It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is. ~ Desiderius Erasmus
I really, really need to start making lists of possible topics for blogging. I think of things, get busy and never post.
Ran across a great post by guest-blogger Victor J. Banis at Nose In A Book, regarding regret and liking yourself ... perspective basically ... that I found really inspiring.
Excerpt:
I view regret as just another, more subtle way of flagellating oneself. Every moment of your life, every person and event, every mistake and triumph, has contributed to bringing you to where you are, to making you who and what you are. If you like yourself what is there to regret?
Don't like yourself? Work on it. People take their cues from you. I can tell you for certain, in your entire life no one will ever like you any more than you like yourself. Looking for love? If you are not looking first at your self you really are looking in all the wrong places.
Whatever else may have gone from you with time or the sometimes puzzling machinations of fate there is one thing that you can never lose - no one ever has occupied, or ever will occupy, your unique place in the universe. Cherish it.
Take a look around yourself - better yet, take a look inside yourself. This is your life. Right now. Right here. Take responsibility for it. Are you happy? If not, why not? Unhappiness is mostly wanting things to be something other than what they really are. Wanting your next door neighbor to fall in love with you doesn't make it so, it only makes you unhappy.
The conditions you put on being happy are the exact measure of the distance between yourself and happiness. Happiness cannot be deferred. We tend to choose to be unhappy until we can have our way with things. Like the child holding his breath until his parent gives in, we tell God, or life, that we are willing to be happy - when we get that new job, when so-and-so falls in love with us, when we have lost twenty pounds. This is not happiness, this is contract negotiation. Unfortunately, the other side across the negotiating table from you is just you again. We have met the enemy, as Pogo used to say, and he is us.
Practice a little tenderness. We live in such a crowded world it is inevitable that from time to time we are going to bump into one another. If we keep our edges a little soft, it won't hurt so much. Courtesy, manners, respect for others - these are not "extras" in life, they are a major part of what separates us from the kids with the tails. Miss Manners jokes about saving civilization but her claim is not as exaggerated as it sounds. Throughout our long history, in every civilization that has come and gone, the first signal of decay, of the unraveling of the fabric, has always been the decline in everyday manners, the failure of the common courtesies people visit upon one another.
I guess what I am suggesting is, try living your life in such a way that if the curtain goes up sooner than you expected you'll be ready anyway for the tableau.
When I mentioned these memoirs to an acquaintance of mine he said, "Don't you think you're taking yourself a bit too seriously?"
Too seriously? I don't think anyone who has read this far will accuse me of that. But I will tell you in all candor, I am convinced that I am the best thing that ever happened to me.
Sound egotistical? Then let me add, I am equally convinced that you are the best thing that ever happened to you. Forget the fat pictures, tape that message to your refrigerator and make the effort to live accordingly. It'll change your life. It certainly did mine.
Well put, eh? Definitely what I strive for ... that peace and freedom of being comfortable in your own skin.
I think if we have lived at all, most of have a few regrets. Actually, no, I don't have regrets per se. I have a couple things I wish I would have, could have, done differently at the time, but I don't actively regret them. I've found you have to let that stuff go or it eats you up inside. And I'm always, always preaching about liking yourself first. You are what you think, what you say. If you don't have yourself, know yourself, you have nothing of lasting value. I am the best thing that ever happened to me, because without me nothing would have ever happened. Do I have goals left to accomplish? Yes. Do I have changes to make? Yes. Do I accomplish things all on my own, every time? No. It doesn't mean you think you are perfect, and at times we all need help.
For me it's about self-esteem, inner confidence, knowing I'm capable. It's about finding laughter every single day and not getting caught up in daily trivia that means less than nothing when put into perspective. Fat, thin, rich, poor, whatever, I'm happy in my own head.
Ran across a great post by guest-blogger Victor J. Banis at Nose In A Book, regarding regret and liking yourself ... perspective basically ... that I found really inspiring.
Excerpt:
I view regret as just another, more subtle way of flagellating oneself. Every moment of your life, every person and event, every mistake and triumph, has contributed to bringing you to where you are, to making you who and what you are. If you like yourself what is there to regret?
Don't like yourself? Work on it. People take their cues from you. I can tell you for certain, in your entire life no one will ever like you any more than you like yourself. Looking for love? If you are not looking first at your self you really are looking in all the wrong places.
Whatever else may have gone from you with time or the sometimes puzzling machinations of fate there is one thing that you can never lose - no one ever has occupied, or ever will occupy, your unique place in the universe. Cherish it.
Take a look around yourself - better yet, take a look inside yourself. This is your life. Right now. Right here. Take responsibility for it. Are you happy? If not, why not? Unhappiness is mostly wanting things to be something other than what they really are. Wanting your next door neighbor to fall in love with you doesn't make it so, it only makes you unhappy.
The conditions you put on being happy are the exact measure of the distance between yourself and happiness. Happiness cannot be deferred. We tend to choose to be unhappy until we can have our way with things. Like the child holding his breath until his parent gives in, we tell God, or life, that we are willing to be happy - when we get that new job, when so-and-so falls in love with us, when we have lost twenty pounds. This is not happiness, this is contract negotiation. Unfortunately, the other side across the negotiating table from you is just you again. We have met the enemy, as Pogo used to say, and he is us.
Practice a little tenderness. We live in such a crowded world it is inevitable that from time to time we are going to bump into one another. If we keep our edges a little soft, it won't hurt so much. Courtesy, manners, respect for others - these are not "extras" in life, they are a major part of what separates us from the kids with the tails. Miss Manners jokes about saving civilization but her claim is not as exaggerated as it sounds. Throughout our long history, in every civilization that has come and gone, the first signal of decay, of the unraveling of the fabric, has always been the decline in everyday manners, the failure of the common courtesies people visit upon one another.
I guess what I am suggesting is, try living your life in such a way that if the curtain goes up sooner than you expected you'll be ready anyway for the tableau.
When I mentioned these memoirs to an acquaintance of mine he said, "Don't you think you're taking yourself a bit too seriously?"
Too seriously? I don't think anyone who has read this far will accuse me of that. But I will tell you in all candor, I am convinced that I am the best thing that ever happened to me.
Sound egotistical? Then let me add, I am equally convinced that you are the best thing that ever happened to you. Forget the fat pictures, tape that message to your refrigerator and make the effort to live accordingly. It'll change your life. It certainly did mine.
Well put, eh? Definitely what I strive for ... that peace and freedom of being comfortable in your own skin.
I think if we have lived at all, most of have a few regrets. Actually, no, I don't have regrets per se. I have a couple things I wish I would have, could have, done differently at the time, but I don't actively regret them. I've found you have to let that stuff go or it eats you up inside. And I'm always, always preaching about liking yourself first. You are what you think, what you say. If you don't have yourself, know yourself, you have nothing of lasting value. I am the best thing that ever happened to me, because without me nothing would have ever happened. Do I have goals left to accomplish? Yes. Do I have changes to make? Yes. Do I accomplish things all on my own, every time? No. It doesn't mean you think you are perfect, and at times we all need help.
For me it's about self-esteem, inner confidence, knowing I'm capable. It's about finding laughter every single day and not getting caught up in daily trivia that means less than nothing when put into perspective. Fat, thin, rich, poor, whatever, I'm happy in my own head.