introspection,home improvements and giant cocks
I will mention little about politics this rant. After all, this country isn't a democracy, dissenters are ignored and persecuted, and i don't own a powerful enough rifle to influence policy the correct way. Also, I'm neither charismatic or well-spoken, and are therefore unable to influence any of my fellow americans without threatening them with physical harm. The people's revolution will have to be postponed until i become charming or good-looking or able to stand in front of a podium without smashing it into fragments.
But let's focus on what I CAN do!
I'll tone the scale down a bit, and relax, and focus on the positive, and just let the words flow, in the soothing, homey manner of Garrison Keillor.
My living room looks damn good after I cleaned it up. I converted one of the floor lamps so it looks like a giant cock, and it's easily visible to the street. Nothing says "good neighbor" like a glowing, seven-foot phallus. I saw a beige bean-bag chair at Target that would look just stunning, if positioned at the base of it. All passers-by will be forced to acknowledge my colossal cock. All guests will bask in its mighty radiance. Women will want to know me after seeing it. Children will marvel and wonder, and someday all wish to have my giant cock, or one like it, in their lives.
There. Pure Keillor.
But let's focus on what I CAN do!
I'll tone the scale down a bit, and relax, and focus on the positive, and just let the words flow, in the soothing, homey manner of Garrison Keillor.
My living room looks damn good after I cleaned it up. I converted one of the floor lamps so it looks like a giant cock, and it's easily visible to the street. Nothing says "good neighbor" like a glowing, seven-foot phallus. I saw a beige bean-bag chair at Target that would look just stunning, if positioned at the base of it. All passers-by will be forced to acknowledge my colossal cock. All guests will bask in its mighty radiance. Women will want to know me after seeing it. Children will marvel and wonder, and someday all wish to have my giant cock, or one like it, in their lives.
There. Pure Keillor.