[Fic] A Reason To Be Loved, Stages of love - five emotions
Title: A Reason To Be Loved
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairing/characters: 3+4 (pre-relationship), Duo
Author/Artist: lil_1337
Theme: Five emotions - Compassion, envy, regret, hope and surprise
Rating: Pg-13
Compassion: Loving another person
Trowa closed the book and set it silently on the table next to Quatre's bed. The deep steady rhythm of Quatre's breathing indicated that he was finally sleeping. It had taken the pain killers longer to kick in than Trowa was happy with, but he knew with a certainty he couldn't explain that Quatre had fought them for as long as he could despite the pain of multiple broken ribs and a concussion. Trowa understood that. Pain killers could cause nightmares and they made it harder to claw through the cotton wool to consciousness and a renewed sense of safety.
A touch to the base of the lamp dimmed the light to a pale glow that allowed Quatre to sleep without robbing Trowa of the ability to see. Waking in the dark could be unsettling even if the room was familiar. Plus Trowa wanted to be sure he could see even the smallest sign of distress if it appeared. With a soft sigh he stretched his legs to ease some of the stiffness and settled himself more comfortably in the plush chair. It was going to be another long night, but there was no where else he would rather be.
Envy: Means trusting yourself and him
“Quat! How're you feeling buddy? We were all worried about you.” Duo crossed the threshold into the bedroom filling it with the strength of his presence. “Iria said they were letting you get up and walk.”
Quatre looked up from the papers he was studying, a brilliant smile lighting his face. “Duo! I thought you were on Earth. When did you get to L4?” The lap desk he was using was quickly moved to the side to give Duo room to plop down on the bed.
“Howard was doing some salvaging not too far from here so I hitched a ride with him.”
Trowa felt himself fading into his chair as news of their friends and the ESUN was laughingly exchanged. He envied the casual, comfortable way with Quatre that Duo always had. He never seemed to be at a loss for words and he had a way of making Quatre laugh that made Trowa's heart ache and sing at the same time. Seemingly unnoticed Trowa slipped from the room using Quatre's empty tea cup as an excuse to go. Right now he needed to be somewhere that did not make him feel completely out of his depth.
Regret: To know when you are apart
It had been three years since Trowa had walked away from L4 and Quatre. Time had changed Trowa's appearance, broadened his shoulders and added even more length to his legs, and darkened his hair slightly. However, it had done nothing to change the feelings he had for Quatre. Nor had it touched Trowa's conviction that he would never be good enough to be worthy of a place at Quatre's side.
Trowa's skills and willingness to work had served him well as he wandered seemingly without direction or thought. The past three years had been full of jobs that no one else wanted. He spent his days doing hard labor with a laundry list of risks inherent in their make up and trying to ignore the hollow ache in the pit of his stomach that had nothing do with hunger.
Every day was a battle between the gnawing need to return to Quatre's side and the paralyzing fear that he had lost his chance forever. It was as if there were two people living in his head and they were continuously locked in a fight for control of his soul while Trowa could only watch and see how it would end.
Hope: And working hard to find yourselves
In the end it was Preventers and Lady Une that rescued him and gave him the forward push to save himself. Working for something with a bigger purpose showed Trowa that he had value and allowed him to use his skills to prevent war. His concept of who he was and how he fit into a world mostly at peace grew with each successful mission.
Eventually he moved out of the barracks and into a small apartment not far from headquarters. Not long after he bought a Jeep and granted himself the luxury of upgrading it for comfort as well as durability. Slowly, he began to feel like a person instead of an outsider and the world responded in kind. Occasionally he even attended Preventers sponsored social events.
Over time and with many false starts and backward steps he began to replace the child soldier he had been with the adult keeper of the peace he now was. The only wound that refused to heal at all was the place where Quatre belonged. Though, it was changing too as Trowa's feelings matured from hero worship and adoration into love for Quatre as a person not just an unobtainable ideal.
Surprise: That love will always find a way
“Trowa?” Quatre smiled, opening the door a little wider while gesturing for Trowa to come in. “I'd heard from Wufei that you joined Preventers. It suits you. You look good.” His cheeks pinked slightly though he made no attempt to hide his frank appraisal and approval of what he saw. “You've grown up since I last saw you.”
“You have too.” Trowa nodded, his smile equal parts unbridled happiness and nerves. “You look good too.” He paused, struggling to find the words to say all the things that he was feeling. “I'm sorry. For leaving. I wanted to stay. I just couldn't.”
“I know.” Quatre's smile softened and he reached out to rest a hand on Trowa's arm. “I knew you would come back when you were ready.”
“I did. I am. If you still want me I won't leave again.”
Quatre smiled and reached out to draw Trowa close. “Of course I do. I always have.”
Taking a deep breath Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre and buried his face in space between Quatre's neck and shoulder. When Quatre's arms came up to encircle him and hold him Trowa knew he had finally come home.
