So we were going to school this morning. At least, that's what we expected we were doing. Turns out we were actually heading towards IMPENDING DOOM.
So no shit, there I was, chillin in the car, checkin out this stone cold hottie drivin the car next to me, when all of a sudden there's a noise, from the car, and then nothing. I'm like, " O SHI-" and so is she. We are on this steep hill, heavy traffic, and the car just won't go vroom. ARGH. So we gotta get out of traffic, just me n her, she has a bad back, I'm, well, me. We're screwed.
We jump out, trying to get the car rolling in a controlled fashion. [I AM A FUCKING HOMOGAY RETARD.] Elevation differences make this a tricky process. The car starts rolling out of control. Cars are bearing down on us, in SPITE of the fact that the hazard lights were on, both occupants were actually not currently occupying the vehicle, and it was rolling downhill, here they come anyway. I guess some people are just too damned important to be bothered with plebeian things like courtesy or basic safety, or avoiding vehicular manslaughter... Canada had to run out in front of our car while it was still rolling to wave her arms around like a crazy person to get them to realize we aren't some kind of latte-induced hallucination. The car is rolling, on it's own, murderous Wal-mart execs are barreling down on us, it's raining... I feel this surge of energy, raw POWER... the car, it is weightless, just a toy. In my titanic grip, it flows gently where i want it to go. we reach safety. I look down, to see why my pants feel wet. I think to myself, 'when did i get ravioli on my leg?'
Not ravioli. That... is my knee.
She calls up the masked superhero she has on retainer to let him know what's up and see if he can help, he says he's on his way. she calls her dad as a backup plan. Cellphone battery is dying. Fuck. Smoking a cigarette... waiting... bleeding... yeah. Then the guy shows up, gets us out of there, missing school today. turns out the knee is fine. Epic day though.
Ben (the masked hero) wrote this post for me upon my request, seeing as how the trauma induced by the event has left me unable to describe it. Seriously, I tried. I just can't describe the kind of awful those people were being.
Oh, one thing that got left out, if I hadn't stopped the car (which I did by running to the driver's side door and hanging onto the doorframe) it would have hit Canada.
Also I tripped on the way to grab the doorframe which is how my knee got hurt. I don't know how I forgot to include that. This whole thing is really fractured when I try to remember it.
That is... wow. I don't really know what to say but... I'm glad everyone is okay. I can't really imagine what it would be like. I understand what happened, but it would be completely different for the people involved.
There was one cool person who helped us out. The lady working at the Forza coffee place we pulled into was really sympathetic, allowed Canada and I into the same bathroom so we could use the first aid kit she gave us on my knee, and offered us free coffee. When we drove out to TCC later Canada stopped back into the coffee shop and gave her a $10 tip.
So no shit, there I was, chillin in the car, checkin out this stone cold hottie drivin the car next to me, when all of a sudden there's a noise, from the car, and then nothing. I'm like, " O SHI-" and so is she. We are on this steep hill, heavy traffic, and the car just won't go vroom. ARGH. So we gotta get out of traffic, just me n her, she has a bad back, I'm, well, me. We're screwed.
We jump out, trying to get the car rolling in a controlled fashion. [I AM A FUCKING HOMOGAY RETARD.] Elevation differences make this a tricky process. The car starts rolling out of control. Cars are bearing down on us, in SPITE of the fact that the hazard lights were on, both occupants were actually not currently occupying the vehicle, and it was rolling downhill, here they come anyway. I guess some people are just too damned important to be bothered with plebeian things like courtesy or basic safety, or avoiding vehicular manslaughter... Canada had to run out in front of our car while it was still rolling to wave her arms around like a crazy person to get them to realize we aren't some kind of latte-induced hallucination. The car is rolling, on it's own, murderous Wal-mart execs are barreling down on us, it's raining... I feel this surge of energy, raw POWER... the car, it is weightless, just a toy. In my titanic grip, it flows gently where i want it to go. we reach safety. I look down, to see why my pants feel wet. I think to myself, 'when did i get ravioli on my leg?'
Not ravioli. That... is my knee.
She calls up the masked superhero she has on retainer to let him know what's up and see if he can help, he says he's on his way. she calls her dad as a backup plan. Cellphone battery is dying. Fuck. Smoking a cigarette... waiting... bleeding... yeah. Then the guy shows up, gets us out of there, missing school today. turns out the knee is fine. Epic day though.
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