(no subject)
today
went to the
BELOW YOU SHALL SEE PICTURES I TOOK TODAY, ALONG WITH AN
INFORMATIONAL DESCRIPTION LOCATED JUST BENEATH EACH PHOTO.
here you can see a wolly mammoth standing right in front of the zoo entrance!!
a siberian tiger ferociously attempts to break through the glass enclosure and rip off my head
a grouping of tree branches cleverly stacked and balanced. notice the purple frisbee
hanging perilously. also note the large macaw.
here, a large camel-like creature is depicted in a life-like painting conveniently located
next to a white llama
Timon stands alert, guarding his favorite log. these animals, commonly known as Suricata
suricatta (scientific name: Meerkat) and not soft and cuddly and have never been known
to befriend lions. when frightened, these animals have been known to respond with a
look of pure fear.
a waterfall. this natural phenomena occurs when water is thrown carelessly off of a cliff
like area and succumbs to the forces of gravity. waterfalls can be found all over North
America, as far south as antarctica and as far north as moscow!
a very similar waterfall picture, taken with a different shutter speed.
this Sharp-billed Rooster has a fearsome appetite. when looking for food, these
nocturnal and diurnal animals have been known to rotate their heads from side to
side to ease their search.
this King Cobra is the all time leader in camouflage. in order to protect itself from countless predators,
it has learned to turn itself into a wallaby (as shown above).
Hua Mei, the famous panda, has lived in captivity since the time she was captured
and removed from the wild. a panda bear is also very unique because it is the only
species of bear whose name can be rearranged to spell 'a band rape'.
this species of reptile is known as the Temporarily Hibernating Reptile. as shown
above, this animal hibernates temporarily for a few hours each day. when not
hibernatin', this critter likes to eat and sit around, mentally preparing for the next
hibernation period.
here you can see the Skinny-Faced-Multi-Colored-Four-Legged-Ant-Eating-Mammal, cleverly
named for its small beady eyes. despite years of strenuous field study, researchers are still unsure of
what the SFMCFLAEM eats.
DO NOT CONTINUE VIEWING IF SMALL CHILDREN ARE PRESENT
this gray-skinned elephant (the world's largest carnivore) is displaying its huge
backside along with it's blantant disrespect for any trash-can shaped object dangling
from a tree. when this elephant attacks, like it is above, it is capable of ejecting up to 17
pounds of pure snot from its bazooka shaped nose, permanently blinding and mentally
scarring the unfortunate victim
i dont have much to say about this picture. i love tigers, and i really like this
picture.
here is a relative of the great white shark, the great brown bear. although the massive head and powerful jaws, dont let this big fella fool ya'. lets just say that not very many straight bears would get such nice manicures. i mean, im not saying that there is anything wrong with being a gay bear, but finely clipped claws take a little somthin' away from the mean exterior, dont you think?
no matter what the discovery channel says, bears can pee! this massive
puddle and flowing stream (look to the far left) were created by a very long
urination session from the bear shown above. were i to take a guess, i would
say that at least 2-3 gallons or pure urine were released into the enclosure.
this is a very rare and interesting specimen. known to the scientific community as
Brettimus Pepinimus, this species is known to annoy the crap out of nearly
every being it comes into contact with. while its arrival is usually predictable,
unexpected appearances have been made. witness claim they notice intense
feelings of mass confusion, utter chaos, complete disgust. WARNING: Avoid all
contact with Brettimus Pepinimus. if spotted, contact animal control or your local
pest service immediately
i was just kiddin, brett