fuck it all to hell.
well going to montys was pointless, i ended up spending why the fuck to much money on thing i can't really aford. plus on getting myself wasted and stoned when i really shouldn't. i hate how the only way to feel happy is by drugs or booze, why can't i just be happy just because. im so disapointed in myself that i want to die. fuck man im so hurt, so alone, so drained, sad and feel useless ever single fucking day.
i fucking hate being me it gets me no where. no matter what i do for people i end up paying for it in the end. and your right steve nice guys always finishes last. for everything i have something fucking retarted as to happen for me to get it. and the funny thing is its all luck having what i have but like i said. i have to be pay for it as in to get it. like lose a best friend gand two. ex gf of two an a half years brakes my hart and goes after my friends and in turn i get a house like for free like wtf. people fuck me over for lendding them money i can't really lend cause i use to have a shitty job later on out of no where i get hooked up with a killer job i love and will fight to keep by working my ass off. i can't take this no more i really can't.
i know the end is near, theirs really nothing left for me to help anyone with cause no one gets it. i've been going out of my way for people, helping them pay rent, buy food, helping moving, talking people thur problems with friends, family, relationship, drugs u name it and still no one still no lessing to what im saying. no one has open their eyes to see what their doing is wrong. everyone is wasting their time bickering over shit that not worth their time. blamming everyone else for their problems when really your to blame if u want shit to go your way stop being a fucking bitch and do something about it. drugs, booze, going on a fucking rampage to fill the void is not the way to do it, its nothing more the a quick fix to a problem you'll never fix but keep on repeating cause its all u know what to do.
u know what fuck this im out. all i have to say is life is waaaaay the fuck to short to be doing what were doing to are self and to other just out of lust, greed etc, just know their so much more to life then we think to bad no one ever thinks that. we are all selfish fuckers, no one goes out of their way to help anyone these days without wanting something in return. i hate the fact that im going to keep helping people knowing that my if u want to call it "teachings" will never go on.
i've been asked by many people if what i do for people causes so much stress and pain to myself why do it. cause i will not rest till i've done what i believe is right and that is show people the way to a better stress free life. and if i have to go broke, let killer relationship pass me by, die to do it. i will, i want to know at least when i die all that i did for everyone wasn't for nothing...
i fucking hate being me it gets me no where. no matter what i do for people i end up paying for it in the end. and your right steve nice guys always finishes last. for everything i have something fucking retarted as to happen for me to get it. and the funny thing is its all luck having what i have but like i said. i have to be pay for it as in to get it. like lose a best friend gand two. ex gf of two an a half years brakes my hart and goes after my friends and in turn i get a house like for free like wtf. people fuck me over for lendding them money i can't really lend cause i use to have a shitty job later on out of no where i get hooked up with a killer job i love and will fight to keep by working my ass off. i can't take this no more i really can't.
i know the end is near, theirs really nothing left for me to help anyone with cause no one gets it. i've been going out of my way for people, helping them pay rent, buy food, helping moving, talking people thur problems with friends, family, relationship, drugs u name it and still no one still no lessing to what im saying. no one has open their eyes to see what their doing is wrong. everyone is wasting their time bickering over shit that not worth their time. blamming everyone else for their problems when really your to blame if u want shit to go your way stop being a fucking bitch and do something about it. drugs, booze, going on a fucking rampage to fill the void is not the way to do it, its nothing more the a quick fix to a problem you'll never fix but keep on repeating cause its all u know what to do.
u know what fuck this im out. all i have to say is life is waaaaay the fuck to short to be doing what were doing to are self and to other just out of lust, greed etc, just know their so much more to life then we think to bad no one ever thinks that. we are all selfish fuckers, no one goes out of their way to help anyone these days without wanting something in return. i hate the fact that im going to keep helping people knowing that my if u want to call it "teachings" will never go on.
i've been asked by many people if what i do for people causes so much stress and pain to myself why do it. cause i will not rest till i've done what i believe is right and that is show people the way to a better stress free life. and if i have to go broke, let killer relationship pass me by, die to do it. i will, i want to know at least when i die all that i did for everyone wasn't for nothing...