letter to the boss..
Hi Dobs,
I cancelled the shift today because I had a particularly bad shift yesterday and I don't like having to go to work while feeling so negatively about work. I regret cancelling the shift, because I do need the cash and it leaves the morning allocator in a spot, but i couldn't have come in today after yesterday's events...
From what I gathered from talking to someone, Jean the ANUM on 5N has reported me for ... i'm not sure ... not being telepathic to her needs? I understand that a patient was having a bleed, and that they ordered an immediate angiography to remove the clot. Now they told me of this as soon as the problem arose, but when I went to the bedside to assist with the transfer (and i did respond straight away), they told me to run bloods and then return 30 minutes later, when the doctor had recieved the results of the blood test. So i ran the bloods as fast as i could, and on the way back, was paged by 6W for their final bloods round. so i picked up their bloods, as well as some from 5E, ran them and returned to the ward. from what i ascertained when i got there, they did not have the results from the blood test, so i returned the ECG machine to 5SE and returned to 5N straight away. The doctor, jean and the nurse attending (who's name i did not catch) had wheeled the bed to the entrance of the ward, and i took over from the doctor and helped with the transfer to angio.
I did not realise there was an issue until about 40 minutes later when i ran into Joanna, who aside from telling me that the nurse (jean) was livid, swore blind that she transfered the patient to radiology. which in itself astounds and frightens me (that joanna was either hallucinating it, or was lying to my face). i went back to jean who promptly told me that my actions were not good enough, and gave me a short lecture on how my time management while i'm at work is her responsibility, not mine. she also called me a liar for "claiming" that i initially took the patient down to radiology. I made the attending nurse convince her that i did indeed attend, and I also apologised profusely and humbly. however, i believe that she will still file this report, and hence this message. The other side of the situation is the fact that i have in fact applied for the permanent part time vacancies on these wards, and i feel that this "misunderstanding" could lead to a bias against me. I really really want that job.
Other issues that arise from this situation; this ANUM expected me to be not following her orders, and in fact was not explicit as to what she wanted me to do. How on earth am I supposed to have someone organise my time when she doesn't actually think i am important enough to look in the eye while she's talking to me. From what i understood, she was expecting me to run off and hide, and she interpreted my actions as how she expected me to act.
I know this is all kinda crap, but I do consider myself to be an extremely efficient clinical assistant, i pride myself in being a reasonably pleasent person to work with, and i hope that any ward will recieve me into a shift, happy in the knowledge that they will not have to compensate for my incompetence.
In other news, I spoke to Ken yesterday about night shift matters, and it seems that i got to the nut of the problem; night shift do not feel that i am a team player, and it seems that certain people have "busted" me using other members of nightshift while i had nothing else to do to do my work. nightshift memory is longer than mine it seems, because i remember maybe 1 time when they claimed to have busted me, i explained the situation to them, they became convinced, and it was dropped. however i do not remember the incident specifically. this all seems to be a product of groupthink (a concept which i'm sure you know about). From what i gathered as well, night shift want more casuals available to nights. Which i find very very odd, since they seem to quite successfully scare away most of the potential night shifters that are employed.
In any case, I wanted to send you this email because i guess i'm feeling very negative about working at RHM as a clinical assistant at the moment, especially as a casual. And I think this information is important when you get annoyed at my cancelling of shifts now, in the past and in the future. Motivation levels in the department are staggering low at the moment, especially in... me. I hate coming into work presently. I don't know if its a result of spending 6 months on leave, or if its because of the continued grievence with Ian and nightshift, or if its because i've grown too old for the job. I loved working at RHM before i went overseas. Now coming in is like torture. from the terror i feel in going into the sign-on sign-off room while ian frost is in there, to anticipating the mood that whatever anum is in charge is in, to wondering if fellow c/a's are lying to my face for the sake of fucking with me.
(or maybe i hated the job all along, and it took me 6 months to forget how much i hated it).
in any case. i'm sure there is nothing you can do anyway. ahh empowerment. but its been almost a year since you got an email like this from me. i'm guessing you missed them. haha. call me monday if you feel the need. not too early though. I've taken to drinking after shifts to wind down. drinking a lot.
