Ringing in the new year.
This is my first entry for 2007. I don't even know where to start.
I guess the first is John. The whole situation was so ridiculous and could have been easily avoided. I remember John being such a good friend in middle school. Always joking around and making people smile. I remember the beginning of high school, still good friends. Birthdays and lunches... John was never the kind of guy you got sick of, he was always welcome. I'm sorry we lost touch senior year and I never got to say a true farewell. While I John enjoyed the time he had, I'm mad he did not get more time. I'm mad that he was unable to see 2007. I'm mad at the way in which he lost his life. I'm mad that he will not be able to live to accomplish future goals. They say there is a reason for everything. I've tried to find one in this case and so far my search has proven to be insignificant. I have faith that there is a reason and that someone has learned from his sacrifice. As many have said, John is smiling down upon us and hoping for our tears to dry. He beat us to a better place, yet he could never be forgotten in this one. His memories live strong and his friends have been changed for the better. Rest in peace, John DeBella. I miss you.
I'm sure there is more to say on his behalf, but I just can't say anymore. I think by now, everyone has dedicated thought to the situation and to John himself.
Nothing but love is necessary anymore.
Other than that, an old friend came to town. Which was great. Strangely enough, it felt like she'd never left. A lot of time has been spent with friends lately. That's always a good thing. So many people have gone back to school in the past few days, I hope classes and such are going well for everyone. It's weird not to be in school yet. I like it, but its weird. I like being home with friends though. I have true friends here as opposed to those at school, for now anyway.
I like my school, I do. But honestly, I'm having doubts. I've finally been able to admit that to myself. I don't want to deal with having made a wrong decision. But, what if? What if I'm at the wrong school? What if I can't do marine science? What else would I do? There's nothing I'm as determined about. I guess I'm just confused. I feel like there is an answer and I just can't see it. It is def frustrating. I argued with my friends before break and now I have few left at school. I want to be looking forward to seeing people, but I don't think they feel that way about me. There's maybe a couple who care. The girls I fought with certainly don't. I'm switching roommates. And the guys, the guys have created a tight knit group recently that unfortunately I did not get myself into. The crush is head over heels for someone else. And basically I just don't know what I am doing there. I can't say it is wrong bc I cannot imagine being any happier anywhere else. Everything is just so plain and mediocre. I want to be having a blast and enjoying college life like everyone else. So many people call school "home", they know they belong there while I still stand dazed and confused in a crowd of strangers. I hope it improves. And I will do all I can do encourage that improvement.
I'm excited for a vacation, and I hope to make a noticeable change in myself before heading back to school. I'm such a different person at school and at home. I think I need to find a middle ground. As much as I needed relaxation, this break has proved to be slightly stressful. Not academically, but so much has happened that I had not anticipated. Anyway, I'm done for now because I'm actually getting tired and I have a few things to do before sleep. Goodnight everyone.
Oh, and Go Gators! :)
<3
I guess the first is John. The whole situation was so ridiculous and could have been easily avoided. I remember John being such a good friend in middle school. Always joking around and making people smile. I remember the beginning of high school, still good friends. Birthdays and lunches... John was never the kind of guy you got sick of, he was always welcome. I'm sorry we lost touch senior year and I never got to say a true farewell. While I John enjoyed the time he had, I'm mad he did not get more time. I'm mad that he was unable to see 2007. I'm mad at the way in which he lost his life. I'm mad that he will not be able to live to accomplish future goals. They say there is a reason for everything. I've tried to find one in this case and so far my search has proven to be insignificant. I have faith that there is a reason and that someone has learned from his sacrifice. As many have said, John is smiling down upon us and hoping for our tears to dry. He beat us to a better place, yet he could never be forgotten in this one. His memories live strong and his friends have been changed for the better. Rest in peace, John DeBella. I miss you.
I'm sure there is more to say on his behalf, but I just can't say anymore. I think by now, everyone has dedicated thought to the situation and to John himself.
Nothing but love is necessary anymore.
Other than that, an old friend came to town. Which was great. Strangely enough, it felt like she'd never left. A lot of time has been spent with friends lately. That's always a good thing. So many people have gone back to school in the past few days, I hope classes and such are going well for everyone. It's weird not to be in school yet. I like it, but its weird. I like being home with friends though. I have true friends here as opposed to those at school, for now anyway.
I like my school, I do. But honestly, I'm having doubts. I've finally been able to admit that to myself. I don't want to deal with having made a wrong decision. But, what if? What if I'm at the wrong school? What if I can't do marine science? What else would I do? There's nothing I'm as determined about. I guess I'm just confused. I feel like there is an answer and I just can't see it. It is def frustrating. I argued with my friends before break and now I have few left at school. I want to be looking forward to seeing people, but I don't think they feel that way about me. There's maybe a couple who care. The girls I fought with certainly don't. I'm switching roommates. And the guys, the guys have created a tight knit group recently that unfortunately I did not get myself into. The crush is head over heels for someone else. And basically I just don't know what I am doing there. I can't say it is wrong bc I cannot imagine being any happier anywhere else. Everything is just so plain and mediocre. I want to be having a blast and enjoying college life like everyone else. So many people call school "home", they know they belong there while I still stand dazed and confused in a crowd of strangers. I hope it improves. And I will do all I can do encourage that improvement.
I'm excited for a vacation, and I hope to make a noticeable change in myself before heading back to school. I'm such a different person at school and at home. I think I need to find a middle ground. As much as I needed relaxation, this break has proved to be slightly stressful. Not academically, but so much has happened that I had not anticipated. Anyway, I'm done for now because I'm actually getting tired and I have a few things to do before sleep. Goodnight everyone.
Oh, and Go Gators! :)
<3