106 Life Lessons that Degrassi Taught Us
ha ha, ohhhh man, I wanted to show everyone this, but it's from a community that's "protected" so only members can see it. So, I'm gonna post it, major major major props to falseh0pe who is amazing, cuz this is freakin' hillarious!!! ...well if you watch Degrassi, that is.
1. Don't try to hook up with a guy you met on the internet. No matter how much you think he may be telling the truth, he's probably a 40 year old pedophile who just wants to rape you. And video tape it.
2. If you think you're fat, don't get drunk and go to a dance. You'll just look even stupider. The guy probably liked you anyway.
3. Don't stay home to look at porn - you will get caught.
4. There's no need to rush into sex in 8th grade. Chances are the other person isn't ready either. And store clerks look at you funny when you buy condoms.
5. If you're feeling pressured with school and sports, don't take Ritalin to solve it. You'll get cut from the team anyway, and your friend will probably moon the crowd cause you took the poor kids Ritalin.
6. Don't be mad if you find out your dad is gay. At least your dad is alive, unlike Terri's dead mom.
7. Girls, don't be ashamed to get your period. It'll either embarass boys enough to make them shut up, or make boys like you more.
8. If you're feeling suffocated in your relationship, don't tell your step brother.
9. Don't be alarmed if you see a teacher and a student looking extra cozy - chances are the student just has some kind of learning disability.
10. If you're nervous for your first date, don't be. It will end up a disaster no matter what, and the guy will still like you in the end.
11. Mad your best friend wants to hang out with the cool crowd? Don't worry, they'll screw her over soon enough and things will go back to normal.
12. If you think your friends musical cabaret sucks, just tell her upfront. She may be a bitch, but she'll get over it.
13. If you have a huge crush on a girl, don't try to get her to like you by dressing up like a cat for an interpretive dance. She'll just get annoyed when you suck at it.
14. When you feel pressured, don't take it out by fighting. You probably didn't need to worry about the test anyway. And you will ultimately beat your girlfriend when she tries to break up the fight. You should have just kept your temper.
15. Don't take drugs! You will tell off all your friends, get in trouble with your parents, and look like a dumbass.
16. If your dad beats you, don't worry. Some random new friends and a guy who is awkwardly enough your step dad will come to the rescue. Just don't try to jump in front of a train.
17. Just found out your mom is dating your teacher? Don't try to make yourself feel better by sneaking out. The guy you like ends up liking your friend instead of you, anyway.
18. You want to win a dance competition, but your best friend sucks at dancing. You're basically screwed, if you tell him the truth, he'll get offended. If you lie, he'll get offended. And you'll both end up losing the competition to a guy who turns out to be gay and doesn't even like hockey.
19. If you took drugs and lost all your friends, your best chance is to just start over with a freaky new friend and go goth.
20. There's a cute new girl who loves anime just like you, but her brother is big and scary. Simply stand up to him and he'll let you date his adopted sister.
21. If you think eating healthy foods gives you boners and special girl-magnet powers, you're wrong. You're just a horny teenager, and you'll probably get a boner in front of the whole class.
22. Think your mom's new boyfriend was biased and let you win the science fair? Think again. You really DID have the best science project, even if you did change it last-minute because your best friend thinks chocolate tastes like "happy".
23. It's not a good idea to steal your step dad's car when he goes away for the weekend. Just because you have the keys to his car dealership doesn't mean you'll get away. He has a silent alarm, so you'll not only get grounded, but he'll rip up your tickets to an awesome concert.
24. Think your new punk rock friend only likes you because your tough and want to get a piercing? You're wrong. Your friend likes you for YOU, silly goth girl.
25. Don't ditch friends to hang out with some hot, older guy. He'll probably rape you.
26. If you're a bitch, just get raped, and you'll probably be a nicer person.
27. If you're a computer geek who wants to be a jock, don't take laxatives and make yourself throw up. You were better off as a computer geek anyway.
28. Want to date a totally cute older boy? Don't bother. It's not the locker he doesn't like, it's you.
29. If you're Muslim, don't be ashamed. Nobody really cares anyway.
30. Your mom's about to get married, but you find out she's pregnant. Don't tell the groom, it'll freak him out, and he'll hate you for ruining his hot bachelor party.
