(no subject)
You all just might have to suffer through tons of tons of my post, until "I don't know" changes into something that actually makes sense.
I'm weirdly... cool about it. I cried a bit this morning, sure, and then I remember the strangest things of the six years and something months we actually had together, you know? totally understandable, I know, but still, fucked up. I'm trying to stop it, but it's not going to be easy.
Like I said before, worst thing is I know, I KNOW, that he doesn love me and he's just being an ass about it. Still.
NOT CALLING HIM.
totally, B, I swear. It's like a bad vice, and I've fallen of the wagon and I've started counting from zero today, but still, not calling. I've deleted him from my speed dial and call history. I don't delete his number from my address book because it's an international number and I never really memorized the numer.
Not calling, Day ONE.
*bounces*
I'm gonna try and write more of the bitter!Ryan story, because that has been working for me lately, and I like it. In a weird way. Also, B, I'm gonna need you to read it in a couple of days, whenever I finish Part II, so you can tell me what you think. It's not as bitter as before, which, of course, works better because that Ryan had issues over his issues and all that. I think this version makes a bit more sense. I've changed lines here and there, so you might have to read it all over again.
I have hopes, HIGH HOPES, to finish Part II over here, so I feel that I did something while being stranded in the middle of the jungle. *g*
I'm weirdly... cool about it. I cried a bit this morning, sure, and then I remember the strangest things of the six years and something months we actually had together, you know? totally understandable, I know, but still, fucked up. I'm trying to stop it, but it's not going to be easy.
Like I said before, worst thing is I know, I KNOW, that he doesn love me and he's just being an ass about it. Still.
NOT CALLING HIM.
totally, B, I swear. It's like a bad vice, and I've fallen of the wagon and I've started counting from zero today, but still, not calling. I've deleted him from my speed dial and call history. I don't delete his number from my address book because it's an international number and I never really memorized the numer.
Not calling, Day ONE.
*bounces*
I'm gonna try and write more of the bitter!Ryan story, because that has been working for me lately, and I like it. In a weird way. Also, B, I'm gonna need you to read it in a couple of days, whenever I finish Part II, so you can tell me what you think. It's not as bitter as before, which, of course, works better because that Ryan had issues over his issues and all that. I think this version makes a bit more sense. I've changed lines here and there, so you might have to read it all over again.
I have hopes, HIGH HOPES, to finish Part II over here, so I feel that I did something while being stranded in the middle of the jungle. *g*