Interesting
I sent a litlle letter detailing a certain situation...explaining my part and appolagising....but no return as of yet....as I've thought about it...its kind of annoying that I seem to be the only one willing to take responsiability since this person seesm to think that everything that has happened was all my fault and entirely one sided...I think they have a name for people like that...a victim possibly.
There were a few things I didn't mention in the letter becuase I didn't want it to be just a big slangging match but I will mention them here because I highly doubt they will look at this and even if they do I will only be telling the truth.
1. Trying to get me to do somthing for sum1 to make them happy...then mentioning that they didn't give a fuck about my happiness...somthing that was unprovoked and I can only imagine was said to try and hurt my feelings. (Plus after that somthing else was mentioned that if I mention on here could cause a whole fucking loaaad of trouble for people.)
2. On occassion telling me about people who hate me when I hardly know or speak to them at all...Not really much I can do with that information but I suppose if I wasn't a secure person then that would play on my mind a lot.
3. Telling me that Liam was only going out with me for convineance at a time when I was clearly very insecure about our relationship.
Ofcourse i have done bad things too but at least I've owned up to it....
And on top of all this i find it harder still to accept that it was all my fault when he has admited that he has acted in a less than favourable way towards me simply becuase he didn't want me to fancy him....Pretty offensive actaully. And I kinda don't think its the truth since this has been a recent revelation and since me and Liam have been involved for like 2years...it seems odd that he would still think I'm just gonna end up fancying him. I find this to be kind of suspecios therefore.
Moving on to a different subject I've been thinking about happiness lately. It seems kind of interesting that considering my less than favourable and humble beginings I've always been a pretty happy person and relitivly secure within myself. Interestingly people with a lot less terrible lives seem to be misrable and that baffles me...i know that happiness is all relative but I've always kind of thought that people expect too much to make them happy. I think if people learned to be happier with what they already had then things would b different. Things like being happy that you have a walm bed to sleep in at night...and at least one parent or anyone in the world that loves you and looks after you...or having enough food...things that I didn't always have when I was growing up...yet I can get over it and be happy. I don't know exactly what goes on in the lives of others who I see as having comfatable and loving homes who are non-the-less misarable...I don't think anything in their lives can be worth not having a happy life...perhaps I'm very wrong though...maybe there are some things you just can't get over and that plague your life forever..some things do spring to mind...but I still don't think happiness is impossible in such situations.
Of course i have been through some horrible things and have felt pretty awful but it isn't forever...
I've been thinking about whether to make this public or not. I don't know...I havn't mentioned names or anything...but maybe its reaaally obvious....i don't know...i don't think i've said anything bitchy or out of order..hmmm
anyways
Sarah