31. Speaking of bachelor parties, don't try to sneak into one. You'll probably meet the stripper at the wedding anyway.
32. Even if you and your girlfriend love anime, don't smother her. Even anime lovers have their limits.
33. If you think you might be gay, it's not nice to lead on a poor, unsuspecting girl friend.
34. If you have a crush on your hot teacher, you should probably come to terms with the fact that you're 12 and she's 40. Besides, trying to impress your friends in front of her won't let you get any further.
35. Having trouble at home? Embarassed to be around your girlfriends perfect family? Drinking isn't the answer. You'll just alienate friends and look like a drunken fool.
36. If you get cut from the floor hockey team, don't turn into a psychotic Napoleon-wannabe coach. Everyone will hate you.
37. If you're goth, and you get back together with an old boyfriend, it probably won't work out. After all, you're goth now.
38. If you want to ban GM foods in the cafeteria, you should probably shut the hell up and get over it because they aren't proven to be unhealthy and they're cheaper.
39. Don't steal your best friends new MP3 player. You will get caught and ruin your friendship.
40. If you think you're over being raped, think again. You'll see your rapist and things will fall apart. Don't let the mascot try to beat him up, either.The only way to get closure is to take the scumbag to court.
41. Your dad used to beat you, but he promised that he's changed. Don't believe him - he will start beating you again, then drive away angrily and die.
42. If your estranged father dies and you think you're okay with it, you're probably wrong. You will flip out at a fancy event like a school dance because hey, he's your dad, whether or not he beat you up.
43. Want to track down the father you've never met? Don't do it, you'll probably end up finding out he's mentally disabled, and he'll come back to your house and beat up your pregnant mom.
44. If you want to get the perfect anniversary present for your girlfriend, don't trade lockers. You'll embarass her and end up having to trade lockers back anyway.
45. Want to stop being "Cute", and start being "HOT"? Just dress like a slut and alienate all your friends, it'll work like a charm.
46. If you're confused about being gay, just meet your friends gay older brother. He'll be hot and open your eyes to a whole new world of gay.
47. Be careful - coming out to homophobes may be dangerous. Don't worry, they'll get over it eventually.
48. If your teacher agrees to shave his head for a school event, he probably has cancer.
49. Ignoring your boyfriend for your sick stepdad and new baby brother will ultimately lead to him ditching you for a tough new gang.
50. Don't sleep over your friends house. You will have a wet dream and he will embarass you in front of the cool crowd.
51. If you're a guy and you want to have sex with your girlfriend, just write her a song declaring your love for her. It'll get her in the sack easily.
52. If you want to win a guy over by using sex to get him, you'll probably get pregnant.
53. Feeling stressed, and the only way to relieve it is to cut yourself? Don't worry, an unsuspecting person will find out and become your friend while helping you get help.
54. If a creepy guy starts leaving roses on your locker, he'll probably turn out to be psycho.
55. Think your gay friend has a crush on you? Your probably just self absorbed.
56. If you want to win over a guy who has a girlfriend, just be persistent in being slutty and promise to keep a secret.
57. Even if you only have a few obvious marks, like a cut lip or bruised arm, your friends WILL know your boyfriend beats you.
58. No matter how much you study for driver's ed, if your teacher is hot, you will probably suck at driving and make your boyfriend mad.
59. Want to get back at an ex who broke your heart? Don't try to set him up, you'll just look stupid and ruin any chances with a new boyfriend.
60. If you're dating two girls at once, you will get caught eventually. And you will get slapped.
61. When having sex for the first time, make sure you know that the guy uses a condom.
62. Also when having sex for the first time, make it clear that "it's okay" DOES NOT mean you are on the pill.
63. If you have sex even just once without protection, you will get pregnant. And probably get an abortion.
64. If you want to be friends with someone cool, don't hack into the principals account. You'll get caught and get detention!
65. Saturday detention isn't so bad - you'll probably hook up with someone new.
66. If your friend's boyfriend is psycho and beats her up, you should do something before he pushes her into a rock and puts her in a coma.
67. The best way to get back at an ex is to write a song about them and perform it with your hot new band.
68. No matter how nice you are to a little kid, they are always a spoiled brat in the end.
69. If your dad is a homophobe, and you're a homo, chances are you will run into him on your first date. Luckily for you, he's naive and doesn't REALIZE you're on a date with a guy.
