Saying I'm sorry in advance

[scuopoekrimeasn]

Laying in bed last night, I was thinking about life. Where it's taking me, how I'm going to get there, Where I've been. Certain people from my past, certain people that I just met. And then I realized that I have been holding onto a past that has no future! I keeping holding on to the past hoping and praying that it will have a future. At that time, I thought about the quote about how they are ex's for a reason, because they weren't suppose to make it in your future. I've been trying to relive dreams that I have already woken up from. Dreams that are NEVER going to become true. I've been looking at the closed doors, no staring at the closed doors; knocking, calling out for someone to answer, twisting the knob, begging for someone to open the locked door. I've realized that I am living in a fantasy world. I realized that I get my hopes up, knowing that they will only be crashed down! I try to believe that the flame can start up again, when the wick is frozen cold. I realized that in the next year, everything is going to change. And I don't have any idea how it is going to change. I know one step I have to take to make sure I don't keep reliving this mistake. It's going to take losing a lot of people, a lot of people that mean the WORLD to me. But it's going to be something that I will HAVE to do, in order to move on with my life.

For once I know what I have to do, and how I need to do it. But I don't like it! So I pray that God will help me through this. This next year is going to be the hardest year of them all! So, if things start to fade away between me and you, please don't get mad, please don't try and rekindle anything. I know what I'm doing and it has to be done. And in advance I'm sorry