(no subject)
i need to get over every guy that i have ever "loved" because i can't keep doing this
i think i may have just lusted over adam. cause right now i cant stand him
he pisses me off.
i went and saw dustin last night. and i realized today just why phx felt like home
why phx felt like it was where i belongs
its because everytime i came up to phx. i stayed at his house. i stayed with his family
i cant say i have honestly been able to truely smile since i got up here
yeah i smiled down in tucson but up here. i havent
and then last night i couldnt stop smiling. and his hugs
god his hugs. mmmm.
something came up and i said how i didnt want to get attached again
and he asked me if wanted to know the cold hard truth
i said yeah
he said that he never stopped being attached to me. that he always has.
and its true. i have always been attached to him. and now that hes only 10 miles away
its hard for me to not run to him with everything. i come to him for everything now
he is one of my best friends. and hes true. and part of me wants to believe
his love for me is true. but part of me cant. i cant keep falling for the guys
that i used to love its just not healthy.
but its true. i am at home when i am with his family. and when i am with him.
maybe its just because ive always been treated like another sibling.
like another daughter.
i have a damn key to their house. i can come and go as i please
and part of me still wants to cry when i have to leave him.
i dont know
im getting myself into a mess that i wont know how to get myself out of
i still dont know why jason isnt talking to me. its gay though. his birthday is on sunday
ill see if he answers my happy birthday text. fuck this is gay
im so homesick. and i miss my friends more then anything
i think i may have just lusted over adam. cause right now i cant stand him
he pisses me off.
i went and saw dustin last night. and i realized today just why phx felt like home
why phx felt like it was where i belongs
its because everytime i came up to phx. i stayed at his house. i stayed with his family
i cant say i have honestly been able to truely smile since i got up here
yeah i smiled down in tucson but up here. i havent
and then last night i couldnt stop smiling. and his hugs
god his hugs. mmmm.
something came up and i said how i didnt want to get attached again
and he asked me if wanted to know the cold hard truth
i said yeah
he said that he never stopped being attached to me. that he always has.
and its true. i have always been attached to him. and now that hes only 10 miles away
its hard for me to not run to him with everything. i come to him for everything now
he is one of my best friends. and hes true. and part of me wants to believe
his love for me is true. but part of me cant. i cant keep falling for the guys
that i used to love its just not healthy.
but its true. i am at home when i am with his family. and when i am with him.
maybe its just because ive always been treated like another sibling.
like another daughter.
i have a damn key to their house. i can come and go as i please
and part of me still wants to cry when i have to leave him.
i dont know
im getting myself into a mess that i wont know how to get myself out of
i still dont know why jason isnt talking to me. its gay though. his birthday is on sunday
ill see if he answers my happy birthday text. fuck this is gay
im so homesick. and i miss my friends more then anything