Bad, Bad Day
Last night, I couldn't sleep at all. Literally not a wink. And it wasn't the usual manic can't sleep because I'm full of energy and need to be on the move kind of lack of sleep. It was the I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking what a worthless human being I am type of being awake. I managed to catch MAYBE two hours in the morning. I was uneasy and jittery all day long from lack of sleep and very depressed to the point that I was physically sick. After a full day of feeling near-suicidal it gets even better and my mother gets home from work on an absolute war path screaming how I can't do anything right and basically confirming my belief that I'm fairly worthless. I am hoping that my exhaustion plus the sleep medicine will put me out for a good twelve hours. Not nearly as tired as I should be though.