(no subject)
The thing isn't the break up or the idea of the getting back together. The thing is the not knowing. Because that's the truth, I don't know. I've never know if this was the right thing or if I was totally fucking it up, if I should have just held on longer, tried to deal with it even when it felt like I couldn't take it another second.
The thing is I don't know and I wish I did, because it can be easier to be alone than with him, I don't see the being a one person when I should be a couple like a personal fault of mine, but I do miss the bursts of happiness every other day, when he'd do something nice or say something nice. Then again, to have bursts of happiness in between so much pain it felt like it was a real thing, a living thing, then maybe it's not so good.
I just wish I'd know if I did the right thing. I want to know, period.
The thing is I don't know and I wish I did, because it can be easier to be alone than with him, I don't see the being a one person when I should be a couple like a personal fault of mine, but I do miss the bursts of happiness every other day, when he'd do something nice or say something nice. Then again, to have bursts of happiness in between so much pain it felt like it was a real thing, a living thing, then maybe it's not so good.
I just wish I'd know if I did the right thing. I want to know, period.