~shannon
0434402639
I cancelled the shift today because I had a particularly bad shift yesterday and I don't like having to go to work while feeling so negatively about work. I regret cancelling the shift, because I do need the cash and it leaves the morning allocator in a spot, but i couldn't have come in today after yesterday's events...
From what I gathered from talking to someone, Jean the ANUM on 5N has reported me for ... i'm not sure ... not being telepathic to her needs? I understand that a patient was having a bleed, and that they ordered an immediate angiography to remove the clot. Now they told me of this as soon as the problem arose, but when I went to the bedside to assist with the transfer (and i did respond straight away), they told me to run bloods and then return 30 minutes later, when the doctor had recieved the results of the blood test. So i ran the bloods as fast as i could, and on the way back, was paged by 6W for their final bloods round. so i picked up their bloods, as well as some from 5E, ran them and returned to the ward. from what i ascertained when i got there, they did not have the results from the blood test, so i returned the ECG machine to 5SE and returned to 5N straight away. The doctor, jean and the nurse attending (who's name i did not catch) had wheeled the bed to the entrance of the ward, and i took over from the doctor and helped with the transfer to angio.
I did not realise there was an issue until about 40 minutes later when i ran into Joanna, who aside from telling me that the nurse (jean) was livid, swore blind that she transfered the patient to radiology. which in itself astounds and frightens me (that joanna was either hallucinating it, or was lying to my face). i went back to jean who promptly told me that my actions were not good enough, and gave me a short lecture on how my time management while i'm at work is her responsibility, not mine. she also called me a liar for "claiming" that i initially took the patient down to radiology. I made the attending nurse convince her that i did indeed attend, and I also apologised profusely and humbly. however, i believe that she will still file this report, and hence this message. The other side of the situation is the fact that i have in fact applied for the permanent part time vacancies on these wards, and i feel that this "misunderstanding" could lead to a bias against me. I really really want that job.
Other issues that arise from this situation; this ANUM expected me to be not following her orders, and in fact was not explicit as to what she wanted me to do. How on earth am I supposed to have someone organise my time when she doesn't actually think i am important enough to look in the eye while she's talking to me. From what i understood, she was expecting me to run off and hide, and she interpreted my actions as how she expected me to act.
I know this is all kinda crap, but I do consider myself to be an extremely efficient clinical assistant, i pride myself in being a reasonably pleasent person to work with, and i hope that any ward will recieve me into a shift, happy in the knowledge that they will not have to compensate for my incompetence.
In other news, I spoke to Ken yesterday about night shift matters, and it seems that i got to the nut of the problem; night shift do not feel that i am a team player, and it seems that certain people have "busted" me using other members of nightshift while i had nothing else to do to do my work. nightshift memory is longer than mine it seems, because i remember maybe 1 time when they claimed to have busted me, i explained the situation to them, they became convinced, and it was dropped. however i do not remember the incident specifically. this all seems to be a product of groupthink (a concept which i'm sure you know about). From what i gathered as well, night shift want more casuals available to nights. Which i find very very odd, since they seem to quite successfully scare away most of the potential night shifters that are employed.
In any case, I wanted to send you this email because i guess i'm feeling very negative about working at RHM as a clinical assistant at the moment, especially as a casual. And I think this information is important when you get annoyed at my cancelling of shifts now, in the past and in the future. Motivation levels in the department are staggering low at the moment, especially in... me. I hate coming into work presently. I don't know if its a result of spending 6 months on leave, or if its because of the continued grievence with Ian and nightshift, or if its because i've grown too old for the job. I loved working at RHM before i went overseas. Now coming in is like torture. from the terror i feel in going into the sign-on sign-off room while ian frost is in there, to anticipating the mood that whatever anum is in charge is in, to wondering if fellow c/a's are lying to my face for the sake of fucking with me.
(or maybe i hated the job all along, and it took me 6 months to forget how much i hated it).
in any case. i'm sure there is nothing you can do anyway. ahh empowerment. but its been almost a year since you got an email like this from me. i'm guessing you missed them. haha. call me monday if you feel the need. not too early though. I've taken to drinking after shifts to wind down. drinking a lot.
~shannon
0434402639