70. Skipping school and taking part in an Elvis impersonating contest will help you get over a guy who made you feel like crap.
71. If the person you live with moves far away and you don't want to go, just go on student welfare. It's like living a party life. Just watch out for the Montreal Crew.
72. Want your end of the year dance to be perfect for your girlfriend? Don't even bother. No matter what you do, it'll get screwed up. But in the end, you still have each other, even if the school does get lit on fire.
73. Taking your rapist to court won't give you closure - but crashing his hot car will.
74. So your dad left you $10,000 on your 16th birthday? Give it to your stepdad, he's poor and needs help with rent money.
75. If your running for school president against a "freak", be careful or she will rat your gayness out to your dad and the whole school.
76. Being mean to a kid in school everyone hates will make you popular.
77. If you're embarassed about having a small "package", don't get a penis pump. That will only make your girlfriend dislike you more.
78. If your mom's a raging alcoholic, just move in with your boyfriend. Make sure to bring a ferret.
79. Don't leave your boyfriend alone with Manny - she WILL flirt with him to the point of no return.
80. If you crashed your boyfriends car, chances are things will never go back to normal with you two. He'll just end up being an asshole.
81. Afraid of getting a job with someone who is your worst enemy? Don't worry, they'll end up making sure you keep your job in the end out of the goodness of their heart.
82. Don't push a psycho too far - he'll probably come to school with a gun.
83. If you feel guilty for someone being killed, don't repress your feelings. Just go find your parents and cry into their shoulders. Make sure to abandon your girlfriend and move back in with your parents while you're at it, NOT before almost drowning in a horrible jet ski accident.
84. No matter how bad you screw a girl over in the past, she will probably forgive you after time passes. And even get back together with you.
85. Getting fake IDs and going to a bar to stalk a teacher will probably only end in your embarassment.
86. If your boyfriend starts acting crazy and proposes to you, be nice to him. He's probably just bipolar.
87. If you REALLY want to date a hot teacher, just harass him enough until he gives in and makes out with you.
88. Unsure if you want to embark on another relationship after a disasterous previous relationship? Just make the guy promise he won't hurt you. Because verbal contracts are binding.
89. Don't give a guy a blowjob at the ravine - YOU WILL GET GONORRHEA!
90. If you fool around with your best friends boyfriend, you'll probably get slapped.
91. Sneaking your friend out of the hospital in a wheelchair really isn't that hard, if you're crazy.
92. Confessing to a horrible crime may make you feel better, but in the long run, you'll probably lose all your friends and your girlfriend, get expelled, and want to kill yourself.
93. Give your alcoholic mother a second chance, for the love of God. You're both just lonely.
94. Don't let your ferret run around the apartment, it'll probably get electorcuted and die.
95. Your teacher boyfriend isn't cheating on you - he just has a really shitty apartment. But making out in a school closet is a good way to hide your relationship.
96. If you want to hide your relationship with a teacher, don't tell a loud mouth whore. She will tell other people and probably rat you out in front of the principal, ultimately getting your hot TA fired.
97. No matter who you are, you're probably just jealous of Manny Santos.
98. Don't try to get back at a neighbor by decorating his tree with tampons and pads - it's lame and you'll get caught by the police.
99. Trying to kill someone with your mind is not an effective way to seek revenge.
100. If you're gay, you can't give blood.
101. Your hot college boyfriend is probaby cheating on you. He just wants his freedom.
102. Do not try to get back at your hot college boyfriend by kissing another guy who is obviously not gay. It'll just make you look kind of sad.
103. Lighting the school on fire is not a good idea. Even your criminal substitute friend knows this.
104. Girl fights are pointless. Nobody wins in the end. And in the end, Manny Santos will still think you're jealous of her.
105. Nothing is ever out of reach - even famous American director/actors will come to your school to film a movie, even if there was recently a school shooting.
106. If your girlfriend is going to England for the summer, don't follow her there. She'll just think it's a bipolar episode.
That's all for now! Add some of your own!
WHAT PEOPLE ADDED
107. If your friend thinks you are dying because you have no lifeline on your left hand, don't make her do all your homework. Your ex-friend will end up telling her, and she will try and hurt you. padfootgirl
108. Making out with a cool director will always result in you proposing marriage to your boyfriend. lol shattered_thots