(no subject)
I just got into a fight with Jose, and you know, our fights are always, ALWAYS stupid.
Years ago, about five years ago, I had a very bad temper. I still do, at times, but I've learned to control it better. I did that for Jose. Because I would get rather nasty in my words and hurt him and that wasn't right, you know? So I learned that, to keep it in check. And that's good, I'm happy for that. But at the same time, while I learned to keep my voice down during our fights, he's learned to raise it a little bit quicker than he used to. And while I used to get mad over the most stupid things, and now I try to just let it go, as quick as possible, he's learned to do that himself. And the worse thing, is we get mad over the most stupid things, that aren't the same!
Like, twenty minutes ago. I was suppose to leave my house at 10.30 so I could be at his place at 11.15, but I was running late, and my cellphone was off. So he called my house and my grandma didn't pick up and then I turn on my cellphone and see that I missed his calls, so I call him and he's angry at that! I mean, COME ON! I was at home! What the fuck could have happened to me, damn it?! Don't you think that's stupid? So I tell him, all you had to do was wait for me to turn on my cell phone and then just call you and everything would have been fine. But no, he didn't. He got mad and angry and was fuming by the time I called him and when I asked him to explain if it was really that awful for me to have been incommunicado ten freaking minutes, he hung up on me. I have to say, we didn't use to do that before... like, three years ago. *sighs*
Anyway, so I keep calling him and he tells me that I hung up on him when I think I'm right, but I don't. I hung up on him when his voice starts rise and I tell him to keep it down and he tells me I'm not yelling, THEN I hung up on him. *g* So, I tell him, we can do two things. We can fix this right now, on the phone and then I go to your place or we can fix it when I get to your place OR we can keep on fighting and not see each other today. Your choice.
So he says, right now, I don't want to see you-- And I'm pretty sure there was more to that sentence, but by that point I wasn't in the mood to listen to it, so I said fine and hung up on him. And now I'm in my home clothes (sweats and a sweatshirt and my scarf because it's fucking freezing over here) and sitting before my computer with plans to do nothing but that the rest of the day. He wants to call, fine, he can call. But at this point, I'm thinking neither of us will want to break first. *shrugs* Oh, well. That's what six years together will to do you during fights. *g*
I love him so very much, but at times, I can't stand him. ^_^
11.36am: He called, we talked. But even though we're "fine" now, it feels rocky, in a way. Oh, well. I tell him, this isn't easy, and of course it isn't easy, because if it were, then everyone would have a six year relationship, don't you think? And it is about sacrifices and things you give up and compromising on almost everything. And I get it, and I'm there. I just. I don't know. Forget it. I'm off to watch The Sentinel.
Years ago, about five years ago, I had a very bad temper. I still do, at times, but I've learned to control it better. I did that for Jose. Because I would get rather nasty in my words and hurt him and that wasn't right, you know? So I learned that, to keep it in check. And that's good, I'm happy for that. But at the same time, while I learned to keep my voice down during our fights, he's learned to raise it a little bit quicker than he used to. And while I used to get mad over the most stupid things, and now I try to just let it go, as quick as possible, he's learned to do that himself. And the worse thing, is we get mad over the most stupid things, that aren't the same!
Like, twenty minutes ago. I was suppose to leave my house at 10.30 so I could be at his place at 11.15, but I was running late, and my cellphone was off. So he called my house and my grandma didn't pick up and then I turn on my cellphone and see that I missed his calls, so I call him and he's angry at that! I mean, COME ON! I was at home! What the fuck could have happened to me, damn it?! Don't you think that's stupid? So I tell him, all you had to do was wait for me to turn on my cell phone and then just call you and everything would have been fine. But no, he didn't. He got mad and angry and was fuming by the time I called him and when I asked him to explain if it was really that awful for me to have been incommunicado ten freaking minutes, he hung up on me. I have to say, we didn't use to do that before... like, three years ago. *sighs*
Anyway, so I keep calling him and he tells me that I hung up on him when I think I'm right, but I don't. I hung up on him when his voice starts rise and I tell him to keep it down and he tells me I'm not yelling, THEN I hung up on him. *g* So, I tell him, we can do two things. We can fix this right now, on the phone and then I go to your place or we can fix it when I get to your place OR we can keep on fighting and not see each other today. Your choice.
So he says, right now, I don't want to see you-- And I'm pretty sure there was more to that sentence, but by that point I wasn't in the mood to listen to it, so I said fine and hung up on him. And now I'm in my home clothes (sweats and a sweatshirt and my scarf because it's fucking freezing over here) and sitting before my computer with plans to do nothing but that the rest of the day. He wants to call, fine, he can call. But at this point, I'm thinking neither of us will want to break first. *shrugs* Oh, well. That's what six years together will to do you during fights. *g*
I love him so very much, but at times, I can't stand him. ^_^
11.36am: He called, we talked. But even though we're "fine" now, it feels rocky, in a way. Oh, well. I tell him, this isn't easy, and of course it isn't easy, because if it were, then everyone would have a six year relationship, don't you think? And it is about sacrifices and things you give up and compromising on almost everything. And I get it, and I'm there. I just. I don't know. Forget it. I'm off to watch The Sentinel.