(no subject)
i'm supposed to have lunch with sam today. i'm excited! we're also going to hang out when i get off of work, so yay. he's so adorable.
i'm really fucking worried about steve. last night he got off work early and locked cristy out of the apartment. i was at sinbads with tam and julez, and cristy had to come all the way out to pb to get my keys. she'd called steve several times, tried calling the house too. i guess the apartment was completely dark inside. i told her he was probably just passed out or in one of his moods. i guess he was just passed out, i'm not sure. when i got home last night at 12, he was sitting there on the couch with cristy and jon. when i was ironing my shirt for work this morning, i saw a note on the dry erase board: fuck you both, i've finally done it.
i wish there was something i could do to help him out. but i can only do so much. i can only do it for so long. i know i can't just turn my back on him and be like 'you know what, if you want to kill yourself, fucking do it. just stop talking about it.' and its not even that i want to say that to him or feel that way at all. i just can't stand to see him so depressed all the time and its starting to make me depressed. i wish i had some other way to express what i'm thinking, but nothing comes to mind.
well, i'm pretty damn close to eliminating most of the drama in my life. the sean drama is just about gone, the cristy/steve drama still remains. though its not going to be as bad once she moves into my room.
still no decision from brian.
i'm really fucking worried about steve. last night he got off work early and locked cristy out of the apartment. i was at sinbads with tam and julez, and cristy had to come all the way out to pb to get my keys. she'd called steve several times, tried calling the house too. i guess the apartment was completely dark inside. i told her he was probably just passed out or in one of his moods. i guess he was just passed out, i'm not sure. when i got home last night at 12, he was sitting there on the couch with cristy and jon. when i was ironing my shirt for work this morning, i saw a note on the dry erase board: fuck you both, i've finally done it.
i wish there was something i could do to help him out. but i can only do so much. i can only do it for so long. i know i can't just turn my back on him and be like 'you know what, if you want to kill yourself, fucking do it. just stop talking about it.' and its not even that i want to say that to him or feel that way at all. i just can't stand to see him so depressed all the time and its starting to make me depressed. i wish i had some other way to express what i'm thinking, but nothing comes to mind.
well, i'm pretty damn close to eliminating most of the drama in my life. the sean drama is just about gone, the cristy/steve drama still remains. though its not going to be as bad once she moves into my room.
still no decision from brian.