Diary of a Poly Kinkster - Chapter 7 - The End of an Era
Chapter 7 - The end of an era
2001 was a transitional year for me. This is when everything changed. This is when one side of my life ended and another began.
The year is 2000. Some friends of mine at work take me out to lunch and tell me about this new company they are starting out in California. They want me to come with them. It's during the dot-com age so people are getting rich left and right. I decide to do it.
It's huge risk so we decide to keep the house. Kelly is supposed to find a job and help with the bills while I go to California until we get the next round of funding (scheduled for 6 months later). She of course is very against this as she's phobic of being alone or that I'll leave her. In the end, that's what causes us to split up. All of the time we've been together, she was a compulsive lier and outright lazy. I would work until midnight then stay up until 2 to do laundry so I could have clean clothes the next day. To this day I have no idea what she did at the house but it certainly wasn't anything productive. I needed to know that she could be my partner and not just a burden and this was the test. I was tired all the time and needed help. I told her that of course but my requests/demands fell on deaf ears. My years and years of social brainwashing programmed me to stick and out and make it work cuz hey - God doesn't like divorce!
The idea was that she was going to stay in Houston in case things went south. She was going to find a job (again) and this time hold on to it. She would stay at the house and make sure it was ok for about 6 months until the lease was up. She'd of course visit as often as possible, but we wouldn't do the final move until the lease was up.
She made several attempts to ditch the house and join me in California. I told her I needed this time away to figure things out if we were going to make it. I told her that I needed to see that she could be an adult. I was miserable in the relationship but I really genuinely wanted it to work. I figured if I had some time to think and even miss her a little, it would go a long way in helping. She couldn't keep a job so money was more than tight. Mix that with her compulsive spending and it was just bad.
A month after I moved to California, she called me with "some news". She was pregnant. She'd lied to me about several things before but this seemed too big to lie about. I finally agreed to let her move out and break the lease. I asked my sisters to help her but they didn't believe her. My sister had a heart to heart talk with me about her lying but I convinced her that she wouldn't lie about this.
She moved out to California about 2 months into my stay out here. She didn't look any different, but hey it had only been a month or so. Then a month later when I noticed no change, no doctors appointments, and no pre-natal care, she "mis-carried". I asked her to see the original doctors results so I could set up an appointment with someone else and she handed them to me. It was a document that just looked...fake. I logged into our computer at home and sure enough found the same document which she created and edited. She sucked at forging. This was the nail that sealed the coffin of our relationship. This was the final straw that cause me to look at my life and look at her and realize that I didn't want any part of it. I loved my job, but this was miserable. I was not a happy person and worse, I had turned into my dad. We fought every day and night. She was a total drama queen. She lied about everything and caused a shit-ton of drama with both me and my family. It was over both in my hear and in my head.
I broke up with my first real girlfriend, submissive, and wife in January of 2001.
My relationship of 7 years was kaput. I had no regrets. I felt liberated. My entire life was now different. I no longer had my old job. I lived in a different state away from the influence of my family. My old friends weren't around. I was single for the first time in 7 years.
I was alone.
This was the hardest part to get used to. This had been the first time I'd ever been alone in my life. I've always lived with people. I've always had several friends. While I would never go back to Kelly, this was hard to get used to. I lost myself in work. I ended up making friends and dating again, but there was an adjustment period there.
Ultimately, the best thing that happened in 2001 is that I did a reboot. I no longer had the responsibilities or influences from before, so I could start over. And I did. I went on a quest to discover what made me happy. What my "thing" was. Not what my "thing" was "supposed" to be. I had worried about other people for so long (my mom, my wife) that it was strange to have only myself to worry about. This set the stage for what was to happen next.
Next time on Diary of a poly kinkster - Drifting
2001 was a transitional year for me. This is when everything changed. This is when one side of my life ended and another began.
The year is 2000. Some friends of mine at work take me out to lunch and tell me about this new company they are starting out in California. They want me to come with them. It's during the dot-com age so people are getting rich left and right. I decide to do it.
It's huge risk so we decide to keep the house. Kelly is supposed to find a job and help with the bills while I go to California until we get the next round of funding (scheduled for 6 months later). She of course is very against this as she's phobic of being alone or that I'll leave her. In the end, that's what causes us to split up. All of the time we've been together, she was a compulsive lier and outright lazy. I would work until midnight then stay up until 2 to do laundry so I could have clean clothes the next day. To this day I have no idea what she did at the house but it certainly wasn't anything productive. I needed to know that she could be my partner and not just a burden and this was the test. I was tired all the time and needed help. I told her that of course but my requests/demands fell on deaf ears. My years and years of social brainwashing programmed me to stick and out and make it work cuz hey - God doesn't like divorce!
The idea was that she was going to stay in Houston in case things went south. She was going to find a job (again) and this time hold on to it. She would stay at the house and make sure it was ok for about 6 months until the lease was up. She'd of course visit as often as possible, but we wouldn't do the final move until the lease was up.
She made several attempts to ditch the house and join me in California. I told her I needed this time away to figure things out if we were going to make it. I told her that I needed to see that she could be an adult. I was miserable in the relationship but I really genuinely wanted it to work. I figured if I had some time to think and even miss her a little, it would go a long way in helping. She couldn't keep a job so money was more than tight. Mix that with her compulsive spending and it was just bad.
A month after I moved to California, she called me with "some news". She was pregnant. She'd lied to me about several things before but this seemed too big to lie about. I finally agreed to let her move out and break the lease. I asked my sisters to help her but they didn't believe her. My sister had a heart to heart talk with me about her lying but I convinced her that she wouldn't lie about this.
She moved out to California about 2 months into my stay out here. She didn't look any different, but hey it had only been a month or so. Then a month later when I noticed no change, no doctors appointments, and no pre-natal care, she "mis-carried". I asked her to see the original doctors results so I could set up an appointment with someone else and she handed them to me. It was a document that just looked...fake. I logged into our computer at home and sure enough found the same document which she created and edited. She sucked at forging. This was the nail that sealed the coffin of our relationship. This was the final straw that cause me to look at my life and look at her and realize that I didn't want any part of it. I loved my job, but this was miserable. I was not a happy person and worse, I had turned into my dad. We fought every day and night. She was a total drama queen. She lied about everything and caused a shit-ton of drama with both me and my family. It was over both in my hear and in my head.
I broke up with my first real girlfriend, submissive, and wife in January of 2001.
My relationship of 7 years was kaput. I had no regrets. I felt liberated. My entire life was now different. I no longer had my old job. I lived in a different state away from the influence of my family. My old friends weren't around. I was single for the first time in 7 years.
I was alone.
This was the hardest part to get used to. This had been the first time I'd ever been alone in my life. I've always lived with people. I've always had several friends. While I would never go back to Kelly, this was hard to get used to. I lost myself in work. I ended up making friends and dating again, but there was an adjustment period there.
Ultimately, the best thing that happened in 2001 is that I did a reboot. I no longer had the responsibilities or influences from before, so I could start over. And I did. I went on a quest to discover what made me happy. What my "thing" was. Not what my "thing" was "supposed" to be. I had worried about other people for so long (my mom, my wife) that it was strange to have only myself to worry about. This set the stage for what was to happen next.
Next time on Diary of a poly kinkster - Drifting