(no subject)
On Sharing Loved Films With Loved Ones.
Falling to my knees and screaming might be the most appropriate representation of my emotional investment in sharing films. How silly, in retrospect, but for the moment, I check periodically for facial cues, reactions, reviews in gaping mouths, blinks per minute, rolling eyes, low lids, wandering.
Film has been an exploration of lives outside my own. Not to console my own woes or reassure my stability, but to share a moment, two hours, with another human, however melodramatic, realistic, fantastic. To share a loved film with a loved one is to share a moment of effect, feeling -- empathizing, relating in relating to imaginary beings. Perhaps their reaction will legitimize my own. Perhaps I want them to love what I love, feel how I feel, however momentary. A strange dislocated hug of sorts, feeling an embrace while embracing. I'm not entirely sure why film matters so much to me, why I am shattered by disagreement. Perhaps it is something worth exploring more.
Falling to my knees and screaming might be the most appropriate representation of my emotional investment in sharing films. How silly, in retrospect, but for the moment, I check periodically for facial cues, reactions, reviews in gaping mouths, blinks per minute, rolling eyes, low lids, wandering.
Film has been an exploration of lives outside my own. Not to console my own woes or reassure my stability, but to share a moment, two hours, with another human, however melodramatic, realistic, fantastic. To share a loved film with a loved one is to share a moment of effect, feeling -- empathizing, relating in relating to imaginary beings. Perhaps their reaction will legitimize my own. Perhaps I want them to love what I love, feel how I feel, however momentary. A strange dislocated hug of sorts, feeling an embrace while embracing. I'm not entirely sure why film matters so much to me, why I am shattered by disagreement. Perhaps it is something worth exploring more.