I hate that I get shit on in this job
File a great part of this day under "humiliating moments I (likely) never, ever, would have had were I not a mother."
So I'm sitting at lunch with Aaron and Robert, having dragged my depressed ass out of bed and actually showered so as to not put them off, and I keep smelling fecal matter. I check the most logical source of offending materials--Nolan's skinny white ass--and find nothing. But strangely, my hands reek of it. There's nothing brown under my nails, so where's it coming from? The last crappy diaper I changed was last night, and I know I washed my hands afterwards.
So I wash my hands. The smell leaves my fingers, but doesn't go away entirely. And sure enough, five minutes later, a nasty aura clings to my hands again. What the hell? Eventually, after trying to play bloodhound as steathily as possible, I discover the source.
It turns out that the stains on yesterday's jeans that I tossed on right before we left? Those brown blotches spreading across my thighs that I thought were just massive amounts of taco sauce?
The horror. The horror!
I can only hope my lunch companions didn't realize the smell filling my (already filthy) car was me. Shower #2, coming right up.
So I'm sitting at lunch with Aaron and Robert, having dragged my depressed ass out of bed and actually showered so as to not put them off, and I keep smelling fecal matter. I check the most logical source of offending materials--Nolan's skinny white ass--and find nothing. But strangely, my hands reek of it. There's nothing brown under my nails, so where's it coming from? The last crappy diaper I changed was last night, and I know I washed my hands afterwards.
So I wash my hands. The smell leaves my fingers, but doesn't go away entirely. And sure enough, five minutes later, a nasty aura clings to my hands again. What the hell? Eventually, after trying to play bloodhound as steathily as possible, I discover the source.
It turns out that the stains on yesterday's jeans that I tossed on right before we left? Those brown blotches spreading across my thighs that I thought were just massive amounts of taco sauce?
The horror. The horror!
I can only hope my lunch companions didn't realize the smell filling my (already filthy) car was me. Shower #2, coming right up.