(no subject)
I lay here, in a bed bathed in the light of our powerful grandmother moon, so full that she could burst. The wind gently pours through the open windows and greets my face with a cool caress. I can feel her calm. Today has held all the ingredients for one of the most beautiful days of my life - as all days do, but today is different. The crystal blue sky, the awe-inspiring beauty and power of a Blue Moon, the wisdom of a family of red-tailed hawks who, for a moment, paid me a visit with a special message just for me.
Strange, that while I'm aware and appreciative of all the beauty of the day, I cannot lift my spirit from it's despair. This eve of the coming year is the first that I have actually felt anything other than apathy for the day. I hold such optimism and love for the coming year, but I am forced to lie down and be still. Time to heal.
I'm watching the fireworks that burst in the sky across the lakes - the water reflects their glittering trails of magic. I pray that I may, somehow, seize just a tiny fraction of all the medicine and love that swirls around me, but as soon as I think I've got it in my grasp, it slips away. Leaving me to plummet once more. I know this pain. We've been miserable together once before. As you've heard me say, faith in love is the only thing that allowed me to heal before - it just doesn't seem to be enough this time.
Strange, that while I'm aware and appreciative of all the beauty of the day, I cannot lift my spirit from it's despair. This eve of the coming year is the first that I have actually felt anything other than apathy for the day. I hold such optimism and love for the coming year, but I am forced to lie down and be still. Time to heal.
I'm watching the fireworks that burst in the sky across the lakes - the water reflects their glittering trails of magic. I pray that I may, somehow, seize just a tiny fraction of all the medicine and love that swirls around me, but as soon as I think I've got it in my grasp, it slips away. Leaving me to plummet once more. I know this pain. We've been miserable together once before. As you've heard me say, faith in love is the only thing that allowed me to heal before - it just doesn't seem to be enough this time.