The Field of Medicine
On stereotyping:
- Those who go into Internal Medicine are at baseline cynical
- Those who go into Psychiatry are not psychotic but they tend toward personality disorders
- Those who go into Neurology are neurotic but that does not preclude them from having neurologic disorders or for that matter psychotic disorders
- Those who go into Surgery are not only pretty handy, they are full of rage and pretty handy
- Those who go into OB/Gyn not only deal with hormones but have an extra dose of them and are divas to boot
- Those who go into Pediatrics are passive-aggressive
- Those who go into Orthopedics talk about BP as in Bench Pressing not as in Blood Pressure
Please no flames - just a certain state of mind with a little humor, never meant to offend. I did put myself first - i.e. Internal Medicine. i could also do the Internal Medicine subspecialties...
- Cardiology - "We can cath them" even if they don't need it, but we can defend it with any alphabetic soup trial
- Pulmonary/Critical Care - Needle first, ask questions later. "We can put a line in them from across the room"
- Gastroenterology - "We deal with people full of shit" literally
- Oncology - "We can give chemo to anyone, even the mostly dead ones"
- Primary Care - "Lets do cancer screening" or "Did you sceen for depression?" but only on inpatients
- Rheumatology - "I don't know, send all the weird tests first then call us back."
- Nephrology - "He's still pee-ing, we can't dialyze him."
- Infectious Disease - "Culture every orifice and then send a thick smear when he's febrile just in case he has malaria."
Oh and for the more non-patient oriented...
- Radiology - The mass is suspicious for but not exactly consistent with but could suggest so clinically correlate
- Pathology - It's cancer
For the ancillary staff:
- Nurse - "Doctor! Fever! Fever! What's your name?"
- Phlebotomy - Even if the patient is in a coma, "Patient refused"
- PCA - I'm on lunch break
- Transport - It's 4pm, I'm going home