A year later and here I am
It is now 2011!!! Hard to believe it has been so long since I have written in here. I have thought about it a lot but with school, work, and kids, I just never seemed to find the moment. Now that I have a moment, I have a lot to say... I think... First of all, and most importantly, I have a boyfriend now. His name is Keith, and he is fantastic, almost the complete opposite of Matt... Keith is kind, caring, good hearted and even tempered. He treats me like a princess. I'm pretty lucky really. He asked me to be his girl on my birthday last year, so we are going on 8 months. Surprised huh? Yeah me too... didn't think anyone would be able to tolerate me for that long, but low-and-behold, he has, and I love him! :)
Speaking of my X, Matt is currently in Jail... That was a strange thing to find out. Our lives have gone in such different directions, it is hard to believe I was ever with someone like him. According to the online jail records, he is going to be in jail for at least 6 more months... it must really suck for him. I, on the other hand, have been in school working my butt of and was recently accepted into the nursing program, go me! With any luck, in two years I will be working at a hopsital making some serious money... Then I will look into purchasing a house... And I can finally start providing the life I mean to provide fer my kids...
Rohan is 11 now, incredibly smart and deceptive. But with patience and understanding, I believe I can still guide him on the right path to having a successful life. Raven is cute, kind, and highly intelligent as well (I'd expect nothing less from my children) and she will be miles ahead of Rohan when it comes to being on the right path. At only 5 years old, she is my golden child, however extremely selfish.
Work is starting to wear on me. Most of my friends don't work there anymore, and those that are left are not the kind of people I prefer. I feel I can never relax there anymore, always on my guard. The pay remains incredibly low and the work load remains incredibly high. It's just glorified fast food, that honestly does not deserve someone of my caliber. Because of this, I have begun cutting back. I used to stress over perfection, and now I see it as an exhausting waste of my time. I watch people make mistakes, and I let it go. I neither care nor deserve the stress that comes with being a safety net.
I never really write anymore and I haven't drawn anything worthwild in a long time. My hobbies and talents have been replaced with sleep and study. Both of which are essential yet contain no pride or joy. I am the little engine that does... and yet part of me doesn't want to anymore. The joy I do find comes from my children and Keith. I am lucky to have the three of them. Without them, I don't think I would honestly be able to (or even want to) continue on with my master life plan of success.
At least once a week I say to myself (sometimes even out loud) I need a vacation. But I think what I mean is, I need a break from my life, from everything in my life... I need to resign my titles and responsibilities for long enough that I can do some soul seeking of my own.
With regard to my last post about getting healthy, physically and mentally. I would like to say I have been successful. I weigh approximately 172 pounds, which I am extremely proud of. I look great in everything I own. With the help of Yoga, I even have the muscle definition I have always wanted (yet I retain an elegant feminine look) My mental status is not where I want it, but everyday I realize something new (and usually disturbing) about myself that promotes a healthy growth process. But honestly, somethings I am disappointed to find how unbalanced I am. (One of many reasons, I am surprised Keith is still with me.)
Speaking of my X, Matt is currently in Jail... That was a strange thing to find out. Our lives have gone in such different directions, it is hard to believe I was ever with someone like him. According to the online jail records, he is going to be in jail for at least 6 more months... it must really suck for him. I, on the other hand, have been in school working my butt of and was recently accepted into the nursing program, go me! With any luck, in two years I will be working at a hopsital making some serious money... Then I will look into purchasing a house... And I can finally start providing the life I mean to provide fer my kids...
Rohan is 11 now, incredibly smart and deceptive. But with patience and understanding, I believe I can still guide him on the right path to having a successful life. Raven is cute, kind, and highly intelligent as well (I'd expect nothing less from my children) and she will be miles ahead of Rohan when it comes to being on the right path. At only 5 years old, she is my golden child, however extremely selfish.
Work is starting to wear on me. Most of my friends don't work there anymore, and those that are left are not the kind of people I prefer. I feel I can never relax there anymore, always on my guard. The pay remains incredibly low and the work load remains incredibly high. It's just glorified fast food, that honestly does not deserve someone of my caliber. Because of this, I have begun cutting back. I used to stress over perfection, and now I see it as an exhausting waste of my time. I watch people make mistakes, and I let it go. I neither care nor deserve the stress that comes with being a safety net.
I never really write anymore and I haven't drawn anything worthwild in a long time. My hobbies and talents have been replaced with sleep and study. Both of which are essential yet contain no pride or joy. I am the little engine that does... and yet part of me doesn't want to anymore. The joy I do find comes from my children and Keith. I am lucky to have the three of them. Without them, I don't think I would honestly be able to (or even want to) continue on with my master life plan of success.
At least once a week I say to myself (sometimes even out loud) I need a vacation. But I think what I mean is, I need a break from my life, from everything in my life... I need to resign my titles and responsibilities for long enough that I can do some soul seeking of my own.
With regard to my last post about getting healthy, physically and mentally. I would like to say I have been successful. I weigh approximately 172 pounds, which I am extremely proud of. I look great in everything I own. With the help of Yoga, I even have the muscle definition I have always wanted (yet I retain an elegant feminine look) My mental status is not where I want it, but everyday I realize something new (and usually disturbing) about myself that promotes a healthy growth process. But honestly, somethings I am disappointed to find how unbalanced I am. (One of many reasons, I am surprised Keith is still with me.)