorrow I will begin using a combination of Tylenol with Codeine, and Gravol. At least my neurosurgeon will be happy because gravol is not addictive. He was not pleased when my GP granted her medical blessing to Tylenol 3 with codeine ("You don't want that [addictive] junk" were his words on the matter). I say "screw addiction risks" if the pills make me feel normal, instead of fostering in me a deep, repetitive and situational urge to defenestrate, so the pain will stop once and for all.
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