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairing/characters: 3+4 (pre-relationship), Duo
Author/Artist: lil_1337
Theme: Five emotions - Compassion, envy, regret, hope and surprise
Rating: Pg-13
Compassion: Loving another person
Trowa closed the book and set it silently on the table next to Quatre's bed. The deep steady rhythm of Quatre's breathing indicated that he was finally sleeping. It had taken the pain killers longer to kick in than Trowa was happy with, but he knew with a certainty he couldn't explain that Quatre had fought them for as long as he could despite the pain of multiple broken ribs and a concussion. Trowa understood that. Pain killers could cause nightmares and they made it harder to claw through the cotton wool to consciousness and a renewed sense of safety.
A touch to the base of the lamp dimmed the light to a pale glow that allowed Quatre to sleep without robbing Trowa of the ability to see. Waking in the dark could be unsettling even if the room was familiar. Plus Trowa wanted to be sure he could see even the smallest sign of distress if it appeared. With a soft sigh he stretched his legs to ease some of the stiffness and settled himself more comfortably in the plush chair. It was going to be another long night, but there was no where else he would rather be.
Envy: Means trusting yourself and him
“Quat! How're you feeling buddy? We were all worried about you.” Duo crossed the threshold into the bedroom filling it with the strength of his presence. “Iria said they were letting you get up and walk.”
Quatre looked up from the papers he was studying, a brilliant smile lighting his face. “Duo! I thought you were on Earth. When did you get to L4?” The lap desk he was using was quickly moved to the side to give Duo room to plop down on the bed.
“Howard was doing some salvaging not too far from here so I hitched a ride with him.”
Trowa felt himself fading into his chair as news of their friends and the ESUN was laughingly exchanged. He envied the casual, comfortable way with Quatre that Duo always had. He never seemed to be at a loss for words and he had a way of making Quatre laugh that made Trowa's heart ache and sing at the same time. Seemingly unnoticed Trowa slipped from the room using Quatre's empty tea cup as an excuse to go. Right now he needed to be somewhere that did not make him feel completely out of his depth.
Regret: To know when you are apart
It had been three years since Trowa had walked away from L4 and Quatre. Time had changed Trowa's appearance, broadened his shoulders and added even more length to his legs, and darkened his hair slightly. However, it had done nothing to change the feelings he had for Quatre. Nor had it touched Trowa's conviction that he would never be good enough to be worthy of a place at Quatre's side.
Trowa's skills and willingness to work had served him well as he wandered seemingly without direction or thought. The past three years had been full of jobs that no one else wanted. He spent his days doing hard labor with a laundry list of risks inherent in their make up and trying to ignore the hollow ache in the pit of his stomach that had nothing do with hunger.
Every day was a battle between the gnawing need to return to Quatre's side and the paralyzing fear that he had lost his chance forever. It was as if there were two people living in his head and they were continuously locked in a fight for control of his soul while Trowa could only watch and see how it would end.
Hope: And working hard to find yourselves
In the end it was Preventers and Lady Une that rescued him and gave him the forward push to save himself. Working for something with a bigger purpose showed Trowa that he had value and allowed him to use his skills to prevent war. His concept of who he was and how he fit into a world mostly at peace grew with each successful mission.
Eventually he moved out of the barracks and into a small apartment not far from headquarters. Not long after he bought a Jeep and granted himself the luxury of upgrading it for comfort as well as durability. Slowly, he began to feel like a person instead of an outsider and the world responded in kind. Occasionally he even attended Preventers sponsored social events.
Over time and with many false starts and backward steps he began to replace the child soldier he had been with the adult keeper of the peace he now was. The only wound that refused to heal at all was the place where Quatre belonged. Though, it was changing too as Trowa's feelings matured from hero worship and adoration into love for Quatre as a person not just an unobtainable ideal.
Surprise: That love will always find a way
“Trowa?” Quatre smiled, opening the door a little wider while gesturing for Trowa to come in. “I'd heard from Wufei that you joined Preventers. It suits you. You look good.” His cheeks pinked slightly though he made no attempt to hide his frank appraisal and approval of what he saw. “You've grown up since I last saw you.”
“You have too.” Trowa nodded, his smile equal parts unbridled happiness and nerves. “You look good too.” He paused, struggling to find the words to say all the things that he was feeling. “I'm sorry. For leaving. I wanted to stay. I just couldn't.”
“I know.” Quatre's smile softened and he reached out to rest a hand on Trowa's arm. “I knew you would come back when you were ready.”
“I did. I am. If you still want me I won't leave again.”
Quatre smiled and reached out to draw Trowa close. “Of course I do. I always have.”
Taking a deep breath Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre and buried his face in space between Quatre's neck and shoulder. When Quatre's arms came up to encircle him and hold him Trowa knew he had finally come home.