Waiting
I've been watching a show called shrink rap recently. Its quite morbidly curious to watch celebrities talk about the most awful things that have happened to them and the awful things that they had done later as a result. Its got me thinking though. Compared to a lot of my friends I feel that in the past I had a pretty rough time of it. Some bad things happened that I'm not really going to go into on here. My life is actually very nice now however. But I can't help feeling that this isn't it. Like if all those terrible things happened then how can I be happy now? On this show shrink rap, everyone seems to act out by sleeping around or being addicted to drugs/drink or hating their bodies to the point where they have lots of cosmetic surgery. And while I obviously have my own demons of generic low self esteem and all those bits and bobs, I'm generall a happy person. I've acted out in any serious way as far as I can remember.
But I'm begining to feel like somthings coming. Like I'm just denying all those awful feelings in the hope of being normal and living nicely and all of that. I certainly don't perscribe to the idea that anyone ought to feel a certain way just becuase this or that has happened to them. But I've never worked through or faced up to my problems so I'm wondering how long all thise happiness can last. I just keep seeing images of myself breaking down in the future at some point. I'm very confused really.
Can anyone help me?