(no subject)
I hate Jose right about now. I hate him so fucking much.
So, tomorrow is his sister's school thingy. It's like a carnivale, in a way. We've gone all six years in a row, to do what? To eat the afternoon away, spend our money in the silly games, and just stand together, holding each other as a couple of bands played. And today (last night?) his mom called and asked if I was gonna go. I said yeah, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder, what's the point? Who the hell am I gonna eat the afternoon away with? Go, so I just stand there, all alone, listening to the bands I don't even like? No, I was planning on calling her mom tomorrow afternoon and telling her that I was busy with my Thesis.
I told Jose that not even ten minutes ago and he FREAKED OUT. Asked me if this was the way it was supposed to be, the way it was gonna be, me just a stranger and never seeing his family. I've seen his family more than enough. His grandmother is in a geriatric facility, I make sure to go see her at least once a week. Sometimes I run into his sister or his aunt, or even his mom and dad. Dude. WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME?
I know his parents, and I like them. I mean, I've gone to his house a million times and we used to have lunch there together, but they are still his parents. I went to see him, to be with him. What am I gonna do with them? They are his parents, I respect them and like them and can carry ona conversation with them, but it's not like I'm going to go away with them for vacations, you know? It's not like I hate them, I just have no relationship with them. I can spend time with them, WHEN I'M WITH JOSE IN THE MIDDLE, SURE. But alone? WHAT THE FUCK?
We got into a fight in the msn and then I called him to try and fix it and he just told me, "I don't know why you're callign me. I don't wanna talk to you right now. Don't bother me."
WHAT THE FUCK?
Not even five hours ago I was telling Pedro and Karen how much I was missing him, how much I wanted him back and how this trip to Spain for a good job just wasn't worth it, not to me, not right now. Right now? I wish he would fucking stay there.
So, tomorrow is his sister's school thingy. It's like a carnivale, in a way. We've gone all six years in a row, to do what? To eat the afternoon away, spend our money in the silly games, and just stand together, holding each other as a couple of bands played. And today (last night?) his mom called and asked if I was gonna go. I said yeah, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder, what's the point? Who the hell am I gonna eat the afternoon away with? Go, so I just stand there, all alone, listening to the bands I don't even like? No, I was planning on calling her mom tomorrow afternoon and telling her that I was busy with my Thesis.
I told Jose that not even ten minutes ago and he FREAKED OUT. Asked me if this was the way it was supposed to be, the way it was gonna be, me just a stranger and never seeing his family. I've seen his family more than enough. His grandmother is in a geriatric facility, I make sure to go see her at least once a week. Sometimes I run into his sister or his aunt, or even his mom and dad. Dude. WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME?
I know his parents, and I like them. I mean, I've gone to his house a million times and we used to have lunch there together, but they are still his parents. I went to see him, to be with him. What am I gonna do with them? They are his parents, I respect them and like them and can carry ona conversation with them, but it's not like I'm going to go away with them for vacations, you know? It's not like I hate them, I just have no relationship with them. I can spend time with them, WHEN I'M WITH JOSE IN THE MIDDLE, SURE. But alone? WHAT THE FUCK?
We got into a fight in the msn and then I called him to try and fix it and he just told me, "I don't know why you're callign me. I don't wanna talk to you right now. Don't bother me."
WHAT THE FUCK?
Not even five hours ago I was telling Pedro and Karen how much I was missing him, how much I wanted him back and how this trip to Spain for a good job just wasn't worth it, not to me, not right now. Right now? I wish he would fucking stay there.