collegeacb is where goodness goes to die
If you are a FRATSTAR, a SOROSTITUTE, or a PARTY CRASHING GDI FAGGOT,
Posted by anonymous girl '14 04/26/2011 01:31 PM | Last Reply 05/13/2011 06:06 AM
then read my message to you.
People of Cornell, we need to get back into our fucking rhythm. We've turned soft and are losing our top party rankings faster than a Tridelt can lose her leggings. Let's get our shit together, pull our resources, and get back into the game...fourth quarter kinda shit where lebron starts dunking his nuts in everyone's mouths. None of this "oh let's get like ten thirties and a handle and hope there's enough for us and these bitches". No, drive to the liquor store and clear those shelves. CLEAR. THOSE. SHELVES. Clear em and drive a fucking caravan of keystone back to the promised land. We're calling all cars here people, Psi U, Sig Chi, DU, TEP, ATO, Delta Chi, Sammy, DKE, Phi Tau, Pi Kapp, FIJI, Chi Psi, Beta, Zeta Psi, EVERYONE. I wanna see bitches not knowing whether their throats hurt cause they were deep throating all night or if it was a handle of absolut vodka getting rammed down their esophogous.
And for the sororities, start coming out in full force. I'm talking innocent freshman pledge class, sophomore sluts, and the junior and senior coke/bar whores. I'm tired of not knowing whether five chicks will show up or if you're coming at 11 when you say 10 cause it takes you 8 fucking hours to put on lipstick. MORE partying and LESS being bitches. It should take you an hour tops to put your little slutty outfits on, glob some makeup all over those beautiful faces, and POSSIBLY cram in a granola bar (personally I like the chocolate chip and peanut butter ones). I don't want to see any blackberry posses unless your txting freaking Jesus saying to save you a spot in his golden chariot 'cause you don't know if you're gonna wake up from your alcohol blackout coma later on in the night.
All in all, it's time to rage people. More alcohol, turn the fog and bubble machines on, turn those tables, and makes mistakes under the dim shimmer of blacklights. It's time to start winning and it begins with the clank of cold ones hitting the floor after a warm-up shotgun sesh. Let's get after it Cornell. We are getting WAY too obsessed with academics here. Remember us. WE are the titans. WE are the party school of the Ivies, the best of the best in fucking AMERICA. So start acting like it. Fuck Denise Cassaro and her monopoly, you best get your ass down to rage on a Friday night. We only got 3 weeks of school left in this motherfucker. Let's make them one to remember. Over and out.
- J.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by anonymous girl '14 04/26/2011 01:31 PM | Last Reply 05/13/2011 06:06 AM
then read my message to you.
People of Cornell, we need to get back into our fucking rhythm. We've turned soft and are losing our top party rankings faster than a Tridelt can lose her leggings. Let's get our shit together, pull our resources, and get back into the game...fourth quarter kinda shit where lebron starts dunking his nuts in everyone's mouths. None of this "oh let's get like ten thirties and a handle and hope there's enough for us and these bitches". No, drive to the liquor store and clear those shelves. CLEAR. THOSE. SHELVES. Clear em and drive a fucking caravan of keystone back to the promised land. We're calling all cars here people, Psi U, Sig Chi, DU, TEP, ATO, Delta Chi, Sammy, DKE, Phi Tau, Pi Kapp, FIJI, Chi Psi, Beta, Zeta Psi, EVERYONE. I wanna see bitches not knowing whether their throats hurt cause they were deep throating all night or if it was a handle of absolut vodka getting rammed down their esophogous.
And for the sororities, start coming out in full force. I'm talking innocent freshman pledge class, sophomore sluts, and the junior and senior coke/bar whores. I'm tired of not knowing whether five chicks will show up or if you're coming at 11 when you say 10 cause it takes you 8 fucking hours to put on lipstick. MORE partying and LESS being bitches. It should take you an hour tops to put your little slutty outfits on, glob some makeup all over those beautiful faces, and POSSIBLY cram in a granola bar (personally I like the chocolate chip and peanut butter ones). I don't want to see any blackberry posses unless your txting freaking Jesus saying to save you a spot in his golden chariot 'cause you don't know if you're gonna wake up from your alcohol blackout coma later on in the night.
All in all, it's time to rage people. More alcohol, turn the fog and bubble machines on, turn those tables, and makes mistakes under the dim shimmer of blacklights. It's time to start winning and it begins with the clank of cold ones hitting the floor after a warm-up shotgun sesh. Let's get after it Cornell. We are getting WAY too obsessed with academics here. Remember us. WE are the titans. WE are the party school of the Ivies, the best of the best in fucking AMERICA. So start acting like it. Fuck Denise Cassaro and her monopoly, you best get your ass down to rage on a Friday night. We only got 3 weeks of school left in this motherfucker. Let's make them one to remember. Over and out.
- J.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA