hmm hmm...
well, life continues on its unlikely course of despair and destruction while the forces of nature within life continue to keep spirits high. a strange fate were born into, eh?
well. hmm. today at lunch, it was made clear to me that nothing would ever come close to being close between me and him. although me and him never would happen in the first place. or the second place. or the third. or in any place in the universe.
so ive resolved to write a story for our new lunchtime story circle. it will be about the hopelessness a girl had when she was deep in a desperate obsession (not in love with, you scycos) with. and she was desperate. so instead of letting it pass, like i am going to do, im gonna spice things up. well. i guess i cant give away the story. friday is my reading day. i cant spoil it. dont tell anyone if you know. ITS TOP SECRET. not. but i think getting it out there in a ridiculous fashion will help me just realize the simple twists in life that seem to tire us out...
ha.
were all stuck here in this life, which i think is controlled by an invisible path of fate which lets us wander and drift between points in our lives where we are meant to be. its like we have appointments with fate, but we dont really know when they are. we stumble apon them, but we feel it and know it and realize its there when these moments happen. and thats when you know your on track. my most recent and first 'moment' was when i was hiking in idaho. yeah..it was wierd. almost spiritual. even tho i think the thought of one all-ruling god is a load of bs, and therefore doesnt apply to my life..or at least these moments. or moment. whatever. it was wierd. but i want to know im on track again. i want to have to stop and breathe and realize im in the right place at the right time, no matter how crappy life is. i want to feel like im meant to be here.
its hard to explain the concepts of life from my perspective on a stupid livejournal. i need to lecture or something. writing it down isnt enough of a way to describe it. but oh well.
adios for now.
well. hmm. today at lunch, it was made clear to me that nothing would ever come close to being close between me and him. although me and him never would happen in the first place. or the second place. or the third. or in any place in the universe.
so ive resolved to write a story for our new lunchtime story circle. it will be about the hopelessness a girl had when she was deep in a desperate obsession (not in love with, you scycos) with. and she was desperate. so instead of letting it pass, like i am going to do, im gonna spice things up. well. i guess i cant give away the story. friday is my reading day. i cant spoil it. dont tell anyone if you know. ITS TOP SECRET. not. but i think getting it out there in a ridiculous fashion will help me just realize the simple twists in life that seem to tire us out...
ha.
were all stuck here in this life, which i think is controlled by an invisible path of fate which lets us wander and drift between points in our lives where we are meant to be. its like we have appointments with fate, but we dont really know when they are. we stumble apon them, but we feel it and know it and realize its there when these moments happen. and thats when you know your on track. my most recent and first 'moment' was when i was hiking in idaho. yeah..it was wierd. almost spiritual. even tho i think the thought of one all-ruling god is a load of bs, and therefore doesnt apply to my life..or at least these moments. or moment. whatever. it was wierd. but i want to know im on track again. i want to have to stop and breathe and realize im in the right place at the right time, no matter how crappy life is. i want to feel like im meant to be here.
its hard to explain the concepts of life from my perspective on a stupid livejournal. i need to lecture or something. writing it down isnt enough of a way to describe it. but oh well.
adios for now.